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Tell me the most ridiculous, illogical, thing that your Ex has ever said to you!


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lmao, oh man. this thread has me rolling. Sun Kissed's reminded me of one. Not about me, but my 52 yr old mother, who mind you, didn't have sex before marriage, has never used drugs, doesnt cuss, just a very sweet sweet women.

 

She works for a well known drug company, went to a company party. And a "famous" newsbroadcaster in this area, was there. Came up to her, (This guy is like 65), says "Wow, you're beautiful, I'd love to take you out, I know you have a golden (ryhmes with wussy). I have never laughed so hard in my life.

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She - " no, you are not studyin anymore, you have 2 more exams to go how are you going to cope, we can't meet more than 3 times a week, don't act like a normal boyfriend, 2 times is enough"

 

Me - " wait a minute, how you know i am not studyin, i have been studyin my pants off for the last one month and what does it have to do with the frequency of our dates..."

 

She - " what do you mean, thats it, its over between us"

 

and me " what the heck"](*,)

 

one month later results out - i top exams...

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Man, these cheered me up. Here's my ex recently:

 

Her: "We need to go real slow, I have been hurt before"

Me: "OK"

Her (in a text the next day): "My life, how are you today?"

Her (in a text the day after): "You are my sky, my life."

Her (in texts for weeks after): "My love, I miss you so much, when can we meet?"

 

and so on....

 

Her in a last text: "I have very special feelings for you."

Me (in person): "I think I am falling in love with you."

Her (as she dumped me): "No. I said I wanted to go slow."

 

Her excuses were priceless.

 

Her: "It's too hot"

 

 

Her: "My car has broken down"

Me: "I have a car"

Her: "My brother has stolen my car"

 

 

Her: "I am at my Aunt's for the weekend"

Me: "I can come to your Aunt's"

Her: "You don't know where it is"

 

She is Spanish, so maybe I missed something in translation God, I love that girl

 

p.s. I nearly forgot another gem

 

Her ( 3rd text): "Where are you?"

Me: "Sorry, there was no mobile phone signal."

Her: "You don't want me anymore?"

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Her ( 3rd text): "Where are you?"

Me: "Sorry, there was no mobile phone signal."

Her: "You don't want me anymore?"

 

naaah i think she works on some other frequency....

 

well i think she took it ok for no signal....i got dumped lol for chargin my phone without puttin it on.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Someone is hacking my chat program! Even though its a really old computer using outdated programs, it can't be random hackers! You must be doing it to me! Tell me why? WHY ARE YOU HACKING ME YOU PIECE OF {removed by mod}? *verbal shaking for several hours* Okay, then it must be your mom! She hates me! I'll kill her! *rants for another hour*

 

(next day)

 

Someone is hacking my chat program. Why the hell are you getting so tense? OMG YOU ARE DOING IT! How dare you lie to me!

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Someone is hacking my chat program! Even though its a really old computer using outdated programs, it can't be random hackers! You must be doing it to me! Tell me why? WHY ARE YOU HACKING ME YOU PIECE OF {removed by mod}? *verbal shaking for several hours* Okay, then it must be your mom! She hates me! I'll kill her! *rants for another hour*

 

(next day)

 

Someone is hacking my chat program. Why the hell are you getting so tense? OMG YOU ARE DOING IT! How dare you lie to me!

 

Holy SHIP!!!!!

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Someone is hacking my chat program! Even though its a really old computer using outdated programs, it can't be random hackers! You must be doing it to me! Tell me why? WHY ARE YOU HACKING ME YOU PIECE OF {removed by mod}? *verbal shaking for several hours* Okay, then it must be your mom! She hates me! I'll kill her! *rants for another hour*

 

(next day)

 

Someone is hacking my chat program. Why the hell are you getting so tense? OMG YOU ARE DOING IT! How dare you lie to me!

 

hehe....never knew hackin could be so fun lol...why didn't you do that on the contrary...kiddin.

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He told me that I could not possibly buy snowblades instead of skis. Apparently, that was too embarrassing for HIM.

 

He also told me (while crying and essentially breaking up with me), "I'll never find someone like you!". Meanwhile, I sat there and thought, "Clearly, you don't WANT someone like me!"

 

He also suggested his getting an apartment near mine instead of moving in with me. I could just picture telling my friends: Yeah, we're ready to take that next big step- same neighborhood!

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Dumbest thing huh...there are so many....

 

Ok, here it is...

 

I have you and all these other girls on the side on a string pulling you at my whim, being very careful with each of you so I won't lose any of you, I know I can just move on to the next one if I get upset with one, but you're my favorite, that's why you're my girlfriend.

 

How stupid is that?!?...We broke up that night!

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