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joeG

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About joeG

  • Birthday 04/28/1983

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  1. You believe 99% of the posts are real, in this section? Don't get me wrong, I know people are grieving, people are depressed, but he honest with yourself. I honestly believe, people will "seek out help" on here, and once they get the "Oh no, dont do it" "You will be missed, let me help!", they smile, and move on. They either, won't post again. Or will make another account. Lets be real.
  2. joeG

    Want to want

    I have to agree with Angel. Iv'e been in your place before Lubber, and it took me being completely SINGLE for almost two years, to feel that way. I was used to being in a relationship, always having a girlfriend. I can't pinpoint what it was, but there came a time in my life a few years back, I put MYSELF first. I went out, did what made me happy, and truly found myself. I realized it wasnt so much feelings or emotions, as it was becoming a man. I needed a lot more substance, than I did in the past. Don't worry about chemistry or finding a girl, cuz believe me, it will hit you out of the blue, when you least expect it. Be happy doing what it is you do now. Keep working at being your own person, and someone will fall into place.
  3. First off, I'd like to say what's up to my fellow Minnesotan Avman. Grew up in the cities, just moved out west last year, thinking about moving home, missing it like crazy. I understand where you both are coming from. I myself have never been in a "deep" depression, but it runs like water in my family. Bi polarism/Manic depression on both sides, I'm either really good at turning off my extreme emotions, or just very fortunate. Iv'e lost two people from my past to suicide. And in both cases, you heard it once "I want to kill myself", and they did. I personally get offended when people sit on these sites for months, insisting they're going to kill themselves. And 9 out of 10 times, more like 9 in a half, don't. Instead, they soak up the attention they are seeking, what is that doing? This "attention" is coming from complete strangers. If you're THAT depressed, I agree you need serious help. You need to get off this website and seek out professional help. Nothing will change my mind about "giving up on yourself". I have been through struggles my whole life (nothing I wish to share here). I'm not trying to come off as "I can do it, so can you", I realize not everyone has the strength to pull themselves together. I sat in couseling offices ages 13-16, having counselors INSIST I was suicidal, because of what I was going through. I have people close to my heart who have been pulled through the dirt their whole intire life, but they fight. People are taken out of this world everyday, that WANT to be here. You're only given one life, that we know of, make the best of it. If I came off rude, and incosiderate, I really apologise. Alls I'm saying is, we can't pick and chose where we come from. We didn't have the choice of how we grew up. But we CAN decide on how to live our futures. Depression is something people hold onto. Because for a lot of people, that's the only feeling they know. Once you learn to let go, things will get better.
  4. Do you guys share any of the same friends? If so, try getting a couple together on the weekend, go bowling, to the mall something everyone can participate in. That way there's not as many people around, making it easier for you to feel "comfortable". It's always the hardest with what initial words to say just to "strike up a conversation". Like Skittles said, talk about movies, classes etc...Girls like to talk about themselves, so once she starts talking, just start nodding your head a lot and saying "Yeah mhmm" =]
  5. I'm not writing this to hurt anybodys feelings, or to come accross as some ignorant jerk. But reading through some of these posts, truly makes me sick to my stomache, and I find it really hard to sympathize with 99% of the people on here talking about how they're going to "End it". We ALL deal with hard times, every single day. So what makes you so special? Life is a struggle each and everyday, granted some of us have gone through a lot more than others, but that is what makes us who we are. Iv'e lost a handfull of childhood friends to self destruction, drugs, suicide. My own brother, who was the high school jock, most popular kid in school, all the friends in the world, became overly depressed at the age of 23, and I dont think he to this day even knows why. He started cutting himself, and hid all of this from everyone, it took my mother walking in on him to realize something was wrong. And this grown man, who Iv'e never seen shed a tear, bawled like a baby, saying he was just sick of life. He got help, and a year later he's slowly turning back into himself. He was diagnosed with bi polarism, and still has his "days", but he's faught to get where he is, and I look up to him for that. Not only is suicide EXTREMELY selfish, it just goes to show how easily you give up. Since when are the best things in life not WORTH the struggle? You find your own happiness. Become your own person, and quit looking for the easy way out. Yeah people will mourn your death, but guess what months, years, decades will pass, and you will be a faded memory. People WILL move on with their lives. It's the people that truly ASK for help, instead of saying things like "Tell me the easiest way to do it" that are the strong ones here. No matter how tough your life is, what you're going through, there is always someone out there willing to listen, willing to help. So quit looking for the easy way out.
  6. I'm 23, don't live with my mother, and she still freaked when I got my tongue pierced haha! Not really freaked, more of a "Gross!Yuck!No I dont want to see it!!" I think it's a little ridiculous, that at 18 yrs old, you have a 11 o'clock curfew. Have you ever tried sitting down with her and discussing these things? And just to for warn you. Tongue piercings HURT like HELL for a good week afterwards. You won't be able to eat any food other than soft, liquid type things. It doesn't hurt the first day/night you get it done, it's when you wake up with drool coming down both sides of your mouth, and a 4 inch thick tongue it really starts to hurt.
  7. I agree with Cat. A lot of men don't see that a lot of women TOO like sex with no strings attatched. If that's not what you're looking for, i'd leave her alone. If you're looking to get laid, next time you hang out with her and she acts like that, put the moves on her. Women like that, like aggressive men.
  8. She phoned again this morning, 7:30 am. I was awake already so I answered. I said "So is this a daily thing now, you calling at the butt crack of dawn" she said "No, I just like hearing your voice" allllllright. We chit chatted for a good hour, about life, her little sister, my family etc. Didn't talk about "us", which we rarely do anyway. She told me she into an old aquaintence of ours a few days ago. And he asked "Where her bf is?" she told him I was back in XXXX, and he said "Oh, are you guys still together" she replied with "We are taking things day by day". I was unaware we were taking things day by day. It's funny how we communicate great, always have, yet I didn't know we were taking things "day by day". I realize some of you are probably thinking "You are an idiot, she obviously still wants to be with you", or "You are an idiot, stop talking to her". What is going on here?
  9. Personally, I think you're over-reacting a little. They are survey's, they're meant to be "fun" even if it's in a immature way. Why a 30 something year old woman would fill these out, is kind of funny. But at any rate, her past is her past. I don't think it's anything to get too worked up about. If it bothers you that much, and is going to cause problems, just tell her you don't enjoy hearing about her past sexual relationships, what she has/hasnt done. Also, is this an internet romance?
  10. I just saw a talk show today about controlling men. Makes me sick to my stomache that these guys really think they're kings. In my opinion they are quite easy to read. They are unhappy with themselves, and have absolutely no self esteem what so ever, so why should you? They get their jollies off by making others feel like sh!t.
  11. Thanks a lot for the replies. I would never show him pictures. And won't ever talk about it with him, I have never once mentioned her bf's name to him. Not because he's a bad guy, just because I know it's a touchy subject. My father is VERY VERY stubborn, when it comes to his feelings. He is a very intellegent man, I keep telling him to hit jeopardy up for some money. But, he does not deal well, at all, with his feelings. (Probably where I get it from). When he is hurting, he hurts alone...and doesn't want to bother anyone else with it. I have seen my father cry twice in my life. Once the day my mom sent divorce papers, and the day I moved away a year and a half ago. I had all my friends over, packing up the rest of my things. I wanted to hug, and say goodbye to my father last, but he quickly came up, hugged me for a good 5 minutes, my two good friends broke down in tears seeing my father cry. He quickly told me he loved me, and walked inside. Later told me watching me leave was the hardest thing he's done. But he's very happy for me. Me and my dad have always had this bond. He went from being this business man, that cared about nothing more than just his job. To the best father anyone could ask for. I have battled with my actions of moving 1,500 miles away. I know I need to be my own man, and make my own desicions, but he's left there, alone. All of his family is 4 hours away. He has a couple close friends, but that is it. He spent last Thanksgiving, alone, and it broke my heart. * * * *, Iv'e even "hooked" him up with a couple friends mom, givin him dating sites to check out, why wont he take anything up? It's almost like he enjoys being alone, and I know he doesn't. I know he's unhappy, even tho he puts a smile on. He has a great job, a nice place, the best sense of humor you could imagine, why won't he date?
  12. Everyone needs SOME sort of physical attraction to someone they want to be with, that is just human nature. I wouldn't say you're being shallow, but I would say you're being unfair to her. She obviously is really into you (hence the clingyness), if you can't get over her weight issue, I say give her the boot, and spare her feelings. People that are overweight usually have a great deal of low self esteem, and you "leading" her on in a sense, and "waiting" for her to lose the weight, isn't fair. Cuz there are plenty of men out there that wouldn't mind her weight. You said you love her face, and hair, obviously you are somewhat physically attracted to her. I won't lie, I can be extremely shallow when it comes to looks. I had never dated an even remotely close to overweight woman before. I met a girl through a friend 2 years back. We hit it off instantly, she was very very pretty, but a good 20-30 pounds overweight. At first, I wasn't really that attracted to her BECAUSE of her weight. She had a gorgeous face, great boobs =] and an excellent personality. We became great friends, and after about a month I found myself falling hard for her. Her weight was no longer an issue because she was a beautiful person. I think if you take things slow, you will get past her weight issue. Good luck.
  13. marry? I don't know that we're all that ready for that step. Commit fully, in hopes of marriage, yes. She called this morning 6 am, I was actually just falling asleep (went out lastnight). Who the hell calls people at 6 am? I answered with "What are you doing calling so damn early" she says "I just wanted to call and tell you I love you, I had to wake up early to get my sister ready for school" OK? We talk for a little while. She tells me how cold it is there, and how she really misses snuggling up. I said "Dont bring all this up right now" she kept on "Really, I miss cuddling with you so much". I really dont remember much else of the convo, other than telling her I was going back to bed lol. Another thing. I'm currently staying with my mother for another week. My mom has known my ex as long as I have, and they always got along great. The ex called lastnight while I was sleeping, my mom had, had a couple drinks. I woke up to my mom telling me I was supposed to call the ex back. I call her back, she tells me how her and my mother had a nice convo. I asked about what. She said "Well, she was just saying how she's worried about you, because she knows you're not sure on where you want to live". I figured no big deal. Until the ex said "Yeah, she said you were thinking either back to your homestate of back DOWN HERE" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? First of all, Iv'e never expressed to my mother I wanted to move back down to my ex's homestate. I think she thought she was helping out, but in reality she made me look like a fool. I told my ex, she had been drinking and I had not said that, but she seemed all excited. Started making jokes about it. Now she's calling at 6 am?
  14. all sounds way too similar. My ex, broke up with me almost exactly 2 months ago, to this day. And has been saying the SAME things as your ex, since day one of the split. She IS fishing. She could be guilty, doing her own dirt. Or just wondering who you're talking to. Either way, don't fall for it. When she asks, make jokes about it like "Well, you're so un easy who are YOU talking to" don't straight out, give her an answer period. For whatever reason, she is playing games. Whether it be, her own guilty conscience, or just feeling insecure, dont play it. When she calls, dont answer. Wait a few hours, a day etc. Like I said, For the past 2 months, Iv'e been playing this same game. My ex will call, if I dont answer she phones 5-6 times in a row. When I do call back, I got 20 ?'s headed my way. Play it cool. Let her know you're BUSY, let her know you gotta nother life. Good luck.
  15. Hi ya'll. Aside from having my own relationships issues with my ex. I'm having a hard time with my parents too. They were married for 25 years. At the age of 12 (I'm 23 now), I KNEW in my heart, they wouldn't last. I was brought up in a very good inviornment, middle class family, but it never meant anything. It was all a image to the outside world. My parents never fought in front of me and my brother, but I'd come home, to see my dad sleeping on the couch, I always noticed little things. I was a rebelious child, got into a lot of trouble. Still can't grasp hold of why, I was an all start athlete, always a good kid, just always put myself in the "wrong place wrong time". Growing up. My father always took the intiative to show me sports. I remember being a little boy, playing catch with him, him bringing me to the skating rink to teach me hockey, etc. But I was ALWAYS a "mommas boy". My dad was always there physicallly, not emotionally. I was an all star hockey player until my late high school years, got kicked off the team for attendence (Had colleges looking at me). I sabotaged my athletic skills early on. But, when I got kicked of the team, my father pretty much ignored me. I started hanging out with the "wrong crew" got in a lot of trouble. Eventually, my father got laid off from his job, and my mother who had wanted to move out the west coast all of her life, finally had the oppurtunity. 16 years old, my family moved out west. I stayed in the midwest in "foster" type care, because of my rebelious ways (which I can understand, i was a bad kid). One year later, I got the call that my parents, were "seperating" even tho I was always expecting it, actually hearing it broke me in half. I knew it was my fathers fault, for being so emotionally empty to my mother for so many years. I couldnt bare it. I told my mom I wanted to move with her, I HATED my father at this time. She told me she couldnt handle me at that time, and my dad would be moving back to take care of me. I will never forget the day he showed up at my high school. After a year of seeing him, a couple months of knowing it was HIS fault they split, I hated him. They were "separated", with the hopes of working things out. But my mother let him know 5 months later she wanted a divorce. During this time, I rarely went to class, was pretty deep into drugs. I would come home to see my dad a complete depressed man. I had no feelings towards him, I would see his tears, and felt no remorse, I felt it was his fault, that things turned out this way. We pretty much ignored eachother for a year, as the divorce took place. During this time, I'd fly out west to visit my mom. After a few months, I met moms new bf. First instinct, I was mad at her for even considering having another man in her life. It didn't matter I hated my father during this time, all I knew was OUR family. And saw him interferring. After a year, of getting to know him, I accepted him. I saw he truley cared for my mother, and me. And she would ask me not to tell my father. I would return home, and have to hide pictures of her and her new bf. She didnt want my dad to know about her new relationship. This brings us to last summer. At 21 years old, I was living with my moms bf's son and daughter in law (moved out here last summer). I lied to my dad for a good 4 months saying I was staying with a "friend of moms". I finally broke one night, called my mom and told she HAD to call my dad and tell him what was going on. She agreed. And never in my life had I felt any more guilty than that night. Ages 17-21. First year I hated my dad for "breaking up our family" until I realized, my parents were better off without eachother. Those 4 years with my dad, I grew to become his best friend. I finally put aside my ignorance, and realized he came back for ME. He came back to take care of me, and patch up what was left of our relationship. He has changed SO much over these years, its remarkable. Not only did he turn into a #1 dad, he turned into my best friend. It takes a real man to deal with his own sorrow, and at the same time know that his kids are #1 in his life. If my parents hadnt divorced I dont think me and my father would ever had the relationship we do now, and I thank god for that. Thing is, Iv'e been living with my mother for the past year. And in a week I will be moving in with her bf's family for a month, to film a movie. Iv'e been struggling with after the movie. Either to move back to my homestate, or stay out here. I miss my dad, I miss my friends like crazy, but I feel like I can really conquer my future out here. My mother is moving in with her bf (of 6-7 years now) in a couple weeks, and my father has no idea. He has only dated twice since their divorce. Iv'e tried, up and down to help him meet someone. And it kills me that he has no idea my mother is moving in with this guy. I told her she HAS to tell him, because I cant. I cant bare myself to tell him this. Its been almost 8 years since their divorce and it still feels like yesterday. My mother to this day, still says my dad is her "soulmate". That they will always be friends, but I feel so guilty. My moms bf is a great guy, and loves her to death. I will never be able to call him "dad", but I know he's good for her. Why do I feel so guilty for this? I'm so worried about my dads feelings right now its crazy. He doesnt know yet that she's moving in with him (and will soon be marrying him). I'm so torn right now. I feel like im still to this day, taking sides and i shouldnt. I'm happy my mother is happy, but Im so hurt I still feel like my father is alone. He's a very good looking man. Great sense of humor, smart, witty etc. But he WONT move on. He wont date, he wont even try, why? I dont fee like I'll feel ok with this until they have both moved on. I know in my heart, my dad still wishes things could of worked out. And as much as I know he has changed, I mean complete 360, my mom doesnt. I want my mom to go forth with this marriage if this is what is going to make her happy, but I cant bare to see my dad in pain. Any advice, opinions, would be greatly appreciated, thanks.
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