I'm sick of everything

[xmrth]

I NEEEEEED to move out, I NEEED to, I don't know how it's going to work, but I HAVE to get the hell out of here.

 

I don't know if I'll be more miserable because I'll be struggling terribly.. come to think of it, I don't even know if I can afford it in the first place.

 

I don't even know where to begin. I'm sick of everything. I hate my life, I'd rather be dead than this miserable living at home. I hate this so much.

 

A few more years, maybe 4 more, is going to be a waste by dealing with it. I can't live on campus because that's actually more expensive and is more for location to the college than anything else.

 

I feel so stupid saying all of this but I don't know where to turn. I feel like some troubled teenager but I'm not-- not in the least. I'm so so miserable.

 

I know people have it worse just from things I hear around, and I don't know how they deal with it... I have no idea. I can't stand the things going on at home with my family--- I mean, just as an example, and not even the "best" one I have, I have to worry about my things when I leave. I just left to grab a coffee, not even 10 minutes, and I come home and crap is PIILED in my room. PILED. Like anything my mother could find of mine in those 10 minutes, she piled in my room. You'd think it's things that should be in there, and it's far from it!

 

That's not even it; it's worse-- that was just the last straw and what finally set me off again. It's all too much to get into.

 

I'm sorry I have no clue who to go to about this. I know what it sounds like; I'm not troubled youth.

What do you do; I can't suck it up any longer, it's such a waste. I'm just miserable... wasting my life away-- I don't know what else to say. Sorry if you think I'm silly from this. You can think I am.. I know it probably sounds stupid. It's actually embarrassing to get into because I feel like I'm too old to be having this problem.

 

I'm the broke college student living at home. I work, have saved a good amount of money, but when I go back... I'm not even getting home until 6-9pm at night most nights and I'll be working weekends. No cash flow... feels like no way out.

 

Martha

[renaissancewoman101]

I feel for you. My mom can be like that, constantly getting in my way about things, wanting everything done HER way, etc. Consequently, I went off the college 2000 miles away. Even now when I go home for a few days (which is rare), my mom nitpicks at me about what I wear, eat, do, keep in my old room, etc. As a result, even though I now live ONLY 2 hours by car, from them, I still dont see them as often as I should.

 

Is there any way you can take out a student loan or two so you can afford to live on campus and not feel like your life is an endless treadmill of school, work, and mother? It would help your self-esteem and your sanity.

[rose2summer]

Are there any scholarships/grants you can look into that will pay for housing costs, there were at my school, and I made full use of them. See what is out there because you may want to move out. I moved back home after 7hrs of living on my own to help with a sick family member and I will tell you it's tough, I have an 8pm curfew, yes I am 25, and they really keep tabs on me here, but I am serving my purpose and will move back out ASAP. I know it's difficult but seriously look into scholarships or maybe get a part-time jobs to pay the bills.

[renaissancewoman101]

Rose2summer, you have an 8 PM curfew??? and you are 25????

 

Ouch!!!

 

Looking into scholarships is also a good idea.

[maynards_razorblade69]

yeah i get that too. it's * * * *. i'm 17 and it's already driving me crazy! my parents pile so much onto me, expect so much of me and it's so hard to live up to. so i go round my friends houses, they ban my friends from being here, then they have a go because i'm never here. they think i hate them, and yes i wanna move out, but i can't, and they know this. anyway, sorry to hear bout it all.

[maasikus]

wow...my heart goes out for you....but maybe you can *talk* to ur folks about the situation???

 

If it is not gonna work, u r way better off on ur own...try to look for some grants...or get a roommate....

 

Hope things work out for ya

 

maasikus

[maasikus]

Are there any scholarships/grants you can look into that will pay for housing costs, there were at my school, and I made full use of them. See what is out there because you may want to move out. I moved back home after 7hrs of living on my own to help with a sick family member and I will tell you it's tough, I have an 8pm curfew, yes I am 25, and they really keep tabs on me here, but I am serving my purpose and will move back out ASAP. I know it's difficult but seriously look into scholarships or maybe get a part-time jobs to pay the bills.

 

8 pm curfew

wow...thats something!!

[BrokenWingedFaery]

Find a roommate.

 

The bottom line here is that if you leave now, you're probably gonna be living in roachland apartments with people of dubious tolerability.

 

Having said that, I can totally understand why you'd want to leave and good luck in doing so.

[xpress]

Don't give up...it will get better. And, you are so right...some people DO have it tons worse. I'm sending good vibes your way...

[xmrth]

Thanks so much. I picked up a book of apartments in my state and surrounding states, and I don't think it will work. I kind of knew it wouldn't but now I know for sure. During school I'm only making 500-600 dollars a month, and 200-300 dollars of that is going towards car insurance and a loan I have to pay now all each month... and splitting with roommates would cost too much for me still.

 

Living on campus is really the best solution but I'd be spending even more than anything else, and being crammed with 4-5 other people that I know I won't like. I'm at an art college, and though the people are nice, they're just so... floofy it would drive me nuts to *live* with them haha. So that just kind of tops it off; who knows if I'd be driven just as crazy or not.

 

It feels like these situations are "I could but I can't" kind of things, or "I could but I won't," and I hate to admit it. The hole at home keeps getting deeper and deeper though, that's for sure.

[xpress]

Look for counseling on campus. I think you need to find someone who can be a physical presense. Somebody to give you concrete, objective alternatives and support. On campus services offer this type of thing for either free or at a very small price. Often, these services are on a pay scale basis, depending on how much you can afford. And don't be concerned...so many students and people your age need this sort of direction, so you will surely get some good, grounding ideas from these folks. Feeling alone compounds the hurt so reach out and look for someone to listen.

 

Is living on campus completely out of the question? It may be worth just a try...'floofy' may be annoying but there are good people out there...even among the 'floofy' ones! Sure, you may not like all your roommates but there is bound to be 'someone'. The experience of living communally in university is like no other. Try it. If it does not work out you can always go back home, no?

 

I wish you all the best. You are just on the cusp of starting your life independently. So much is out there for you. Don't be alarmed by the tugs and pulls of growing. Trust the feelings...go with the nerves and fly high! I am rooting for you!