Jekyll and Hyde Cant bear it

[SadScot]

I am in an abusive relationship.

I have been with the man for a year. When we met I was with someone else and it took time for me to leave, but I did it. I made the break in January.

The man I am with now has problems and he left me after rows, one time (the first time) a week after I had moved into his house. he was adamant it was over despite my pleas and told me to go. I had nowhere else to go and went back to my ex.

 

Now, nearly a year later he still hasn't been able to move on. I had an abortion last year (his child) because I couldn't bear bringing a child up with such an unpredictable man. He cant forgive me for that either. I got pregnant before evidence of his abusive, controlling personality came to light because I was head over heels and because I met his three fantastic kids. I am 36 and never been pregnant before

 

I had my problems too but I got counselling for them. I made the decision to move on with my life and not keep going back to my ex, but he cant. He has called me a Removed by moderator>, a slag and worse. He has been physically abusive three times. He is so angry.

 

It is like Jekyll and Hyde. He can be so sweet. So loving. ](*,) He has admitted his behaviour is abusive and has actively tried to seek help.

 

I know his background intimately. His first wife was abusive, unfaithful, denying him sex, hitting him with household objects, tormenting him when he was trying to sleep, not allowing him access to their son. That was over twenty years ago. He married a few years later but the marriage didn't work out. His ex wife was extremely moody and used to threaten to stab him with knives. He also has livid scars on his arm from where she raked her nails on it. She affirmed this herself.

 

I know none of this excuses his behaviour. I know I should probably leave. I have already told him that I cant fix him, that he has to make the choice to move on, to forgive me or let me go. I love him and I want to help him but I cant be treated like this for much longer. he constantly accuses me of texting my ex and wont let me go anywhere on my own without causing a row. He says I am not trustworthy, whereas I know I am. I trust him completely with other women. He is at a wedding today so I went for a walk. It felt wonderful. I know this is not normal.

Anyone else been in the situation? I would really appreciate your help.](*,)

[yeawutever]

You're right, even if he was abuse by his ex wife, which indeed her behavior is no unexcusable, it still wouldn't excuse him for abusing you. Get out now, he's using this as a retaliation against women, esp. that ex who did this to him before. Leave him and don't look back, he even told you that himself.

[nottoogreen]

Hi SadScot,

 

IMHO, you want to get away of that guy.

 

Another story (of a guy): In love with your abuser

[Beyondthesea]

Anyone else been in the situation?

 

*Raises hands* Here I am! I was there for almost 7 years. I walked and have never been happier in my life. It was the more horrifying experience of my life.

 

I was severely abused as well...physically, emotionally, thrown out of his place, had no one to turn to, etc.

 

How did I do it? I woke up one day and said to myself "Life doesn't have to be this way." After that, I began planning for my escape. I put away money, put away clothes, etc into a suitcase in case I needed to leave in a hurry. I put up motivating quotes around (my fav: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent).

 

Besides this, you MUST tell someone what is going on so that they can assist you if you need them. It's hard but it's the best thing you can do...sorry to say, the odds of an abuser becoming homicidal towards you in a bought of rage is VERY high.

 

The Jekkle and Hyde thing you describe is exactly what abuse is all about. You wait to see if things will permanently change for the good...they will not, guaranteed.

 

I had left a few times, each time he begged and pleeded and pretended that he would change. He went to counseling, anger management, abuse intervention, etc then came home and abused me. This is how I can guarantee to you there is no changing an abuser, period.

 

Life does NOT have to be this way, and the choice is yours. By the time I left, I was so mentally and physically exhausted and ill that I didn't even recognize myself anymore. I was a very strong person, and was broken down into fragments of my former self.

 

Point blank: you have the choice, choose wisely.

[Aurian]

Anyone else been in the situation? I would really appreciate your help.](*,)

 

Me too. I fell in love with Dr Jekyell. He remained sweet and loving for two years and I married him. A few months later, Hyde showed up. Hyde started hanging around more and more, until I only saw a few flashes of Jekyll. But those glimpes of Jekyll kept me trying, trying, trying, in the hopes Jekyll would stay. Hyde always came back and at the most unpredictable times. Hyde also got worse and worse.

 

First he used guilt, telling me I wasn't loving enough, wasn't caring enough, etc, and I worked my butt off trying to be a good wife to him. I was more like a slave really, but it still wasn't good enough. When I started to feel angry about the guilt, he switched tactics.

 

He threatened to divorce me. He even threatened divorce when I made a comment about a soccer game we were watching together, that he didn't like! He screamed at me about how stupid I was and stormed off. I was crying and couldn't understand what I said wrong. It eventually got to the point were I was miserable and unhappy. I was like, "If I'm such a piece of , then go ahead and divorce me!"

 

So when that no longer worked, he threatened to kill himself. He would wave a knife in my face and threaten to kill himself if I wasn't more loving, if I didn't cut my family out of my life. He also got destructive. He destroyed my artwork ("accidently" of course, but just happened to happen whenever we had a fight). He ripped up our wedding pictures, calling them lies because I was so "sick and insane." He broke things and called me numerous bad names. When I said I did not like it; that they made me feel sh*tty and worthless, he would respond that I WAS sh*tty and worthless and deserved them too.

 

But after every incident, I forgave him and got a little bit of Jekyll again.

 

But the last straw came when he "divorced" me yet again and stormed off (because I was "emotional and selfish" when I said I didn't like it when HE was being rude, ignoring me and then called me disgusting)! He flipped out over stupid tiny things all the time towards the end and I was slowly having enough. He emailed me with a loooooong list of things that were wrong with me and demands. I was pretty much fed up by then with crying and being blamed for everything thing that was wrong in our lives and for imaginary paranoid things too.

 

I calmly sent an email back, clearly telling him that either WE work on the problems OUR marriage has TOGETHER, or it was over. He showed me what was really important to him. It was not me, it was not our marriage. It was his anger that was most important and he verbally abused me for pages and pages and pages for having the nerve to make demands on him, when everything was "my" fault.

 

I filed for divorce the next day.

 

I bent over backwards for this man. I went to counselling for the problems he insisted I had (emotional, sick, insane). My counseller worked on my self-esteem instead, because I was none of those. I was the one trying to create intimacy, while he destroyed gifts, laughed at me when I tried to be intimate with him and jumped all over me if I looked at him wrong. I forgave him again and again, while he refused to forgive me for ANYTHING that happened - he was even angry about the fact that 5 years ago, he was "forced" to ask me out since I was too selfish to ask him out first.

 

Abusive people want someone to look down on. No matter how hard I worked, there was always something new for him to blame me for, so he could continue to look down on me. And he had to try very hard to make things he could blame me for, because I had much more success in life than he did. I finally learned that Jekyll was a lie. He would never stay, because it was just a mask that Hyde wore.

 

End it. He will never change. He is just manipulating you when he says he is abusive. It makes you think he will change, eh? But he isn't changing. He wants to be abusive. It makes him feel good.

[Beyondthesea]

Abusive people want someone to look down on. No matter how hard I worked, there was always something new for him to blame me for, so he could continue to look down on me. And he had to try very hard to make things he could blame me for, because I had much more success in life than he did.

 

Exactly. My situation as well to a tee. It's sick and sad and repetitive. Honestly, it's hard to believe these problems are even real. Could you ever be so mean and cruel to someone else? I know I couldn't. That's the thought that kept me on the way out the door.

 

I also used to get reprimanded for all my 'wrongdoings' when i wasn't doing anything wrong! "If only you had done/not done/would be more/ then I wouldn't have hit you/hurt you/abused you/made you cry." Interesting how that works.

[sonjam]

Anyone else been in the situation?

 

*raises hand* Me too girl. A lot of us have been there, and managed to get out in time. I was with him for 2 years and the physical abuse only started after the first year... and not that often but the emotional abuse was far worse. You walk on eggshells all day, you are not trusted and your self esteem is broken down to the point where you cannot even dare to breathe without his permission.

 

Bet thing for you is to get out, and get your life back. It's yours to take. Of course you feel love for this guy, he made sure you would!!! It's all part of the manipulation and abuse. You will only realise once you are out, how wrong you were about the love part, you are not feeling love, what you are feeling is an addiction. We are here to talk and help, give advice and support you when you are ready!

[Aurian]

Exactly. My situation as well to a tee. It's sick and sad and repetitive. Honestly, it's hard to believe these problems are even real. Could you ever be so mean and cruel to someone else? I know I couldn't. That's the thought that kept me on the way out the door.

 

I also used to get reprimanded for all my 'wrongdoings' when i wasn't doing anything wrong! "If only you had done/not done/would be more/ then I wouldn't have hit you/hurt you/abused you/made you cry." Interesting how that works.

 

At the time though, you don't think of how stupid these things are that the abuser is getting upset over. You think you're dealing with a rational person. You think there is a reason for the anger or the harsh words. You blame yourself for not acting well enough or saying the right thing. After all, you fell in love with a rational, loving person no? He loves you right? (wrong, but that's what you tell yourself)

 

It is not rational. You are dealing with a person who after winning you, now looks at you as a punching bag, or someone to dump on constantly and compete against. If he makes you feel bad, he wins. If he makes you cry, he wins. If he scares you, he wins. There is nothing rational in that person.

[Beyondthesea]

There is nothing rational in that person.

 

That's exactly true. I had thought I was dealing with someone normal, because up until the abuse started, he seemed normal!

[SadScot]

Hi everyone,

 

Thanks for your your comments. I was truly shocked by your replies, they make me realise how deep I am in it with this man. It wont be easy to leave because I am not in my home town and I have no home as such to go to. But I have been taking steps. I have money put away and a bag permanently packed.

 

I have also accepted that if I am going to leave, I have to take a stand so that I am not tempted to go back. So I have started challenging him when he gets out of line. I have got past the point of fear, so what is there to lose? The last time he ranted at me I said "What are you achieving by this? You are a sad, sick person. Do you want to be happy? I do. Its really simple, either you move on and we move on, or you dont and we wont." He backed down.

 

I know this wont change anything in him, but it makes me feel just that little bit stronger

 

Yesterday he asked me for the rings back (rings we bought each other, chucked at me YET AGAIN in an argument) . We were going on a day trip and I guess he wanted to look the part. When I said no he said "Right thats it I'm not going." It was an hour before our train. I got mad, stormed upstairs and put his ring down on the. He asked me to put it on his finger. I said "What?"

He said "Dont you think its symbolic?"

 

I said very coldly, "Dont talk to me about symbolic when you chuck the F***ing rings at me every five minutes. Now put the damn ring on."

 

He said "Its symbolic because it means a lot to me" I said "Dont make me laugh". Again he backed down, said he was sorry, asked if we could just have a nice day. I said fine.

 

There was another incident when his temper threatened to flare up again. Again I went cold and fearless. Again he apologised. I have called him a scared little boy, and sick in the head. I have told him he neednt bother with his c**p because I am not scared of him anymore. I can see him for what he is and have made sure that no matter how much he protests to the contrary we both know he has a choice to behave like this.

 

Each time, previous to the above, he has tried anything abusive (verbal abuse, threatening to break my stuff, ordering me out of the house) I have replied by saying "That's abusive" or "Oh, doing that again? How original" I wouldn't recommend sarcasm at all, but it works, or is so far.

 

You will be asking why I bother. Well I was like him once. Controlling, suspicious, destructive. I was unhappy and my partner then was no saint but I shouldnt have been with him. He wasn't abusive, just thoughtless and weary of my behaviour. So I know how my partner feels. I did after all lie to him while I was trying to leave my ex.

 

And it is no justification for abuse in any way. All I can say is I am more explicit about boundaries and what will and wont be tolerated now than ever before. I know none of it is my fault and I'm not so scared to leave any more, whereas it was unthinkable before.

 

Thank you all for your advice. I still have hope. I am not so naive as to think I can change him but I want to make him understand that if he has trust issues he better work them out somewhere else, or we are over. I am the best thing that ever happened to him and he knows he would regret it if I left.

[Beyondthesea]

Honey, it's not trust issues. It's the fact that he's a walking issue.

 

Trust me, I wasted so many years...it sickens me now. I was thinking about it yesterday actually, wishing I had walked many years earlier. Why on Earth did I stay so long and waste so many years of my beautiful life? Sadly, the choice is always ours.

 

By the end, I was also doing what you are doing...being sarcastic and uncaring, because I just didn't care anymore. I hoped he would leave, but of course he wouldn't. He needed me to continue his sick little cycle, and of course yours needs you as well.

 

He sees you are hanging on by a thread, and that's why he does the "can't we just have a nice day" routine after he has started an argument with you.

 

Remember, you don't need this and you can escape if you choose.

[Aurian]

You sound like a strong person, but in the end, we can only help people who want to be helped themselves. I don't know if that man wants to be helped. He might be a bit cowed by these new tactics right now, but I think he'll be back.

 

Lest you end up trying to fix him forever and trapped in forcing him to act right, I think you should at least set a time limit. Can he improve in say 2 months? Half a year? If you still have to scold him, or if he scares you again, I would give it up as a lost cause.

 

I second beyondthesea, I thought if I just tried hard enough, mine would love me again. I wish I left earlier though, I should have left the first time he broke things or called me nasty names instead of working through the fight constructively. I feel angry that I "wasted" five years with him sometimes.

[SadScot]

Oh you are all so right!

 

Last night he came home early and I was on this site. I tried to get out of it but not fast enough. He thought I was messaging my ex (as if) and all hell broke loose. He hit me not once but twice accross the face, shoved me, threw things at me. I said I was going. He tore my room apart and started shoving everything into plastic bags. I stayed strong and said I wasn't scared of him and he said the usual, did I want him to REALLY punch me, kill me etc. There were the usual verbal abuse rants but that stuff just washes off me now.

It was 11.30 at night and he was trying to throw me out with all my stuff. When I said I would go he wouldn't unlock the door.

 

A cycle began of stay/go. I was rational and he wasn't. I realised he would say anything. The stuff he was coming out with was unbelievable, contradicting himself, till I realised there was no point in discussing it. I was exhausted from trying to protect myself and my possessions while he insisted he was sorry and he hoped I would stay.

 

You know, the usual emotional blackmail. I was so tired I said I would so he went to bed while I sat among a pile of bin bags and cried and cried.

 

I have realised I was just kidding myself. That although I am strong this will break me if it goes on for much longer. That this relationship is worthless and I deserve to live my life as I choose.

 

You know where he is this morning? Counselling. I want to laugh hysterically. I called a nice couple I know who used to take in lodgers but they dont anymore. I need a place to stay. I wanted it to be in Edinburgh but I think thats out of reach right now ( I am in the north east). I am going to try and find all the contact numbers for shelters for women. Storage for my stuff and so on.

 

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP. I REALLY NEED IT.

As of this morning my eyes are well and truly open. Yesterday I loved him, today I realise its all just a big self-delusion and whatever I thought I was clever in doing, you ladies have been there and done it first.

 

I will try my damndest. I deserve a life lived safely and on my own terms.

[Beyondthesea]

Good girl. I'm so sorry he found you on here and had such an outburst thought.

 

Hilarious the counseling thing isn't it? That's how they try to prove they've changed overnight. oh brother. mine went to anger management, abuse intervention and personal counseling and nothing worked...why? Because they don't want it to in my opinion.

 

Overall, I'm so happy you are coming to the realization this isn't going to work, ever.

 

I just want to make sure you know what you're up against: he will cry, beg, plead, swear he's changed (and pretend for brief moments) then his true colors will show through when he's frustrated with you.

 

He will follow you and phone you and email and bother you, hoping to change your mind. DON'T BOTHER. I went back and it never changed, only for about a week then it would all be a rerun.

 

keep posting. He'll really mess with your head right now. Do NOT contact him for any reason. If you need to get things from the house, be escorted by male friends. NEVER GO WITH HIM ANYWHERE ALONE. Now is the time he is even more potentially dangerous.

[Aurian]

I'm so sorry that he did this to you. But these abusers never change their spots

 

We're proud of you for realizing that you deserve a hell of a lot better and that you're looking out for yourself. Remember that he won't change. Mine sent me love letters, promised to go to counselling (the last one didn't work, the counselor I was paying for told me that he said he was just fine the way he was, thank you very much), and was begging and pleading for me to stay with the "moron." But I know how this works. He'll make me feel like sh*t and then tell me he loves me. Then once he has me "back", he'll go back to treating me badly again. He never changed, so I don't believe this stuff either.

 

Good for you for looking for a shelter and taking care of yourself!

 

We're here for you, keep us posted. And if you feel uncertain or lost, post here!

[sonjam]

SadScot, I'm so glad that you are at the point now where you finally "SEE"!!

 

It's still a hard road to travel to acutally get out of there, and get rid of him, but I believe in you, I know you can do it. You deserve it and owe it to yourself.

 

No he's not going to change. He never will. Mine also went for councilling, went on meds, etc etc, begged, pleaded sent flowers and cards, professed his love for me in front of friends, and from mountains and rooftops.... but it's all for show. People that don't know what's going on told me "OOOhh he loves you so much, you are a cute couple etc etc, " If only they knew!

 

Don't let yourself be fooled. Pick up the newspaper, lots of people advertise rooms available, b&b's and furnished flats. Just take the first step!

[DN]

Scottish Women's Aid 0131-221-0401 (Edinburgh)

 

also

 

extract from link removed

[candy604]

you have to leave him, i think he needs time to heal and seek alot more help. Probably living with abusive women has changed his eventually told him, " its okay that i can be like this since they treat me like this." Take him to anger managment class etc..and none of it is your fault and he should not be calling you degrading names ( not good for your self-esteem for sure).

 

my dad calls my mom names, horrible ones and i tell her to ignore it now and i get mad at my dad b/c he just crazy sometimes ( brought up in an emotionally abusive family).

 

If you want it to work, you BOTH need to go to counselling for couples. There are effective ways to deal with anger etc..

[SadScot]

Thanks for all your comments and support everyone.

 

After that latest one, the next few days were amazing but I still was on my guard. There have been a few episodes where he could have lost the rag but didn't, however I didn't alow that to detract from any other dodgy behaviour (controlling etc).

After he came back from the counsellor he drew up a contract promising not to hit me again, or chuck my stuff.

 

He has so far kept this agreement. His condition, however, was that I dont lie to him about anything.

 

And I haven't except that he has been creating situations where he asks me things about my past (ie men) and then accuses me of lying about it! It doesn't matter how much I protest that this was WAY before him and has nothing to do with him, he keeps on with his rants,

mostly comprising phrases like

"Can you explain yourself?"

and "Tell me why you lied? Just tell me why"

 

Just last night everything was going fine (but doesn't it always?) he had been to the counsellor and said that he was able to let go and trust me now, that none of the past mattered, that we were going to be amazing.

 

God he is so believable when he does this!

 

I was relaxed enough to say I was replying to my friend who said she was going to see a play by an ex of mine. I said I might see her when I was next in Edinburgh.

He gave me a look that made my stomach hit the floor, shook his head and said "You're unbelievable".

 

When I asked what he meant he said that I'd manipulated him into "letting" me go to Edinburgh on my own and now I couldn't wait to see my friends, even though I was supposed to be getting straight back on a train (I'd said this when we were discussing it, thrilled at the progress we were supposedly making) He said "Are you ashamed of me, is that it?" I was very hormonal and was very very upset, crying my eyes out with him standing over me saying "can you tell me why?" Eventually he left me alone.

 

I feel betrayed, confused and violated. I dont trust anything he says anymore.

I called a domestic violence helpline for support, just a friendly voice to get me through the dark hours.

 

This morning he had the cheek to say that he couldnt stand the melodrama and I shouldn't behave like that. I didn't say anything but you can imagine how I was feeling

 

I have been thinking a lot about my life. About the choices I have made. How my mum died when I was seventeen and how my dad was useless and told me to move out shortly after. I spent the next 18 years seeking love and security in father figures instead of looking out for number one and getting myself a house.

 

What is worst is the illusion of progress, with the talking and what feels like genuine communication and affection, and then Mr Hyde appears and I feel undermined, miserable and nothing is real anymore. He does make me feel crazy.

 

I have been throwing out loads of stuff and am now going to phone for advice (as he is out) When I leave I want the transition to be on my terms so I am not tempted to go back.

 

Thanks for reading this everyone.

[Aurian]

Ugh... the jerk. If he couldn't threaten you anymore, he would undermine you instead. Mine did the same to me, I'm afraid. He was paranoid to the extreme and would scream at me for hours about something I didn't even do. Every time I told him he was wrong, I wasn't doing it, he swore I was lying and yelled at me some more.

 

And he has the nerve to tell me that I was abusing HIM.

 

It really hurts when they do this. They twist you until you're a mess, and then they use your messy state as proof that there is something wrong...

 

I'm so sorry you have to go through this... hang in there and get somewhere safe soon...

[sonjam]

I know how desperately you wanted him to improve, to change, to be better. We all do.And I know you had to go through this too so you could see for yourself there is nothing normal or healthy about him. He will always want to be in control, and Mr Hyde is woven too tightly into mr Jekyll for them to ever be two different people. It will always be that way. Some of us find the strenth to leave and stay away sooner, others know they need to leave but can't find the strenth in them to do so for awhile yet. We understand and support you, and we will be here when you are finally ready to let go.

 

It is the hardest thing in the world, to let go of your abuser, who has you convinced that you are nothing without them, that you will not be able to survive, and that they will not let you go. The manipulation is the worst, the begging, crying, promisses, love etc. It is not an easy decision. You have to resolve and harden your heart, look to your own future and be determined. Plan and plot it, and stick to the plan.

 

Eventually we all see they cannot understand logic, so trying to make them see WHY is like trying to get blood from a stone. NEGOTIATION is not on the cards.

 

I hope you find your strenth soon, if you need any help with planning or making your resolve stronger, we are here to help you through!

[candy604]

i'm worried for you, he better not hit you again and act so crazy. You are not married so just get out of this relationship if he continues to be abusive. You don't need to suffer someone else's problems or abuse towards you. There are many many men out there that are sweet, caring and don't have violent behaviours. Don't continue to be a victim of one!

[candy604]

abuser's manipulate the victim slowly, making them think they are so lucky to have " the abuser" and they are no one without them. Careful girl!

[nottoogreen]

Well, if you look up her profile, she has not logged in since 8-18-2006.

[SadScot]

Thanks everyone, i wish I could say that I am well out of it but I'm not. I feel stupid and weak and my strength is failing me at the moment.

His behaviour aside, I have been coming off my old depression medication in order to try a new one and it makes even more edgy and depressed.

 

Here is what has been happening. He worked out that if he doesnt eat every two hours his mood plummets and he gets irrational.

 

Things have been okay for quite a while now, no major incidents,

except for the last time I was in Edinburgh, when he was really nasty to me over the phone.

 

I bumped into the woman I know who takes in lodgers and she said if I was still looking for a place it woudl probably be okay. I kept this in mind and about three weeks or so, after him being unbearable again, I called her. She said she would call me back when she knew dates and so on.

 

Mostly I regard the situation as bearable, just him being grumpy and me trying not to take much notice, just making sure he eats

which I think now is a mistake as it makes ME responsible for his mealtimes because I cant stand his moods!

 

Yesterday too much time went by without him eating and he asked why did I keep mentioning this guy, did I fancy him or what. I knew instantly what was happening and tried to stay calm but he was up and ranting. I was upset and crying but I figured if I just did what I usually did he would come back and apologise.

 

We are supposed to be moving houses so are living in a sea of boxes which doesnt help my state of mind.

 

I was upstairs when he came up with my phone and says "Who's (name of woman who takes in lodgers)" I told him and he got really nasty. Asking me why I lied (ie omitted to tell him I met her) i said how long did he expect me to go on being continually threatened with homelessness and that it was HIS FAULT.

 

He threw a plastic bottle at me which hit me on the leg and has left a purple bruise. I threw it back at him. He pushed me back on the bed and I bumped my head on the wall. It isthe first time in months he has laid a finger on me. I said he could save his breath calling me all the things he normally calls me, b~~~h, w+++e, I was going. I dont want ot be the one staying in an abusive relationship.

 

Its why I haven't posted...I wanted to believe everything was okay. He was going out and said "Do you have anything more to say" I said no. He went out and when he came back in later I didn't say a word. neither did he. TOday he had to go out early.

He is doing that behaviour where he withdraws and gets ready for being left. I cant stand it. He has all the power and he knows it.

I feel crazy and stupid saying this but if he asked me to stay I would.

yet teh other part of me feels that she has the RIGHT to feel safe and there shouldn't have to be this constant feeling of watching what I say and do.

 

In my present state going back into the world again as a single, mentally ill woman is unbelievably frightening, yet the longer I stay with him the more he will think it okay to treat me like this, finding stupid justification for his behaviour. And I know I will find it even harder to leave.

 

PLEASE HELP ME STAY STRONG. I FEAR FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH IF I STAY, if I could leave right now I would but all my stuff is here and this woman says her house isnt available till the 20th November.

 

Why the hell do I feel like this? I always swore I would never stay with someone abusive. Its incredible the excuses we make for appalling behaviour in the name of "love".

 

Thank you for reading this.