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I'm going to EXPLOOOOOODE!


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Alright first I just have to apologize for even bringing myspace into this. I HATE it when I come here and see myspace thrown into a post. No offense to anyone here. Sorry. Anyway, I posted a blog on myspace that simply stated that I got into a nursing program. Well, I honestly had NO IDEA that my ex was reading my blogs. Last time I talked to him he treated me like I was scum of the earth and wanted nothing to do with me. Ever since we broke up (he left me for someone else over a year and a half ago) he's NEVER contacted me first. If there ever was any contact I was the one who initiated it. Well, you can imagine my shock and absolute HORROR to find a message from him in my inbox today. My heart rate dropped and then shot up! His message was as follows:

 

"Hey you. Just read that you're going to nursing school. Just wanted to say that I'm really happy for you. I hope that you find something that makes you happy. Haven't talked to in a while either=P.Hope everything is fine and going well. Send me a message sometime. I miss talking to you about random stuff. Take care of yourself!"

 

To which I replied (remember I wasn't thinking clearly. All the blood was in my feet!):

 

"Are you drunk? Look. I'm not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to protect myself. Don't ever message me again. I'm glad to know that things are going well for you. Glad to know that you're alive and all that goodness. But you just completely ruined my day. Take care of yourself."

 

I miss talking to you about random stuff? * * *? The last time I talked him (about a year ago. I was trying to get something worked out with him) he was short and rude and then ignored me. And if that message that I sent back wasn't bad enough I'm trying SOOOOOO hard not to send something else. I've built up a dam to keep my emotions from him and then he sends me that message and knocks it down. I'm trying so hard to divert the waters from him. Jeeze! Talk about ripping a wound wide open! I'm so MAD because I still love him too much. What an ***. I don't know. Something just seems fishy to me.

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OH! SNAP! (I always wanted to be hip enough to say that )

 

I second Scout... I think that your reply should be bronzed and put into the all-time "Succinct and to the Point Replies to B.S. Messages from Your EX" Hall of Fame!!

 

Anything else that you could say would just diminish the brilliance of that email. And drag you down too.... You are awesome, and NC is the way to go as soon as you hit that send button.

 

When you feel weak, think: "I am Woman, hear me ROAR"

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Quite frankly, I think he knocked on the door and you slammed it in his face. I doubt you could ever keep him, because you want him so desperately. So, that email may be a good thing. But, your staying away seems to have made him miss you, which is probably why he emailed you.

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The guy left her for another woman. I would have slammed the door on his foot.

 

OK, I did not say it had to be a bad thing. Just wanted her to know what she had done.

 

I do think she wrote pretty well, and she was not nasty.

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OK, I did not say it had to be a bad thing. Just wanted her to know what she had done.

 

I got the impression you felt she shouldn't have rejected his overture. If so, my opinion is obviously different, but nevertheless, I've been meaning to say this...welcome back to the boards, Beec! Long time no see.

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I got the impression you felt she shouldn't have rejected his overture. If so, my opinion is obviously different, but nevertheless, I've been meaning to say this...welcome back to the boards, Beec! Long time no see.

 

Thanks. We'll see how long I am active. I like being here, but other things in life take up my time.

 

And, you know, I'd first ask what she wanted and then try to figure out how to deal with his message, normally. But in this case, it's obvious she is and will be emotional about things with him, and that means she cannot control her emotions enough to play him to get him back. That being the case, I'd recommend continuing NC until she could control her emotions, and then I'd want her to know what she wanted them, and to try and get it. She's too emotional to make anything good out of contact with him.

 

And, with regard to this guy, she might always be, and even if she were not, trust may always be an issue.

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Thanks for all the support and laughs guys. You just made my day a little bit better. As far as him missing me? No way. I know he doesn't miss me. As a matter of fact, the first thing I did was check his myspace to see if he had broken up with that hussy and he hadn't. He's still madly in love with her. I think I have a feeling as to why he messaged me and I'm pretty darn sure my intuition is right. It usually is. And my instinct is telling me that he wants to suck me back into his life so that he can let me know how great it is. Like the time he IMed me a loooong time ago so he could intentionally and subtly make it known to me that his girl friend is Russian. So not only is she better than me (according to you) but she's exotic? NICE. Yeah. It was CLASSIC and very, very hurtful. He knew exactly what it would do to me so he did it. I don't know for sure. But I do know that he is not coming back into my life to be nice or because he misses me. Something is up. And if you guys have any ideas as to what else it could be feel free to let me know.

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I disagree. When I read that reply I thought it was quite rude. I think it is always better to take the high road. A simple, short "Thanks for the good wishes" would have sufficed. Regardless of the fact that he left you for someone else, the fact that your email was definitely dripping with hostility showed him that you still really care. Had you responded with a simple "Thanks" it would have shown that you are indifferent and have moved on. This just gave him ammunition to feel smug about himself and to know that he still gets to you. Also, it is quite possible that he was really just wishing you well in your new professional phase of life, with no ulterior motive.

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I disagree. When I read that reply I thought it was quite rude. I think it is always better to take the high road. A simple, short "Thanks for the good wishes" would have sufficed. Regardless of the fact that he left you for someone else, the fact that your email was definitely dripping with hostility showed him that you still really care. Had you responded with a simple "Thanks" it would have shown that you are indifferent and have moved on. This just gave him ammunition to feel smug about himself and to know that he still gets to you. Also, it is quite possible that he was really just wishing you well in your new professional phase of life, with no ulterior motive.

 

You don't know him like I do. You don't know what he put me through. And obviously I could have said worse. And of course I wanted him to know I still hurt. As I said in my original post I was not thinking clearly. Besides I wanted him to know that I'm still hurt and pi**ed and I wanted him to leave me alone. He got the message. He didn't write back. Even if he did get a little satisfaction out of it at least I know I got a little too.

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You don't know him like I do. You don't know what he put me through. And obviously I could have said worse. And of course I wanted him to know I still hurt. As I said in my original post I was not thinking clearly. Besides I wanted him to know that I'm still hurt and pi**ed and I wanted him to leave me alone. He got the message. He didn't write back. Even if he did get a little satisfaction out of it at least I know I got a little too.

 

Don't worry, the truth hurts and he sure heard it today. I bet it embarrassed the hell out of him - and rightfully so! I'm all for taking the high road *most of the time* but sometimes people need to hear a succinct "stay out of my life" to get the message.

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empathy... you are my hero!... lol... that was a fantastic response!... as far as him wanting to shove his life down your throat?... why would he?... what would be the point?... i understand people being cruel to one another when they first break up because emotions run high and he literally was throwing his new g/f in your face (like a little kid)... but now after all this time?... when someone moves on, they move on, if you know what i mean... they become so totally indifferent to everyone but themselves that it truly doesnt even enter their minds to contact anyone... why would they?... do they care?... i dont think so...

 

sure... he wants something... personally i dont think his relationship with his russian girlfriend is that great or he wouldnt be contacting you... usually your so ensconsed with your present relationship that why would you need someone else to fill in the holes?... and also... hes looking on your site... kinda strange isnt it?...

 

he hasnt moved on toots and things are not so peachy with his current g/f... he misses you... just my opinion...

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I think he misses you too and isn't happy with his current relationship. people who are satisfied with their current girlfriend/boyfriend dont email past loves asking to get together sometime.

 

True...but this guy doesn't seem like he can be happy in ANY relationship. Good riddance, I say.

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