Letting a friend down gently

[avman]

He obviously feels quite a bit of anymosity towards her. If he continues this it will surely go there. If he dislikes her, then he should stop talking to her.

 

I think you are misunderstanding my point. I don't have animosity towards her. I have just come to realize that the friendship isn't working and we are different people with much different priorities and outlooks on life. I don't hate her or wish her any ill will. In fact I wish her all the best with her life and I always have wanted that for her.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Just send her packing...but do it nicely....

[avman]

I'm sure it said something about that in the wedding vows.

 

Minister: "Do you (insert name) promise to take any necessary blame to extract (insert name of prospective spouse) from awkward social situations"

 

I'm sure I signed something to that effect for the marriage license.

[avman]

Just send her packing...but do it nicely....

 

Yes, and now you've got the purpose of my post. Trying to get good ideas for doing it nicely.

[Dako]

Avman,

 

I admire your resitance to being dishonest. but this would be white lie territory for me.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yes, and now you've got the purpose of my post. Trying to get good ideas for doing it nicely.

 

Yes, I'm not to sure if you should bring the wife into it, though. It kind of implies she's after you or something. Which is kind of offensive.

 

Just tell her you're really busy with work and family, and don't really have enough time to keep in touch, but good luck in life....something like that.

[Caterina]

If you have a problem with the dishonesty and don't want to hurt her feelings...perhaps you can block her calls, e-mails and ims?

[avman]

Well yes I can certainly just completely ignore her but that wasn't what I wanted to do. I'm not that kind of person that can just slam the door on someone unless they've done something to hurt me. She hasn't done anything wrong, I just don't see the friendship continuing.

 

I'm leaning more toward becoming gradually unavailable and then wishing her well.

[annie24]

hm....

 

have you ever just flat out told her that she has too much negativity in her life?

[brando]

Avman, I can appreciate the sentiment, but is their really a nice way of telling someone you no longer want them talking to you as well as you no longer want to talk to them.????

[annie24]

Avman, I can appreciate the sentiment, but is their really a nice way of telling someone you no longer want them talking to you as well as you no longer want to talk to them.????

 

well... maybe the "jealous wife" thing is the nicest way to go.

 

but maybe someone should tell her she should lighten up?

[avman]

but maybe someone should tell her she should lighten up?

 

You know, I've tried that and told her she seems really bitter about everything. Her response was that she's not bitter about things, just about men. Yet then she'll rant and rave about things soon after that.

 

And no Brando, there probably is no nice way to be direct about it and tell her I don't enjoy being her friend. It sucks, but you are right.

[vandgsmom]

OK, OK.... So somewhere in her faux-rant your wife inserts a reference to John-Wayne Bobbit, and then SHA-BANG! Your not-so-great-of-a-friend is out of the picture, and feels good about it too because she is sparing you from bodily harm...

 

And wouldn't it be nice to have make-up sex with your wife for a fight that wasn't even real in the first place???

[Iceman26]

Avman, I can appreciate the sentiment, but is their really a nice way of telling someone you no longer want them talking to you as well as you no longer want to talk to them.????

 

I agree that there is a nice way of saying you don't want to talk to her, but the way it will be received (given the fact that this woman is bitter and angry) will not go over well, hence my suggestion of not being available to talk. Sooner or later, she will get the hint and quit calling.

 

Having your wife intercede I see as being another option, but I would really use that option as a last resort. No need to get her in the mix unless it is necessary.