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She agreed to see me!


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That's right, everyone, my ex agreed to meet up with me on the 8th. We're going to go see Pirates of the Caribbean, and I think we're going to have a lot of fun. She's slightly concerned that it might be awkward, but I'm not worried about that. She asked if we were going to talk about "things," and I said no, so that made her happy. I plan on keeping things very light between us, acting happy and all that stuff, and I have a feeling that things might be fixable between us. I'm not making any assumptions, but my gut feelings have been right about everything since May, and my gut is telling me that things might be okay between us. Wish me luck, everyone. I'll keep you updated, as always.

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"Things" = our relationship. I promised her a while ago that I wouldn't talk with her about it unless she wanted to, and I intend on keeping that promise. Also, like I said, I'm not going to tell her I want to get back together, nor am I going to tell her how I feel about her. I just want to focus on having a good time with her, like we used to. I want her to have a positive experience when we're together, which I think I'll be able to accomplish if I keep my head.

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Yep! No serious conversations at all! If all goes well, I think she'll be willing to see me more, and after three or four "dates" I'll see if she wants to get back together. The 8th can't come soon enough. In the meantime, I'll keep doing my exercise, weights, and working on my tan. I want to look good when I see her.

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So, did she get in contact with you or did you contact her?

Well, I last spoke to her last Friday, after which I kind of fell of the face of the earth. I'm the one who initiated contact tonight, and our conversation was going exceptionally well when I asked her out, so that may have helped as well. We're still talking, and our conversation is very light and casual, which is how it needs to remain for a while.

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excellent, hope it goes well for you, remember...expect nothing and you will be fine

Luckily, I don't expect anything. I think that when I see her, I'll know one of two things: either we'll be able to start working towards reconciliation, or I'll know for sure that everything is over, and I'll get some closure. I'm hoping for the former, of course, but if everything really is over, I think I'll be able to handle that.

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hey dcmann, best of luck to you. personally, after an enlightening day i've had, i would recommend for you to go expecting to get closure. i now firmly believe that it is best to expect nothing, best to expect that you are going to move forward and not get back together. but again, good luck.

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best of luck.. I shall be thinking of you..and keeping everything crossed that it works out for you..

I too have my 1st meeting with hubby since he left..mine is on Tues...just a coffee....I really nervous...like the others advised its best to try keep expectations low...BUT its hard..I know....

 

i keep hearing of lots of couples sorting out probs at the moment...lots of positive...I read this week..that since WED21 June when the planets have shifted about a bit that this is an excellent time for reconciliations...or getting relationships back on track...just a bit of astrology for you...

it also said that a few weeks around Mar12 2006 was massive for relationship break ups due to the planets been situauted in a funny position or sum at ????

 

oh well..just useless bit of info for you all...

 

lots of love and angel dust...

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Luckily, I don't expect anything. I think that when I see her, I'll know one of two things: either we'll be able to start working towards reconciliation, or I'll know for sure that everything is over, and I'll get some closure. I'm hoping for the former, of course, but if everything really is over, I think I'll be able to handle that.

 

Expect nothing DC - and I mean *nothing*.

Don't even expect to know where this is leading (closure or reconciliation) because you may end up with more questions than answers.

 

See it for what it is at this stage - a meeting with an old aquaintance.

 

Approach the evening as you would any night with a friend. You're going to see a movie with a friend, and have a fun evening. No questions, no interpretation of her behaviour - nothing. At the end of the night you part ways and keep moving on. Your bit will be done - showing her a confident, fun guy....the rest is up to her.

 

Good luck mate.

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Hi Superdave and friends,

 

Just a few days to be a lurker..I recently broke up with my girl friend..Now I am getting private phone calls late at nights.I am suspicious of her that she might check me whether I have another girl or not..I love her and want her back..Should I close my mobile before I sleep or leave it open just to make it sure that I don't have a girlfriend.......

 

Nevruz

Thanks

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Hi Superdave and friends,

 

Just a few days to be a lurker..I recently broke up with my girl friend..Now I am getting private phone calls late at nights.I am suspicious of her that she might check me whether I have another girl or not..I love her and want her back..Should I close my mobile before I sleep or leave it open just to make it sure that I don't have a girlfriend.......

 

Nevruz

Thanks

 

Start a new thread Nevruz - you'll get more advice and your post won't be missed.

 

To answer your question, turn your phone off. Your ex not knowing whether you have someone new is a good thing....it will make her wonder what you are up to and keep her intrigued.

 

If it *is* her calling, the best thing you can do is not give her any security...and that means keeping her 'in the dark' in regards to what you're up to.

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Luckily, I don't expect anything. I think that when I see her, I'll know one of two things: either we'll be able to start working towards reconciliation, or I'll know for sure that everything is over, and I'll get some closure. I'm hoping for the former, of course, but if everything really is over, I think I'll be able to handle that.

 

Don't look for answers or some sort of sign. Just enjoy the movie, share some laughs and leave it at that. Continue to live your life and if you feel like it, give her a call again about a week or two later and ask her to do something again.

 

And I reiterate what everyone else says; don't talk about the relationship. If she brings it up, just reaffirm what she is telling you (called active listening) and delicately change the subject. For example, if she says something about you being too clingy, just say that you see where she got that and you are now enjoying cultivating your own interests and enjoying time with your friends. Be happy, but don't be fake!

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Thanks everyone. I'm looking forward to seeing her, even though there's another guy in her life right now (different from the first one). I don't think they've known each other long, and if she's able to see how happy I am and how much I've changed and all that, this other guy might be in trouble.

 

Anyway, I plan on just having a fun time with her, with no mention of the relationship, the guys she's been dating, or any of that stuff. I kind of have a feeling she expects me to bring that kind of stuff up, and when I don't, she'll probably appreciate that a lot.

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