Down with double standards!!

[CynicalGuitarist]

Yes, they do exist, and are extremely painful for weirdos like me to deal with. Since this topic (and girls in general) has gotten to me as bad (or worse) than it has my teenage years, I've decided to let some frustrations out by listing the double-standards I hate so much... these are just a few examples in no particular order...

 

It is ok to be sensitive when you are a girl. If you are a man, you are expected to walk around acting like you're going to ravage the first guy that looks at you funny. Otherwise, you don't have the animal instinct to protect your mate and your children

 

It's ok if you don't have a car if you are a woman. The man is supposed to pamper her in each and every way possible, so if he has nothing less than a Mustang and drives under 80 mph... he's essentially boring and useless. If he's good looking, however, hey, at least if he can keep ya away from icky public transportation...

 

I'm supposed to be the one to tell a girl how I really feel about her. It's ok if she rejects me because it's always a good excuse. If I don't like a girl romantically, that means I'm shallow and don't deserve to go out with anyone.

 

I'm supposed to treat her like a princess... but when she PMSes and changes moods, I'm supposed to treat her like I'm schizophrenic or something... oh yeah, and girls openly have the right to reject me because I've got problems... riiiiiiight

 

I'm the one that's always wrong; I can't be overly-sensitive or abusive. Well, it's ok for me to be abusive if I am tall and handsome; cause then she'll be too hoodwinked by my physique to stand up for herself.

 

If I'm accused of cheating and taken on some moronic, pro-feminist talk show, be prepared for an ignorant, biased audience to chew the hell outta me. The audience is slanted towards her, so if she hates my guts and wants me to leave her for good, she'll have the backing of several hundred people.

 

If I happen to find a certain girl attractive, it's completely ok for her to be jealous and suspect that I'm shallow. However, if she finds a certain man attractive, I'm not allowed to be suspicious cause then I'd be "oppressive".

 

Its ok to reject me because I'm short. Short men don't have any feelings unless their "hott" or geniuses. Yeah, I really had the ability to choose my height. Hell they even have a right to crack the "short jokes" and reject me based on my height alone. I guess Darwin's "natural selection" works against me, eh?

 

I'm supposed to be a gentleman towards a woman. That means even if she's * * * *ing with my head and trying to flirt with me just to get her boyfriend to whoop my * * *, I'm supposed to still treat her like she's the greatest frickin thing that's ever happened to humanity.

 

Girls love guitar players... yeah, ones that are tall, handsome, and extremely social. Oh it don't matter if he can't even play a Green Day song... If I play anything even remotely out of the punk-pop repritore (unless she's a musical snob, in which she expects no less than a Steve Vai clone) she'll call me a "geek" and "weirdo with no life".

 

Not to mention she has a right to be as "weird" as she wants to. She can listen to all the weirdo pop crap (at least it's weird to me) she wants, but if I even mention one of the abstract cartoons I loved to watch as a kid, she'll kiss my pathetic * * * goodbye... good riddance.

 

Please, if you are a victim to any of these "double standards", join my quest of trying to stomp them out. If you are a woman and think I'm being "offensive", well, you're just proving my point. You just don't understand how hard it is to function being expected to be a tall, handsome, unemotional, charming prince of men and give you all the world on a silver platter. I'm not a chauvenist in any way, but I don't like feminism a bit either. I just want to live my life and maybe have some female companionship... oh well, nevermind, I'm asking for too much again. /end rant.

[Kevin T]

I disagree. You shouldn't put up with **** when she's using you or mistreating you. An example from my own life, these past few weeks, I met someone I grew to like at work. Well, as I got to know her, she became an extremely rude, mean and critical person. I wouldn't stand for that... and as much as I DID like her, now I refuse to even give her the time of day. I learned she was a ***** the hard way, and I won't tolerate that kind of belligerence.

 

And abuse is never okay for either gender. That includes physical, emotional or any other kind of abuse.

[agent1607307371]

I don't see what any of your points about women have to do with feminism.

 

" Well, it's ok for me to be abusive if I am tall and handsome; cause then she'll be too hoodwinked by my physique to stand up for herself."

 

Abusive is never alright. Abusive should always come with it's own stint in a cell.

 

Frankly, if these are the opinions you have about yourself and women, I can understand why they won't go out with you.

[shes2smart]

You just don't understand how hard it is to function being expected to be a tall, handsome, unemotional, charming prince of men and give you all the world on a silver platter.

 

Oh, of course I wouldn't.

 

I'm an overweight, average-looking, logical, grumpy, won't-shut-her-mouth, former tomboy of a female who never fit the ideal I was supposed to live up to when I was a young woman.

 

I still don't.

 

Your rant is justified as is your frustration. However, in many ways, we are all struggling against what society/culture says we should be in order to be who we are. It takes guts, backbone, and a huge set of (insert gender-specific genital reference here) to have the strength to figure out who you are, accept who you are, and be who you are. The advanced lesson is to love who you are, society's judgements be damned.

 

The good news is that it does get easier with age. For me anyway, other people's opinions mattered less and less with each passing year.

 

What doesn't make it easier is holding on to and coming from a place of anger. Oh, sure, I still get pissed off and frustrated that there are people who will look at me and assume I am a junk-food-eating sedentary lump simply because of my size...but I don't let it wreck my day, I don't let it change my behavior, and I don't let them bother me. I know I'm not what they think. I also know that any judgement they pass on me without bothering to get to know me speaks volumes about themselves and their biases, while it says little or nothing about me. They've got every right to have their opinon...I have every right to ignore their opinion.

 

Anger gives you the energy to do something. Whether that "something" is destructive or constructive is up to you. But from my own experiences, I will tell you this...trying to change what other people think is like doing this: ](*,) . I eventually got tired of my head being a bloody pulp (in a figurative sense) and instead channeled that energy into accepting and loving myself as I am, where I am....no matter what anyone else thought about me at the moment.

 

A funny thing happened then. As I practiced more self-acceptance and self-love, I found there were more people in my life who accepted and loved me as I am, where I am. I don't believe in coincidences, so I suspect there's a direct correlation between the change in my attitude toward myself and others' attitudes toward me.

[BellaDonna]

It is ok to be sensitive when you are a girl. If you are a man, you are expected to walk around acting like you're going to ravage the first guy that looks at you funny. Otherwise, you don't have the animal instinct to protect your mate and your children

 

I agree that there is double-standard that exists that it's ok for women to be sensitive, while men are expected to be strong. I believe that it is unhealthy for men to live by that standard. Though I don't really know how double-standard is related to "ravaging" other people (that's something totally different: VIOLENCE) I don't think any person would want a violent partner (whether male or female)

 

It's ok if you don't have a car if you are a woman. The man is supposed to pamper her in each and every way possible, so if he has nothing less than a Mustang and drives under 80 mph... he's essentially boring and useless. If he's good looking, however, hey, at least if he can keep ya away from icky public transportation...

 

I think in today's society- both genders are expected to have a car (to some extent) in order to get to work- unless they live in a city where public transportation is readily available, or they are in walking or biking distance. Some people cannot own cars for financial reasons. If they find a partner that discriminates against them because of that- then they should dump that partner. The "Mustang and 80 mph" thing really confuses me....I'm unable to make the connection of why that would be relevant. Most people cannot afford a Mustang. If what you say is true, that would mean the most people are "boring and useless". When I met my husband he owned a 1987 Chevy which was a glorified tin can with paint chipping off. It didn't make me love him any less. In fact, I liked him more because of it.

 

I'm supposed to be the one to tell a girl how I really feel about her. It's ok if she rejects me because it's always a good excuse. If I don't like a girl romantically, that means I'm shallow and don't deserve to go out with anyone.

 

I really don't understand what you're trying to get at here. It's ok for anyone to turn down someone else if they simply don't like the person romantically. Who told you that you don't deserve to go out with anyone else, just because you did not like a particular girl? Having preferences does not make a person shallow, as long as they are not rude about it.

 

I'm supposed to treat her like a princess... but when she PMSes and changes moods, I'm supposed to treat her like I'm schizophrenic or something... oh yeah, and girls openly have the right to reject me because I've got problems... riiiiiiight

 

Ummm...I'm not sure who you're dating...but I would say the majority of women (and men too )would not think their partner is supposed act like a schizophrenic . Not all women experience PMS either.

 

I'm the one that's always wrong; I can't be overly-sensitive or abusive. Well, it's ok for me to be abusive if I am tall and handsome; cause then she'll be too hoodwinked by my physique to stand up for herself.

 

Abuse is never "ok".

 

If I'm accused of cheating and taken on some moronic, pro-feminist talk show, be prepared for an ignorant, biased audience to chew the hell outta me. The audience is slanted towards her, so if she hates my guts and wants me to leave her for good, she'll have the backing of several hundred people.

 

Have you been on a talk show before? Any talk show that makes money off of other people's problems and exploits people in front of an audience whether it be about infidelity or anything else, is not "pro-feminist" it's pro money, pro pop-psychology, pro-media. You should probably learn more about the principles of feminism. There would be many feminists that would be against a talk show like the one you described, myself included.

 

If I happen to find a certain girl attractive, it's completely ok for her to be jealous and suspect that I'm shallow. However, if she finds a certain man attractive, I'm not allowed to be suspicious cause then I'd be "oppressive".

 

In this case, it would seem like the "girl" in question is very insecure. Not all women are insecure.

 

Its ok to reject me because I'm short. Short men don't have any feelings unless their "hott" or geniuses. Yeah, I really had the ability to choose my height. Hell they even have a right to crack the "short jokes" and reject me based on my height alone. I guess Darwin's "natural selection" works against me, eh?

 

I married someone the same height as myself (I'm not tall at all)- so I can't relate to anything you have written there about men's height. Again, if a person is shallow/immature enough to make jokes about your height or not want to date you for that reason alone- then you should not want anything to do with them anyways. They are not worth your time or energy.

 

I'm supposed to be a gentleman towards a woman. That means even if she's * * * *ing with my head and trying to flirt with me just to get her boyfriend to whoop my * * *, I'm supposed to still treat her like she's the greatest frickin thing that's ever happened to humanity.

 

Says who? You don't have to be receptive to someone who is being flirtatious or trying to start trouble. You have free will and can ignore the person. Tell her to go away.

 

Girls love guitar players... yeah, ones that are tall, handsome, and extremely social. Oh it don't matter if he can't even play a Green Day song... If I play anything even remotely out of the punk-pop repritore (unless she's a musical snob, in which she expects no less than a Steve Vai clone) she'll call me a "geek" and "weirdo with no life".

 

Again, whoever would say that - would not be someone you should want to hang around with anyways. Many people, (not just women alone) have different musical tastes and different preferences for a partner.

 

Not to mention she has a right to be as "weird" as she wants to. She can listen to all the weirdo pop crap (at least it's weird to me) she wants, but if I even mention one of the abstract cartoons I loved to watch as a kid, she'll kiss my pathetic * * * goodbye... good riddance.

 

Good riddance is right. You can find someone with the same interests as you. There could be a girl out there for you that loves those cartoons.

 

I'm not a chauvenist in any way, but I don't like feminism a bit either.

 

I don't think you have an understanding about what feminsim truly is at all. All the things you have mentioned above have nothing to do with feminism- and EVERYTHING to do with insecurity, self-hate, and being mad at the world as a result.

 

 

I just want to live my life and maybe have some female companionship...

 

You CAN have that- but as others have said- if you are this negative and angry, it will be much harder for you to obtain.

 

If issues of double standards and gender stereotypes interest you, perhaps this thread can offer some further insight:

 

BellaDonna

[yeawutever]

Yea double standards still exist, sad but true. Like it's ok for guys to talk dirty, but if a girl does it and likes getting horny, then the "S" is label very easily.

As for abuse, nope there is never an excuse for it.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Ok, so some of these sound a little extreme yes, but I kind of meant for them to be that way. This is the reason i put "/end rant" at the end of my post... sorry about not clearing that up. I have a strange sense of dark humor and extreme sarcasm that others misunderstand. Hell, even Bill Hicks (one of my all-time heroes) got pissed on stage once and said "HITLER WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING!! HE WAS JUST AN UNDER-ACHIEVER!!!" but that doesn't mean I'm taking him literally. I know after reading that, I sound like a burnt-out coke addict who just likes to look at his own posts... but these are just extreme exaggerations of things that have actually happened to me. As you can see, I like watching cartoons and shows that take a truth sooo far it's almost as if said truth doesn't exist anymore (rocko's modern life, Simpsons, early Rugrats, sometimes South Park, etc. etc.). Sorry if I made anything unclear, I've just got this really kooky sense of dark humor to the point sometimes I don't know if I'm making people think I'm a loon. Have any of you ever seen "Love Liza"? It's a movie that takes a serious topic (loss of wife) and takes the grief (and a huffing addiction) to enormous proportions. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but kind of illustrates that I have an oddly dark sense of humor.

[shes2smart]

As I have learned from first hand experience, dark humor and smart-alecky remarks don't translate well without vocal inflection, facial expression and sometimes body language. All of which seem to be missing here. If you were just blowing off steam, that's cool...you just might want to make it a little more clear next time. Big, red letters wouldn't be a bad idea.

 

Like I said before though, the underlying theme of not fitting in is something pretty much everyone has to address in one way or another if they're going to be true to themselves. It can be painful and lonely, and make you feel like there is something wrong with you, but unless your quirks include things like....oh, murder or child molestation....you're probably just fine.

[shes2smart]

....and stay away from TV talk shows. They'll give you a horribly skewed picture of the world faster than you can blink.

[Daddy Bear]

CG, you've raised some excellent points in an articulate way but there are many iniquities that affect women as well; probably more so than men. in any case, i'm glad to see you rejecting the easy path of conformity.

 

at 43, i still occasionally watch the cartoons you listed (pre-Dill Rugrats ONLY!!), not to mention Ren and Stimpy, Beavis and Butthead and Invader Zim. anybody that doesn't like it knows where the door is.