I cheated...How could this happen?

[LovinIt]

no longer avilable

[Day_Walker]

You have known for a while that you wanted more than what this guy was willing to offer, yet you made the choice to stay. You could have saved yourself the trouble if you would have listened to yourself in the beginning when you heard this guy say that he didnt want anything serious and you did.

[Scout]

Daywalker's right, hon. Personally, I don't consider what you did cheating. It's only cheating if you two are an established couple, and this guy said from the get-go he wasn't interested in that. Well, that means he can't object to you seeing other guys.

[helpme2]

I have a question, and believe me I am not trying to be rude or anything but what do you mean when you say "one thing led to another"?

 

It has always irked me when people say that, but I haven't ever been able to ask them......what was the "thing" that started it, when did you realize you were going to far? I don't know maybe it's because I have been cheated on before and got the "I didn't mean to do it" and "one thing led to another" line, that I just don't understand.

 

Advice? you were in a relationship that wasn't what you wanted, it's probably still not what you want, so why stay? Why do you need more commitment from someone when you can't commit yourself?

 

Life is too short to settle, hoping things will change in the future.

[yeawutever]

Well since you guys have not yet establish being couples, and you're not g/f and b/g then it's not really cheating. As for the other guy, that's something you're gonna have be honest about with your date man.

[Süsser Tod]

Yeah, I can't understand that, "one thing lead to another" and "how could this happen".

 

A kiss, I can understand, but having sex and staying overnight plus the next day until the afternoon, that is no simple innocent mistake.

 

 

Anyway, you weren't truly happy with the relationship. Though, I do consider it cheating, I don't need a set of words to get my commitment.

[Scout]

Anyway, you weren't truly happy with the relationship. Though, I do consider it cheating, I don't need a set of words to get my commitment.

 

So, she should just ignore it when the guy tells her they aren't serious and assume they are anyway? That doesn't make any sense to me.

[helpme2]

So, she should just ignore it when the guy tells her they aren't serious and assume they are anyway? That doesn't make any sense to me.

I think he means that you are either commited to a relationship or you aren't, that it doesn't take someone saying to him "I want a commited relationship" to affect how he behaves in a relationship.

 

You should never let someone else dicate your actions.

 

but I could be WAY off the mark, in that case it's my own personal opinion

[annie24]

You have known for a while that you wanted more than what this guy was willing to offer, yet you made the choice to stay. You could have saved yourself the trouble if you would have listened to yourself in the beginning when you heard this guy say that he didnt want anything serious and you did.

 

I agree. if this dude you've been dating for 6 months is still telling you he doesn't want to be serious, then you did not cheat.

 

how did you let this happen? maybe you are looking for a guy who will be your boyfriend, and this guy certainly doesn't sound like he's trying to tie you into a relationship.

 

don't feel so bad. (((HUGS)))

[annie24]

 

Anyway, you weren't truly happy with the relationship. Though, I do consider it cheating, I don't need a set of words to get my commitment.

 

When I first read this post, I thought, "well, if he's been with her for 6 months, maybe he just *assumes* they are bf/gf."

 

but... then there's that part where he told her "he does not want anything serious". So, it sounds like his words were saying that this is a casual, not committed, relationship.

[agent1607307371]

It seems to me that you have gotten more attached to the guy you are seeing than he is to you, and under the circumstances have not cheated on him under his own guidelines for your relationship. You have however, cheated on your own rules regarding the relationship.

 

I can't help but feel that subconsciously you did this because you wanted this guy to get jealous or angry and commit to you.

It was a cathartic act that lead to a huge release of frustration which lead to your ending the relationship.

 

Ultimately, if he was not commited to you then you have no reason to feel so bad because of your actions. Take it as a lesson and move on.

[Scout]

I think he means that you are either commited to a relationship or you aren't, that it doesn't take someone saying to him "I want a commited relationship" to affect how he behaves in a relationship.

 

You should never let someone else dicate your actions.

 

but I could be WAY off the mark, in that case it's my own personal opinion

 

I see what you're saying, but it seemed Susser was overlooking this guy was pretty emphatic that he did not want a committed relationship with her. And with that in mind, there's not much point in being committed to someone who isn't commited to you. And it is not cheating to be with someone else if someone is not committed to you.

[yeawutever]

Honestly I would not like the idea of dating a guy for months and yet he not wanting to be my b/f, I would walk away the first time he says about not wanting a relation, then why the dating, what's the point!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[yeawutever]

Yea, time is running out and if he can't decide whether or not he wants a relation with you, I say cut looses with him. That's like he's dragging you all along for nothing, who knows he might even be wanting to experience elsewhere or doesn't seem to want to deal with the responsibility of a commited relation.

[yeawutever]

He would be devastated yet he doesn't want a g/f and b/f relation, then he can't expect you to commit when he isn't. But honestly do you love your date man??

[yeawutever]

Then I suggest tell him what you are feeling right now towards him and see what he says but don't wait too long for him to finally get serious.

[Süsser Tod]

Until the morning, I thought i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But something has changed in the last 24 hours. It's hard to explain. I do love him though.

 

 

Are you sure you were in love with him? Sounds more like an infatuation, or a broken obsession. Love usually does not end like that. Obsessions may end with relief, and finally, allowing you to be happy.

[doyathink]

My take on this is, If he doesn't consider you a 'couple' than you have every right to touch, kiss and sleep with whom ever you like! He either needs to make a commitment with you or keep it casual and the both of you can do as you please with whom ever you please....

 

Why are you giving him the total power in this 'relationship'? This works both ways. If you don't like the fact that he won't commit to you and consider you a couple than tell him that!The fact that he doesn't want to commit to you as a couple tells me that he wants to leave the door open to other prospects for himself so why shouldn't you also?