I want to call him really badly!

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

For those of you who don't know; my on again/off again bf of two years and I had a little tiff last week. After we went out for ice cream, I asked him what out status what. I had refrained from asking him this because in the past we always ended up fighting about it. After he dropped me off I tried calling him and he didn't answer. I panicked, fearing that I had scared him with commitment, and I called over, and over, and over. I totally embarrassed myself. He called back finally and said he left his phone in his car. So again, I said "It's obvious we like each other what are we?" He said he didn't have time to talk about it. He hung up on me, and i called back. He kept hanging up, and I kept calling back. He yelled at me, WHAT THE F DO YOU WANT?! and then turned his phone off. He turned it off for two min. I left a mean voicemail, I tried to go and erase it but when I hit pound it said message sent! I was mortified! I said that I hope he died on his motorcycle and that his penis was crooked. I didn't want to send it but I couldn't take it back! I called him right after it went through and apologized. The next day I text him saying I had a right to know where we were in the relationship and if I was more than a booty call. NO answer. So I called him with my number blocked out and told him how sorry I was for the mean things I said. He said that he did not care and was not bothered by them, and laughed. I don't know what was so funny. He talked about how it was hot outside, and I said"Yea I went for a run and threw up" and he joked that I was becoming bulemic. I haven't talked to him in 3, almost 4 days now and I'm so sad. I really want to call him, but is NC really the best thing? I really want to implement some form of damage control but I miss the bastard so much

[pablovblack]

"and that his penis was crooked."

AND

"I miss the bastard so much"

 

That is without doubt the funniest thing I have read on this website in 2 months.

[Goldfish6888]

I'm really sorry, but it sounds like this guy is not that interested in a long term relationship or a committed one. You also sound like you are giving too much - which is very like me. Know this - You deserve an answer from him and fellas hate confrontation especially when they know the outcome is going to be negative. I would delete his number from your phone and refrain from contacting him again. This guy does not even look like he has respect for you or the two years you have spent together. Please, please don't contact him again.. Yes you miss him, but if you don't get over him, you will miss the chance of meeting someone wonderful who will love you and who will be excited to get your phone calls and not power his phone off. I'm going through a similar thing myself at the moment, and you just have to know when you deserve something better and deserve to be treated like the jewel you are. Men will try and get away with as much as they can, if we let them. So stand your ground...get your hair done, do your make-up, get to the gym, reinvent yourself, and go meet a fab man! Hope this helps, cos' this is the advice I've given myself.....Slainte

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

I don't feel bad about myself, I know I'm the greatest thing since fluffernutter sandwhiches. I am getting on with life, I go to the gym, I am a personal trainer, but I don't know how else to feel better lol. I"m not feeling horribly bad, I just feel like I blew it, I feel guiltiy. I wasn't very giving at all, never called him, rarely made plans with him, because when I did in the past he was always "busy". I feel now that I was just taking scraps that he was throwing at me. Just last week he called me and left a message saying he needed me because I hadn't spoken to him in 4 days. And he would joke around that I was getting ready to dump him, so I'm very confused. I always had to gauge his interest in me and I guess I finally lost it. I think mostly that my ego is bruised, because I have a big one. Now it's not so big because I let my guard down, and let him have the power. And I'm really embarrassed. My friends thought it was funny what I said to him, but I feel horrible.

[Goldfish6888]

I think you are right to the NC. Don't feel guilty at all. He is obviously very insecure and needs to feel in control. Just see this time as space for you. Don't see it as a break-up. Clear your head and your thoughts. If in 6 weeks time, when the wounds aren't as raw and you still feel the urge to call him. Then do. The wounds are still raw, Don't be hard on yourself. Just treat yourself......to a little retail therapy...and it will take time. You are right, he was giving you scraps. You deserve more.

[Goldfish6888]

I just want to wish you the best of luck..as I know how you feel. I too am living under a cloud....it's like a mist has settled over my life, without him...and everything I knew before has now changed. Take care and look after yourself.

[iceman85]

Wow just by interpreting his words and actions I can tell you he has no intrest really in talking to you. When he joked about you being bulemic I think that was immature. Also he sounds like hes really bothered by your contact, I have no real idea whats going through his head but its best to remain in NC. He'll probably immediatley wonder why you arent contacting him and if you have found someone else. Maybe then his head will spin a bit. Who knows, but for now do stuff for yourself and try your best to be YOU again.

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

He always thought I was seeing other guys. I tried my best to not crowd him or come off as needy. I gave him plenty of room, but he always thought I was seeing someone else. He would get scared when he thought I was pulling away. And now he doesn't care? I know I looked desperate and psycho, but he's done it to me quite a few times. I was doing fine up until today. Now my eyes are watering up more. THe more the days go on, the harder it is. So you think he will start to wonder why I haven't been calling? If I could be so desperate and clingy one day, and then all of a sudden stop calling, he will wonder? I know I shouldn't call, I really don't plan on it, but it's killing me. All the what if's....I can't stop thinking that I really blew it....

[saltwatergirl]

Blew what? He doesnt sound like that much of a peach, really. I think you're fine, cut this one loose and move on, seriously. Consider this a lesson in training for yourself for when you actually do meet a decent guy, Im sure in the future you'll refrain from any "crooked" comments or death wishes.

 

PS Agree with the attitude adjustment suggestions offered up previously. and to borrow a new term i learned on here a few minutes ago, if he does contact you just throw him the ole PFO and then get thee to the mall!

Couldnt wait to use that!!

 

Salt

[Allie.]

hmm. well. i have nothing to say but stick through it. don't call him. let him come to you.

 

allie.

[brickchamp]

Hang in there girl...Almost three weeks here and I haven't called mine....it's getting better. But I have to see him next weekend...YIKES. I know it's hard, and I miss my bastard too, and he is one, but stay STRONG!!!!

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

Thanks Brickchamp...you rock! And everyone else...thanks. I welcome the reinforcement!