Broken up but he wants sex

[Emotional_Kisses]

Well, here's the story.

Me and my ex spent 2 PERFECT years together, both madly in love with each other and both of us honestly thought it would never come to an end. I seriously thought that he was "the one" and i know he thought the same about me.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, we had a few little arguments in the last month on our relationship and decided on a "break". Of course it wasn't a "break" because we didn't get back together...

 

It's been 3 months since we last split and we've only just started talking again. The chemistry between us is still amazing and we're constantly flirting and chatting to each other like we used to.

We spoke about getting back together a few days ago. In his words - "I want to be with you so bad and i love you so much but my friends are pressuring me to go out with this girl and i really don't want to."

 

He says he can't get back with me because he doesn't like letting people down and his friends will be disappointed. However, he isn't dating this girl and i don't think he really wants to.

 

We were talking again tonight and he mentioned coming round to mine for sex in a couple of days.

 

I love him so much, i have never stopped loving him and the past few months have killed me. I miss him so much, i still cry myself to sleep at night. But i don't want to be "that girl hes sleeping with." i want him back so much. And i really do not know what to do.

 

He is still really protective over me and always phoning me to make sure i'm ok but i don't know. I really want to see him but i love him too much to just let him go.

[nicorette]

He says he can't get back with me because he doesn't like letting people down and his friends will be disappointed.

 

oh my god. i cant believe youre still talking to this guy. this guy is extremely immature and is lacking independence. i know youre going through a hard time, im just trying to let you know that this guy is arrogant and inconsiderate. i hope you stop wasting your time on this man and find a real one who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. hes just taking advantage of having sex with you - reaping the benefits of sex but not having to deal with the arguments of a relationship. you are worth SOOO much more than that!

[agent1607307371]

Honestly, don't have sex with him. Don't talk to him and don't let him come see you.

 

He won't be in a relationship with you, won't get back with you so as not to disappoint his friends and tells you about girls he may be being involved with?

That's incredibly cruel behaviour.

 

Cut contact with him and find out how much he wants you.

Either it will be more than peer pressure means, or less. Either way you've learnt something.

 

Love him, by all means, just love yourself more.

[annie24]

He says he can't get back with me because he doesn't like letting people down and his friends will be disappointed.

 

And like how the others said.... but he can let YOU down????

 

No... don't have sex with him. Unless you don't mind casual sex and don't care if you two get back together again.

 

If you do want him back someday, you have to put your foot down. Either he is your boyfriend, and he gets all the benefits of a boyfriend (sex), or, he is just your friend (and I don't sleep with my friends!)

 

Think of it this way - if he is getting all the perks of a relationship (ie, sex, intimacy), but doesn't have the responsibilites of a boyfriend (taking care of your feelings, making sure you don't get hurt), why would he enter a relationship with you again? He is getting what he wants, with the freedom of not having a commitment.

[Cadence308]

I agree that he's immature. He can't let his friends down, but it's okay to let you down even though he claims to still be in love with you.

 

Do NOT let your guard down and allow yourself to be used for sex because that will be all that he wants with you! Have some self-respect and make it an all or none event with you. Either he commits to getting back together again and you have a normal sexual relationship or you stay broken up, in which you have no sexual relations.

 

It sounds like he's calling to make sure that you aren't dating someone else.

[Emotional_Kisses]

Yeah, you are all definitely right.

 

He's going out today to get ma a present lol he must think that it's going to win me over.

 

He's in for a shock

[nottoogreen]

Emotional_Kisses,

 

At best he needs sex, at worst he want's to down you.

 

Take care your self esteem, do not let him touch you.

 

Read the loser article in my sig, also will be useful when looking for a new guy.

[Momene]

Even if you had a bad history and his friends are against you for that reason, hew should still make up his own mind. Perhaps his friends will tell him which sex positions to use on the new girl.

 

You're better off without him!

[eleanorrigby1]

My parents HATED my brother's girlfriend, his friends hated he everyone told him he would be a idiot to get back with her, but he loved her, so he did, and he didnt care if no body approved, because he loved her.

 

get my point?

 

You deserve better.

[thegirl_00]

If he's sticking true to his friends and not to you what makes you think thats ever going to change?

 

He's putting his friends before you and thats not always a bad thing because friends are hard to find. But if he told you that he wont let his friends down then clearly he doesn't love you that much and isn't willing to let them down in any way. Let me tell you that sleeping with him isn't going to make him change his mind.

 

I don't see how sleeping with him would be a good idea in ANY way. It will just make you miss him even more. Don't let this boy use you adn play around with your emotions.

[fishrrshortae]

he doesn't like letting people down and his friends will be disappointed

 

OK, so we've all seen the quote a hundred times now.

But really I think you should laugh in his face and walk off.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

(Did not read all replies)

 

I'm sorry, but he does not love you.

 

A guy who loves you will not care what his friends think.

 

A guy who loves you would not just "come round for sex" at this stage in your Break/Process of Getting Back Together.

 

I know you love him, but he really isn't good news.

[Spugly Fuglet]

I think most posts here are right but I would add that maybe hes trying to bake from his mates and find the right thing to do. Ask him start out and see what he say. If hes just in it for the Sex walk away.