GF and unprotected sex

[itsthatguy]

My girlfriend and I were both virgins, she had never done anything with a guy before so she was clean, I had messed around with my ex and a couple other girls but I was/am tested regularly and I'm clean. She's also been on the pill for about 4 months. Last weekend her folks were gone and we had a small party at her place, we were fairly baked and once everyone else left we ended up having sex without a condom. Normally spooning, doggy style, or her on top with me sitting up will get her off pretty quickly, but she's never been able to have multiple orgasms through sex, it has to be me working the g-spot and using my tongue. When we didn't use a condom she got off first really quickly, and had a session of multiple orgasms just through intercourse and a little bit of my hand. She got off multiple times before I did once. Felt great for me too, and (not gonna lie) I really enjoyed the pull and spray rather than just busting off in the condom. We've had stoned sex before with condoms on and it wasn't this good, so it's not just drugs that made it great. Now, here's the problem: When we tried having sex totally sober without condoms she couldn't get off at all, because she said she was too afraid of getting pregnant. I have great self control and am not worried about accidentally coming inside of her, but she says that's all she can think about. So now we end up starting off without a condom and then putting one on in a minute or two, even though I normally have no problems going 15-20 minutes for the first time.

 

Any ways to try and help my girlfriend get off this mental block? I obviously don't want to have a kid, but they say the pill when taken correctly is around 95% effective and pulling out is about 85% effective, so if you combine the 2 you're looking at something like a .5% chance of pregnancy, which is pretty miniscule. I'm not so much worried about my pleasure as hers, because she really enjoyed it before, and I'm going to get off either way so I don't really matter.

[Vert]

Ok first of all... I'm a bit confused...

 

You start out by saying your gf is/was a virgin and then continue on by talking about how she normally has orgasms or how you two normally have sex. Am I missing something in the timeline?

 

Anyway, if she's regularly taking the pill at the same time each day as she should be then it's more than 95% effective. The reason that number isn't >99% is because of human error (missing the pill one day, taking it at vary times each day, etc.), but most of the time pregnancy is very unlikely. The safest way is to always use a condom with birth control.

 

By the way you can't "combine" pulling out with the pill and mix percentages. Of course it helps slightly, but that math is a bit fuzzy you have there. Also, I thought pullout was something like 70%... Anyway, I digress. You're basically asking us to tell you how to get rid of your gf's fears of pregnancy?

[kellbell]

Hi there,

 

First of all, the pull out method is a very dangerous thing to do. It is very possible to get pregnant by that method. As far as birth control methods go, nothing is ever full-proof. There is always a chance. But the reason for the 95% chance is HUMAN ERROR! If BC is taken correctly, BC is like 99% effective. But combining those percentages like you did does not make any sense. Even with condoms, there is a chance. So unless you ready for the possibilty of becoming a parent, it makes sense to be more careful and safe.

[Vert]

Hi there,

 

First of all, the pull out method is a very dangerous thing to do. It is very possible to get pregnant by that method. As far as birth control methods go, nothing is ever full-proof. There is always a chance. But the reason for the 95% chance is HUMAN ERROR! If BC is taken correctly, BC is like 99% effective. But combining those percentages like you did does not make any sense. Even with condoms, there is a chance. So unless you ready for the possibilty of becoming a parent, it makes sense to be more careful and safe.

 

Funny thing is that most teenagers and even adults claim they are responsible and ready to have sex yet no one wants to handle the responsibility of a baby.

[Day_Walker]

Typically with the pill it is 97% effective if everything is done correctly. I believe that your figure of 85% is correct when using the withdrawl method. However I do question your math. I would say that the chances of pregnancy are going to range from 3% to 15%. If that is a risk that you are going to take then you are the one that has to deal with the consequences.

[Day_Walker]

Funny thing is that most teenagers and even adults claim they are responsible and ready to have sex yet no one wants to handle the responsibility of a baby.

 

The beauty of our society is that people are allowed to make mistakes and they have the choice to remedy that error in judgment. Sex is not just for procreation, and it shouldnt be treated as though it is. I say a person is responsible if they terminate a pregnancy knowing that they are not able to handle a baby at that moment in their life.

[itsallgrand]

I'm glad to hear she is on the pill.

 

It sounds like her 'mental block' is fear of getting pregnant. Understandable. In the situation where she 'got off' without the condom; I'd guess she was so high that she no longer cared. Combine that with a 'first timer' without a condom: bingo, she got really hot about it.

 

She obviously can physically orgasm to great heights. So why not consider alternate routes than the no-condom thing?

 

I truly question your statistics. 85% decreased chance of pregnancy with the pull-out method? No. I wouldn't even consider it a method. It is completely unreliable.

 

I don't know what kind of drugs you are smoking: but I feel I must say that can lead to some dangerous decision making. And condom use is no good if you pull it on after going bare-back first! You must use it from the beginning.

 

The drugs may affect her reliability as far as taking birth control! I do not know if it chemically affects the effiency of bc; Maybe some one here knows? Would need to know the drug anyhow. It is something to consider though! Drug use could also affect your ability to notice if a condom is safe to use, if there are rips, etc. Lots to consider beyond the fact that your minds are high.

 

To your original question: I would suggest using condoms, laying off the drugs, and allowing her to become comfortable mentally with the idea of not using condoms. No need to rush. The two of you still have plenty of learning to do on how to blow each others minds: experiment with other stuff and getting her to high climaxs that way. It is possible: consider it your challenge.

The rest will happen with time. Can't emphasize enough that this would be an endeavor best taken with both of you clean.

 

take care.

[shes2smart]

Funny thing is that most teenagers and even adults claim they are responsible and ready to have sex yet no one wants to handle the responsibility of a baby.

 

...and how many are ready to contract an STI/STD?

 

I realize this may not be an issue for the OP, however, STI/STD's are another potential consequence of having sex and something people should be prepared to deal with.

[lillady898]

I know a woman who was on birth control and used a condom, but still got pregnant.

[teacup]

take one egg, divide by the number of wigglies and your chances are....a baby! and mabe twins if ur lucky!

 

congratulations!

[Vert]

...and how many are ready to contract an STI/STD?

 

I realize this may not be an issue for the OP, however, STI/STD's are another potential consequence of having sex and something people should be prepared to deal with.

 

Yep... Obviously sex is not just for procreation as it was designed to be pleasurable and intimate. However, it was also designed to be inside marriage -- something I wish I'd done.

[Vert]

I know a woman who was on birth control and used a condom, but still got pregnant.

 

Damn... That's gotta be one of two things -- either she forgot her pill that day and/or the condom broke.

[RayKay]

Yep... Obviously sex is not just for procreation as it was designed to be pleasurable and intimate. However, it was also designed to be inside marriage -- something I wish I'd done.

 

Well, it being designed to be inside of a marriage is more of a Christian & religious belief. Which is totally fine, but I think there is a difference between saying "I believe sex to be something to be enjoyed within marriage" and saying "sex was designed to be inside marriage".

 

Marriage is a recently "new" thing, and as far as I can tell, people were having sex LONG before that!

[Vert]

Well, it being designed to be inside of a marriage is more of a Christian & religious belief. Which is totally fine, but I think there is a difference between saying "I believe sex to be something to be enjoeyed within marriage" and saying "sex was designed to be inside marriage".

 

Marriage is a recently "new" thing, and as far as I can tell, people were having sex LONG before that!

 

Marriage is new? I thought it's been going on for quite some time, rk .

 

I understand that many think it is a "christian" belief, but honestly many cultures feel this way and it's not just the religious right. There is only a difference in the two statements you mentioned if it is something that is "offensive" to you or if you agree with it.

[Sir Ulrich von Lichtenstei]

The beauty of our society is that people are allowed to make mistakes and they have the choice to remedy that error in judgment. Sex is not just for procreation, and it shouldnt be treated as though it is. I say a person is responsible if they terminate a pregnancy knowing that they are not able to handle a baby at that moment in their life.

 

Yeah. My friend ended up getting pregnant a little while ago off of the pull-out method. Three weeks into it she knew she could NOT take care of the child financially, she did not want to be forced to be stuck with her current boyfriend (if they broke up, what then?), and then she just went to a planned parenthood place and got a medical abortion. I thought it was weird because she was so against abortions but she said if it had actually developed into a fetus (which it hadn't yet) she would have kept it and put it up for adoption. THAT is taking responsibility for your mistakes. (Oh yes she didn't have insurance so she asked her boyfriend to loan $300 (it was $600 all together and he paied it all upfront) to her, RIGHT afterwards got a job and returned him $300 in the week.)