Sex problems??

[Starfall]

I agree with Annie... I'm a D... where are the men!!!!!!!! lol

[annie24]

Excellent post bella!

 

For those of you that don't know, I'm a working on my PhD in biochemistry. Last week, I attended a talk given by a Nobel Prize winner. He was talking about some promising drugs he was doing research on in conjuction with a major pharmaceutical company. The implication of the research was very drastic - the drugs were very potent antibiotics and could potentially save millions of lives a year.

 

A professor raised his hand and asked why the drugs weren't brought to market. The Nobel Prize winner said that the pharmaceutical company decided to put all its time and effort and money into Cialis instead, because they thought it would make far more money than the potent antibiotics. Cialis is also known as "Super Viagra."

[CarnelianButterfly]

First, it's very unfair that men are labeled with titles such as "minute-man", made fun of on TV, in jokes etc... But I don't know of a single joke or title about a women who can't reach orgasm. That is a double standard there.

 

The term used for women is "frigid" and its been around since before TV, radio, whatever. It stipulates that women who can't orgasm with penetration, a vaginal orgasm, are immature sexually (Thank Freud for that crap). The fact of the matter is that the vulva and vagina are very different areas. The vulva and clitoris are packed with nerve endings and meant to be the pleasure zones. The vagina is very sparsely populated with nerves, why, because when you push a watermelon out an lemon sized opening you don't want to feel every single millimeter of the effort. Such as that it is, the vagina is not going to be as stimulated by penetration as much as rubbing the vulva and clitoris.

[annie24]

Thank you CB!

 

Furthermore, I'm pretty sure that the clitoris is most closely related evolutionarily to the penis. Like CB said, if you're going to push a baby out of the vaginal opening, you don't want that to be the most sensitive part of your body! Yikes! Childbirth hurts enough as it!

 

However... here is the clitoris. An organ that has absolutely no other function than for sexual pleasure.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Furthermore, I'm pretty sure that the clitoris is most closely related evolutionarily to the penis.

Since the baby start out blank essentially, the biological default is female, the testosterone is what eventually causes penis and testes to form. When the baby begins to develop due to the introduction of hormones into the body the tissues that are the clitoris become the penis for boys. There are cases where female babies were born with enlarged clitoris tissues and that very much resemble a penis. Its often caused issues with gender assignments for these individuals and since most male doctors feel it is a defect will perform female circumcisions, removing all or parts of the tissue, leaving them little to no amount sensitivity.

[RayKay]

I never said cheating is ok no matter the reason. What I said was about the differences. None of it is good.

 

Believe me, ask most women if they would rather be "hot" or not, they'll take the former. A guy who looks like a jock is thought of as dumb too but I'm sure they'll take it over looking out of shape.

 

But a condom on your finger, then put it in your mouth. Where do you feel it less? I'm sorry but while I concede there is some loss for the women, the condom is ON HIM. He is the one trading the more feeling for the safety.

 

Yes, but what is the difference between a woman cheating as her man does not get here there, and a man cheating because his wife does not get him there - whatever the mechanism (be he "lazy" or she "too wet", the main issue is the same - it is not "enough" for them).

 

I never said whom loses more feeling...and never said 'we lose more', but you can't really say that women lose a minimal amount when you can't experience it.

 

Considering your post was about how if women can't orgasm they should do something about it, seems rather odd then you would argue that a "minimal loss of feeling" is nothing, when it may be something that is indeed part of the issue for them.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Sure, they get made fun of because they have a great body. Are dismissed as intelligent. Are considered gold diggers. Not taken seriously. Other women laugh at them behind their backs and take bets on whether they are "real" or not. When they develop early, they are the butt of the school jokes, and rumours. They are automatically "sluts" because they have big breasts. They are taught all they have is their body and once that is gone, well no one will give a damn.

 

Sure....that's much easier.

 

Wohoo, way to go RayKay! She's right you know, many beautiful woman have it much harder than people think. Ever wondered what it would feel like to walk into a place and automatically notice how many men there are looking at you, and you know there thinking awful thoughts but you can't say a word about it. It gets worse when the catcalls start.

[eimono]

The term used for women is "frigid" and its been around since before TV, radio, whatever. It stipulates that women who can't orgasm with penetration, a vaginal orgasm, are immature sexually (Thank Freud for that crap). The fact of the matter is that the vulva and vagina are very different areas. The vulva and clitoris are packed with nerve endings and meant to be the pleasure zones. The vagina is very sparsely populated with nerves, why, because when you push a watermelon out an lemon sized opening you don't want to feel every single millimeter of the effort. Such as that it is, the vagina is not going to be as stimulated by penetration as much as rubbing the vulva and clitoris.

 

Funny, I've never heard a woman called that, no one I asked has either. Not saying you're wrong but I did a search on google for more information.

 

Quick Google Search: Minute-man +orgasm (so to not get the minute-men of the colonial war) - 2,370,000 results

Google Search: frigid woman +orgasm hits. 87,100 results

 

And so I read one of the FIRST few reslts on frigid woman and got this:

 

According to professional lore, Alfred Kinsey, the famous sex researcher, said that there were no frigid women, only inept men. Of course, that reflects a heterosexual model, and it doesn't have much compassion for men. Alice could update that to say, "There are no frigid women, only uneducated men and women." The more information women have about their bodies, the more pleasure they can receive."

 

I think it's looked as more of a male problem. If a woman can't get off her guy is doing something wrong. But if I guy can't get off it's his fault. That is the view that society seems to have, not saying any of it is right.

 

As for the rest of your comment, I assume you're talking to someone else about that... but I will say one last thing.

 

In my opinion, sex is almost 90% emotional and 10% physical. If either side is not getting off or just enjoying sex, there is a bigger issue at hand. It is all about enjoying something together that is special between only the couple. The act of enjoying each other and sharing that intimacy helped by the physical stimulation is what makes a really extraordinary orgasm.

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Your not kidding, it does get tiresome and strenuous. You know you work so hard at being this intellectual individual and it just gets so easily overlooked because your the girl with the body. And the friends falling for you thing, kind of works to my advantage since I tend to fall for my friends, so that part I can't complain about =P

 

I've said it once I'll say it again, I'd rather be average looking or unnattractive.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Quick Google Search: Minute-man +orgasm (so to not get the minute-men of the colonial war) - 2,370,000 results

Google Search: frigid woman +orgasm hits. 87,100 results

My Google results:

Minute-man +orgasm: 32,400

Frigid woman +orgasm: 94,500

 

And the first result I saw for the Minute-man hits was a womans guide to helping her man with his premature ejaculation. The 2nd, 3rd, 4th all very similar, women asking how to help their men, the 5th was finally a man seeking assistance.

[eimono]

My Google results:

Minute-man +orgasm: 32,400

Frigid woman +orgasm: 94,500

 

Here are my searches

link removed

 

AND

 

link removed

 

And the first result I saw for the Minute-man hits was a womans guide to helping her man with his premature ejaculation. The 2nd, 3rd, 4th all very similar, women asking how to help their men, the 5th was finally a man seeking assistance.

 

Look at the other results, there are many of them that are negitive. All I'm saying is from the results, it's much more used from what I can tell.

[BellaDonna]

This thread has really gone way off topic, but I may as well add:

 

I'm sorry but while I concede there is some loss for the women, the condom is ON HIM. He is the one trading the more feeling for the safety.

 

Condoms- Since I don't have a penis I don't know what it feels like to wear one (nor will I pretend to)- but I do know that I can really notice the difference when my husband has worn one. Sensation is really lost compared to having sex with no condom. You can clearly feel a "barrier" between the 2 of you and it takes away some of the friction which would be pleasurable. Unless you own both a penis and a vagina- or did a clinical study on the matter- it's pretty impossible to say who loses sensation more. I don't think it really matters, when safety is the main use fo ra condom anyway. Sex with a condom is still a heck of a lot better than no sex or sex with the risk of STD's. With a condom you may lose sensation- but with an STD you may lose it forever, or better yet- have a hard time even getting sex because you have to tell your potential future sexual partners about your STD.

 

Believe me, ask most women if they would rather be "hot" or not, they'll take the former.

 

An attractive woman with a great body does have it easier.

 

The Breast Issue/Physical Attractiveness- I would say that many people think women with large breasts have it easy. Well they don't. I like having large breasts in my bedroom or on the weekends when I feel like looking curvy in a dress- however I wish I could remove them while I'm at work, at the supermarket, or anywhere else where I don't want them noticed. My breasts have caused more rude comments and innaccurate judgements made about me than anything else in my life. When I started my current job back in 2003- it took me a good 6 months before people started viewing me in the professional way I had hoped for. It was as if they expected me to be stupid or a "bimbo" because of my chest. I had to prove myself to everyone whereas someone else may have not. Now what I find happens- which I think is even worse- is I now get these over-inflated compliments at work. My boss will say "So and so saw you at the last meeting and was so impressed with your work".... My work is quality- but I don't think it needs that kind of praise. Other co-workers are doing equally great things too. Yet people will make a point of it to tell my boss wonderful things about my work because they were originally convinced I was stupid, and I countered their stereotype once they got to know me. I believe the countering of the sterotype they held leads to them to respond with an over-done compliment about me (maybe out of guilt?).

 

But if a woman has her own "problems", the guy usually has to work harder like positions where his pubic bone rubs up against her clitoris to get her off (and let me tell you, that doesn't feel as good at all for the guy compared to the reg in and out).

 

Orgasm- I think sex is being viewed as too much of a battle and game in this thread. If you're having good sex with someone you care about- why would you even be keeping track of which position was used for which partner's benefit, whose pelvic bone was moved a certain way for this, and who changed the friction for that? This is being wayyyyyy over-thought. Just do it. lol If my husband needs something particular to send him over the edge, then that's what he'll get, and vice versa. To keep track of who did what for who, or use it as something to cause a debate over seems extremely silly to me.

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

Amen Bella!

 

110% agreement on all points from my corner of the peanut gallery

[SwtMary]

Ok after ready EVERY post I have to say something about what "ying...yang" said. I would much rather have people looking at me because I am beautiful or sexy than what happens to me...there are times I feel like I could stand in a crowded room naked and no one notice me. I love to go to clubs with my friends who are all gorgeous women. When they are around I am invisible. I know it is unfair for men to assume that you are a bimbo because of the way you look, but it is also unfair for men to ignore you because you aren't what the world considers "pretty."

 

As for the original topic, I feel responsible if a man doesn't orgasm and I admit I get pretty peeved if I work hard to get a man to orgasm and he leaves me hanging. As for the drugs for both men and women I think it is a personal preference. If a man doesn't care that he has an ED then he doesn't have to take drugs or get surgery. If a woman doesn't care that she is too wet or can't orgasm then why should anyone else care? Now if the problems become an issue in a "relationship" then I think that no matter who is having the "problem" BOTH should do what they can to work it out. You don't want a loving marriage or relationship to end because she's too wet or he can't get it up.

 

Of course this is just my opinion. I am not near as intelligent as some of the other people that have posted but those are my meager thoughts do what you will with them...

[BellaDonna]

Of course this is just my opinion. I am not near as intelligent as some of the other people that have posted but those are my meager thoughts do what you will with them...

 

You sound pretty intelligent to me, SwtMary.

 

If a man doesn't care that he has an ED then he doesn't have to take drugs or get surgery. If a woman doesn't care that she is too wet or can't orgasm then why should anyone else care? Now if the problems become an issue in a "relationship" then I think that no matter who is having the "problem" BOTH should do what they can to work it out. You don't want a loving marriage or relationship to end because she's too wet or he can't get it up.

 

That was a very good point that you made.

 

 

BellaDonna