Younger Man/Older Women...men please respond

[missmar]

I recently started a new job and met one of my coworkers who I am extremely attracted to.

 

Since I was new I decided to try and avoid him because I needed to stay focused on my job. Well that didn't last very long because I ran into him in the breakroom. Well sparks were flying between us and we talked for a little while, I kept it short and went back to my desk. All normal stuff...right? Well the problem is I look younger than I am, I still get carded when I go out....I'm 40 and I was guessing he was 30.

 

Well he came over to my desk the next day with one of his buddies and asked me out to lunch. This seem to raise a few eyebrows with my female coworkers, which made me think he was the office stud and I was a little leary of him. I decided to go to lunch with him and a bunch of his friends. I took my own car...and I think this made him upset. Anyway at lunch he told me he was going away next week on business, and his friends were joking that I should go with him. I just blushed...and blew it off.

 

Anyway, he went away and I was curious about how old he was so I looked him up on a people search web site.... HE IS 25!!!!! My heart broke right then and there. This was way too young for me.

 

When he came back, I avoided him again, but I can't stop thinking about him. He is really shy around me as well...it's like we both turn red when we see each other. One of girls he hangs out with came over to me and was asking about hangin out sometime and like sure.....she also was nosing around with what I do on the weekend stuff. I know he had something to do with it.

 

Now we are both avoiding each other like the plague. I want to talk to him, but I can't find the courage to confront him. I want to tell him that I am crazy about him and then tell him how old I am. I dread it because I don't think I can bare to see the look on his face when I drop the bomb. It is now affecting my work because there is so much tension between us.

 

Any advise on how to approach him and get all this out. I thought of sending an email, or should I wait for him to approach me.

[robowarrior]

Well what you want to do is to do this outside the company time. I advice you to strictly separate work from your private life, but then again if you don't confess your gonna explode so my advice is this.

 

When you send him an e-mail don't expect any good results, you might go in your e-mail stating that you sorta develloped a crush on him,but that you are weary because of the age gap etc etc. But then again he is 25 = mature, and old enough to decide for himself for what he wants in life. Its a decision on both of your sides, plus you have to be able to stand firmly into your shoes because of the critisism you might get thrown at you, on the other hand don't neglect your own life happyness.

[RandomAdvisor]

I'm also less concerned with the age gap than I am with the fact that he works in the same office with you. Dating co workers is rarely advisable. If it's a big company and he works in a different department that's one thing, but if you are going to be seeing him often I think it is a bad idea.

[quietgrl]

matme,

 

I'm kinda in the same boat as you.I'm interested in a male co-worker.I'm 36 and he might be 20/21 years old.

I have a rule about dating co-worker but this guy is cute.I'm getting ready to ask him out this month.I"m willing to take this one chance because i don't want to have any regrets in life anymore.

[missmar]

Hi, Thanks for responding

 

I admire your spunk...but you know what you are still young enough to deal with this gap between ages. My only hope is that you don't fall head over heals like I did Better yet, I hope that he falls head over heals with you....you never know.

 

I'm pretty sure my guy is FREAKED about my age and I don't blame him. My god.... I struggle with my impure thoughts everyday LOL

 

Is he somebody you can contact outside of the work place? Or are you comfortable with everyone knowing.....

[Scout]

Forget the age gap, that's not the real issue here. It's definitely about separating work from your personal life, and unfortunately, it appears office gossip is already generating about you two.

 

The most effective solution is not to pursue anything else with this guy, but it seems you two are really digging each other. I guess I'd just say then, go into this with the understanding one or both of you could lose your jobs if it becomes a relationship. If you both are accepting of that, then proceed accordingly, although try to be as discreet as possible.

 

And tell him your age. I'm sure he knows, if you know his. He can look up the same info on you, too, I imagine.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

how important is this job to you? why are you now avoiding each other, i thought there was something starting? i'm confused. he seemed to like you, so i just don't understand why the weirdness all of a sudden. and who is this other girl sniffing around for info, is she jealous that you're getting attention? it's probably best that he (and you) don't involve other people in what's going on.

 

also, as far as the older woman/ younger man thing, no big deal, my mom is around 10 years older than her husband, my sister in law is several years older than my brother, i've dated younger guys, and turned down younger guys because they were just too 'old'!

[quietgrl]

I'm lucky because my job is a seasonal/temp job.I'm not planning on staying at this job after 2 years.So if this relationship goes to the next step.One of us can leave the job.

That's why i'm willing to take the risk and let him decided if 36 is too old .

 

 

Hi, Thanks for responding

 

I admire your spunk...but you know what you are still young enough to deal with this gap between ages. My only hope is that you don't fall head over heals like I did Better yet, I hope that he falls head over heals with you....you never know.

 

I'm pretty sure my guy is FREAKED about my age and I don't blame him. My god.... I struggle with my impure thoughts everyday LOL

 

Is he somebody you can contact outside of the work place? Or are you comfortable with everyone knowing.....

[CutiePa2T]

do it!! lol

[I LUV VICKY]

I know how u feel, i'm 16 and accross the road from me is a really nice women, she is 29. So there is a 13 year difference. I see her every day and i look outside the window to see if she is home if she isn't get worry just in case is is hurt. But she has a boyfriend who didn't leave her house till the night after. And now every day im in a bad mood. Someone help me plz

[phantomwolff85]

I would not get involved with someone until I reached legal age. I know that's difficult but that way no one gets hurt or arrested.

[phantomwolff85]

Sorry, I responded to the wrong thread.

[charley]

You might be great together. Try it and see.

 

It could be a fantastic short-term relationship. Might be a great long-term relationship. Try it and find out.

 

Who cares about office gossip?

 

My sister was a 25 or 26 year old college English teacher. She married one of her older students who was 27. They met during the very first quarter she taught. They have now been married for a few years and have a kid. They are very happy. Point being, have some guts. If worse comes to worse, can't you or he get another job?

 

FYI - my sister could still teach at the same college, if she wanted to. However, she got a better job elsewhere. She's still on good terms with the college.

 

Just be friends at work for a while. You can see each other outside of work and no one needs to know. Then if you like that, then you can come out later.

 

I once had a really nice older girlfriend. I was 23 and she was 36. My only complaint is that she kept our relationship permanently in the closet. I wanted to come out, she didn't. Otherwise, it was the perfect relationship.

 

You should go for it. You can use discretion by dating outside work and just being friends at work. That can be fun for up to a year. After that, if you still want to be together, you'll have to be open about being a couple in public. i.e. - you'll eventually have to come out, but not right away.

 

Let their envious tongues wag at work or wherever. The women will only wish they were you. The men will wish they were him.

 

Have some courage. Be true to yourself. Go for it.