You fall in to it .. how do you fall out of it?

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hello everyone,

 

I know I have been bugging you with loads of posts, but it's just I have so many thoughts and questions and rants inside my head, that I feel this site is somewhere where I can really express my deepest feelings about things without being judged or criticized.

 

Anyway, I know a lot of you are going to get pretty angry about this post because it's talking about love. I just want to make it clear I am not trying to hurt anyone intentionally.

 

So I was a part of an infidelity. I was the other woman. The thing is, I really fell in love with the guy I shouldn't have been seeing. Yes I realize at 17 I'm new to the whole relationship situation and ideally I should be focusing on other things in my life.

 

The thing is, I can't get him out of my head, and in a twisted way, I don't want him to leave. Can you understand that? It sounds so crazy.

 

I want to know how it is that you fall out of love? I mean is it just that times a healer? I don't know. I have never had these feelings before and their so new. I actually like having these feelings of love but not for someone who I can't have.

 

I was pretty selfish and made life quite difficult for myself and him (as well as other people involved) and I still find it difficult to accept the reality that he's not mine

 

I just wanted to know how I can stop having these feelings, or how I can make myself feel free of anger and jealousy. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion to have.

 

Thanks,

 

Miya xx

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Amazing how one bad choice can complicate so many things in such a short time period. I won't read you the riot act about what you did, because I'm sure you can figure out what many of us here would say. So I'll just answer the question.

 

You occupy your time, find new interests and hobby's. Just keep your mind off of them.

[SwtMary]

That is a sticky situation and very hard for everyone involved. I have found that the easiest way to get over someone is to completely take them out of your life. It is easier said than done but it can be done. Delete his phone number...erase his emails...however you keep in touch with him get rid of it. It is not easy but it is the best and quickest way to stop loving someone.

[Dako]

Really think of what he did to his SO. Would you want to be in her shoes? Sure he told you her faults. He'd likely do it to you.

[Mysterious Gurl]

What do you mean SO?

 

Miya xx

[Dako]

His significant other. The other woman.

[xblondyx]

Just remember to be strong and resist the urge to contact him again, either in person, on the phone or by letter/e-mail/text. Contacting him will only take you back to step one and it will make things even more difficult; it may give you false hope, pull you in the opposite direction and it will hurt you more to cut off contact again.

 

I completely agree with the above, going through it myself! I say don't contact him, cut him out of your life. It will be hard but things do get better.

[justmoi]

I think he best way to get him out your head....

 

Condition urself and train ur brain to see the reality of this situation...

 

He is NOT with u...

He is with SOMEONE ELSE...its that simple

 

IF he wanted u he would choose to be with u completely, but then why would u want a guy who is cheating on the women he has chosen to make a commitment too.

 

You seem like a great girl u deserve an honest man all for yourself!

 

This is abit raw so forgive me..i was kind of in this situation ( but i didnt kno it) the thought that helped me get over him quickly was that he was going with her and me sexually without a care in the world..also no contact ..cant stress that enough.

 

takecare hun x

[Mysterious Gurl]

I do

 

I remind myself everyday that he's not mine and all I can do is be a big wuss and cry about it.

 

It really breaks my heart that I was so stupid. I just sometimes wish I could give someone my emotions so that they knew what I was suffering. Ideally .. I should add his SO back to my contact list so that she doesn't suspect anything between us, then I think ... why should I so that he can have best of both worlds and she can rub my face in it that he's hers not mine???

 

I don't hate him .. far from it. I just hate the situation, but in the end .. I understand him, he's the only person I can really confide in at times .. we seem to share a lot in common and he never judges me.

 

I just do not understand myself sometimes ](*,)

 

Enjoy the rest of your day,

 

Miya xx

[justmoi]

I really really can relate to you...its soo hard...

Cry girl! ..Its so healthy for you to.

I use to cry when i thought of the rawness but reality of the situation also for the loss what id dreamed we'd be...but this day right now..im on top of the world sooo strong that i walked from a awful situation..give urself a sometime u will feel just like i do.

 

Yeh i still 'think' bout stuff but the thoughts dont 'hurt' meor make me feel sick anymore!

I guess it doesnt help when the appear like a genuinely good person..i can relate to that too.

 

STAY STRONG

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hey,

 

I feel a bit better already actually

 

Was just reading a very interesting thread about being single and the positive sides and even though my relationships haven't been great (and I haven't had many seeing as I'm 17) I kinda smiled at some of the reasons as to why it's great to be single.

 

I'm sorry I keep pestering you with posts ... but like I have said before, I really appreciate having somewhere to rant and explain my deepest feelings about things.

 

Thanks,

 

Miya xx

[itsallgrand]

You know how you fall out of love?

 

You hit the dirt, baby. Get a few cuts and bruises. Brush yourself off and go: whoaaa. What's next?

 

You've only just touched on what is possible for you! You are going to love deeper yet. So,...why not enjoy the ride?

 

I'm glad you're feeling better.

[shademan]

i always loved this topic , anyways im no expert nor im gonna give you advice but there is a saying that says ,"why do we fall ?, to pick ourselves up again .." anyways , i dont think falling out of love is the answer to your problems , but i think is to fall in love all over again with someone that respects you , cherishes you and appreciates your feelings and who you are , such person will make you over come any sadness or grief in your life , because in the end of the day we all need someone by our side to listen to us and share our lives with .

[Mysterious Gurl]

Hey,

 

It's always kind of hard to accept when your currently in love and have had your heart broken that you can actually find someone new.

 

I think that anyway ..

 

Thanks for your post!

 

Miya xx

[teacup]

when i looked at his face the last night i saw him and i saw this ugliness on it. i used to think he had a handsome face but then i realized he radiated a lot of meanness, coldness, selfishness, cruelty and that just totally killed it for me. as i used to say, if i had a d*** it would have gone completely limp right then and there. (excuse the profanity). but yeah, his ugly insides made him ugly outside and i completely lost all feeling and desire to see him.

 

what a gross mean person. yuck, i do not want to be around someone like that.