what is wrong with me again i wish for death

[NikE-ElitE]

all the pressuure seems to close in on me, from school, from being expected to accomplish great things in sports my mother is crazy she is always yelling, my depression, the fact i put myself in a coma before with pills in a suicide attempt, feelings of emtieness and the feeling that iam hollow. every day is horrible, thier just battles after battle after battle after battle after battle... no one would expect me to be suicidal or be depressed, why would i be i have everything! friends , a girlfriend who loves, outer strength, but i dont know all and everything has a good side and a bad side when u do what i have done in sports and life it seems that u r expected by all to keep doing this until u fail or die and if u fail you are now worthless and meaningless to everyone. i dont know thats just what it feels like and some things i havnt metioned because iam far too tired to go into detail about everything. iam sick in the mind i want to die and... well theres a bottle of pills sitting id say.. about 2 feet away from me theres relief about 2 * * * *ing feet away from me. maybe everyone will think differntly about me when they are notified of the fact that iam dead. iam just to tired of fighting uphill battles with everyone and everything iam spent and dont know what to do and thats why i posted this short and typical cry for help, maybe someone can adivise me on how to deal with overwhelming problems well thier overwhelming to me

[mmmending]

you sound very isolated in this and you deserve to be happy, and posting here signals that you want to be happy.. by posting here, you've already done most of the work, and give yourself credit for doing so

 

if you are in USA, look at this page: link removed

 

call 1 800 273 8255

 

if you are in Canada, look here:

link removed

 

call 1 800 668 6868

 

describe to the counsellor on the other end of the line what you have described here.. tell the person straight up "i need help" .. and get help

 

it sounds easy for me to say, but there is no overwhelming problem, either real or perceived that cannot be gotten beyond, and i wouldn't expect you to believe it, unless i hadn't seen this phenom. with my own eyes

 

you are an athlete, and understand the meaning of training, practice and coaching.. you just need a little training, practice and coaching with those worries that have really gotten you down

 

there are good people out there who can help, and who know how to keep it real.. give them a chance and please call the numbers i've listed

[Sn0man]

When you are dead, people will think "you're dead". Nothing special. Suicide is a cheap way out, and by far not the way to go, my friend. Life is full of rich moments, happiness, friends and family, good times, bad times, and worse times. Take the good with the bad and throw a grain of salt over your shoulder. Nothing is ever as bad as it seems, no matter what. You're very young and expectred to have these kind of feelings; we all do. Just don't act on them, you won't live to regret it.

 

Sn0man

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Hey darl, I'm really sorry to hear your back to this! I wish i could have been able to help you sort through things before it got so bad. Any problem looks hard to deal with when you have depression because you just cant think straight. I really hope you get the help you need because you helped me so muh when i've needed it in the past! Please hang in there! I'm always here if you need a m8 love always rozi!

[Lita43]

Wow Hon,

I sure hope you didn't take those pills and even though you think that taking your own life is the answer, it isn't and you aren't thinking of all those friends, gf and family that would be devistated!

Maybe you need to take some pressure off of yourself with the sports and kind of sounds like you're being forced into it.

Don't let anybody make you feel like less of a person or human being for not wanting to do the sports right now.

I know you said your Mom was crazy and yelling at you all of the time and you didn't mention Dad, but you need to tell her or Dad that you are depressed and have been thinking about suicide.

How about a school counselor?

Seriously I don't know what I would have done without mine and he was such a great support for me when I was growing up.

Anti-depressants can do you a world of good and you can feel a little more relaxed and focused.

Alot of people worry that if they go on medication that they won't be themselves anymore, but with the right one you will be yourself and better at coping with life.

Stress and chemical inbalance in the brain doesn't do anybody any good, so please get some medical help A.S.A.P.

Don't throw in the towel, cuz life can be more than sweet!!!

I will pray for you and please let all of us know how you're doing.

 

Hugs, Lita~

 

God Grant Me The Serenity To Accept The People I Cannot Change, The Courage To Change The One I Can and The Wisdom To Know It's Me!

 

Quote: "A Day You Don't Learn Anything New Is A Day Wasted!" Lita~

[Lita43]

Hi Sweetie,

Just wanted to check up on you and when I didn't see anything new, I got so scared and had to walk away for awhile and think.

I have such a really sick feeling in my gut and could just cry for you.

God does everything for a reason, but I just want you to know that you were in my prayers and hope that you didn't die.

What freaks me out even more is that in my religious beliefs (just mine and not pushing religion on anybody) that it is a sin to take your own life.

God gave it to you and it is up to him when to take it, so I fear that anyone who does commit suicide that they'll go to the dark place. Yikes!!!

Please God, "PLEASE" I hope you are ok and will write and let us know and will feel tortured until I do hear something.

Maybe you did take the pills and got to the hospital in time and are in the hospital right now!

Ok, I have to stop freaking out, but it won't be easy.

I'll keep praying and checking.

If your still with us, I'm gonna give you a big smack upside your head for scaring me (jk) and give you lots of hugs!!!

Write back soon!

 

Always, Lita~

[Bethany]

I know this may sound odd to you and you might not agree at first but please think about it...All that pressure is your own making. You allow it to build up inside you and then the stress of trying to deal with plus all that pressure eventually drags you down. Try to find ways of relaxing, think about that feeling inside you, that arghhhhh feeling. It comes from inside you. Nobody puts it there. Ok things happen but the feeling is your own.

 

It's obvious that you are not happy and that something has to give before you end up in a coma again or dead.. If you cannot cope with everything, decide whether you should drop something or not. Decide what is most important to you.. Ask yourself if there is anything I can do to make it better for yourself instead of trying to do everything. Choose one or two things that you have a passion for and want to do and drop the rest.. Do something for yourself for a change.

Your mental health and well being is more important than anything and anyone. And if people around you don't like it, tough on them. It's there problem because This is YOUR life.

 

Also.. Your Mum shouts because she is stressed too and doesn't feel like she is being heard, the les she feels heard, the louder she shouts. It's no the best way to communicate your feelings but I'm sure she is doing her best.