How to master the internet dating game.

[Budman]

I agree with the above poster.

 

And Luke you've got a lot learned so far.

 

Honestly, regular dating is the same. Most people don't get 2nd dates honestly.

 

I think I have more women wanting me then I know truthfully lol.

 

Honestly, I just want one!

 

That's all!

[Luke Skywalker]

Plenty of fish site has some nice feed-back features - being a free site, such as a rating system to see how your picture would rate.

 

I've tried putting my online picture on for rating, and it has turned out to be an absolute disaster, and would probably lead to the reason to why I'm not at all popular on the internet, with the exception that I was lucky to meet whomever I have meet to date, and that was only due to my own persistance and fact that I seemed to have been doing most of the chasing, or the girl on the other side was desperate and seemed to get very poor responses herself. (Not that I'm complaining, I like desperate women, the crazier the better as I feel more at home). My first profile also attempted to attract desperate types or try to get people to feel sympathy for me and feel sorry for me rather than presenting itself as an attractive type of guy who is confident with women.

 

Now, I've determined a possible zinger. The plentyoffish rating system shows that men like my picture, as I only had two votes for it and both of them were men. Not one woman voted for my pic on that site. What I'm currently doing now is putting my photo up on a couple of other 'rating' sites to get some further feed-back. I have several photos and really do not know what to make of them.

 

If it turns out I get bad reviews all over the place, then it would lead to a choice of either pulling my online pics from my profile, or going to a professoinal studio to get some pics done up, although I dont think I'm going to spend $ 500 on a photo shoot just for online purposes, but I guess I'll have to shop around if it comes down to that. Anyway, before I do that, if the pics are really bad then I'll come back here for feedback. Having them checked by two different rating sites.

 

If you know any other rating sites, please post them here. I'll be back later to update this post as to the rating sites I have posted my online pic.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

just be yourself

Yeah, sure, show them the true you through your words as they immediately skip down to see your pic. Hey, if they like your pic, maybe, just maybe they'll read your profile. "Be yourself" works for everything except for the shallow world of internet dating, where a picture is worth more than 1000 words. Even that annoying guy on eHarmony changed his tune to something to the likes of: "When compatibility is enhanced by physical attraction..."

[arrowbee]

I used to be really curious about how a woman's experience differed from a man's, when it comes to online dating.

 

Once, while I was very bored and zonked out on a drug which I shall not name, I tried to imagine what kind of online personal ad I'd write if I had been born a woman. I posted the result to Craigslist and I got two dozen responses on the first day alone. Even the replies that were from successful, funny, attractive men, just seemed....boring. Nobody stood out, for ANY reason.

 

The problem with online dating is, you can't see the weaknesses and frailties of the person you are talking to, and this makes them seem a lot less human. Even if you say you're "shy", there are so many variations of shyness that it is impossible to picture what someone is like just from that one word.

 

I suspect that weaknesses and frailties are what REALLY attract ordinary people to each other.

[teacup]

i dont know about internet dating. how do you really know whether you have a connection with a person through internet?

 

i prefer to see them upfront in person.

 

*boink* pm1: can i have you?

*boink* pm2: give me now.

*boink* pm3: you are mine.

 

pm4,5,6,7,8: *grope* *smoochies*

[Spugly Fuglet]

Never tryed it never going to I think.

[Luke Skywalker]

I used to be really curious about how a woman's experience differed from a man's, when it comes to online dating.

 

Once, while I was very bored and zonked out on a drug which I shall not name, I tried to imagine what kind of online personal ad I'd write if I had been born a woman. I posted the result to Craigslist and I got two dozen responses on the first day alone. Even the replies that were from successful, funny, attractive men, just seemed....boring. Nobody stood out, for ANY reason.

 

But you are a man, right? Anyway, it is said that many online woman think that guys are phonies, and one of the compliments I had about one of my profiles - I believe the one posted earlier on it, is that is resonated that I was sincere, honest, and had a unique way of expressing myself. However, I sent a whole batch of smileys out and followed up with those who smiled back at me. That would be the irony of that.

 

I've had two desperate profiles up on lavalife. On the intimate section, I was a 30 year old virgin looking to be deflowered by someone. Some people took it on.

 

The second desperate profile, is something I believe I posted here earlier saying in effect - do you want to go out with me? I'm begging you too, anyone... (well, it was a nice long profile, but effectively that's what it says), and I got two dates out of it with two different people, and one person who has yet to see me.

 

But, I was still dissatisfied with the results, since it seems like I was remotely popular - so far, it has been the luck of the draw or pure luck rather than any online Don-Juan skills. When you lack interest from virtually like 99% of women online, and you have to either send smileys like crazy, or a bunch of paid or non-paid (depending on the site) mails out, then it makes you feel like those who do end up dating you are either crazy, or they are patronizing you because they felt sorry for what was written in that profile but they will not be interested in you as a 'real' guy or boyfriend material when it comes down to it. I dont like that feeling. That's why I made this thread to hopefully get to the bottom of why I'm not getting the type of response I want, or if there is a shot of even being somewhat popular on the internet.

.

The problem with online dating is, you can't see the weaknesses and frailties of the person you are talking to, and this makes them seem a lot less human. Even if you say you're "shy", there are so many variations of shyness that it is impossible to picture what someone is like just from that one word.

 

But women are looking for someone who is masculine or strong, not someone who is virtually pan-handling for dates and has an unattractive photo up.

 

Like I said, I'm not necessarily complaining about my online experience, but if you are going to start putting obvious red-flags on a photo - such as, hi there, I'm a 30 year old virgin who is living with my parents and never had a girlfriend before, do you want to go out with me? -- I dont know if it will lead to the type of responses that would make people happy with internet dating. So, I guess you have to lie and come accross as successful right?

 

I suspect that weaknesses and frailties are what REALLY attract ordinary people to each other.

 

I dont know, what it may attract is patronage and empathy. I guess some people marry people out of pure pity as in the Back to the Future movie, when in the beginning of the movie it's learned that Loraine married Marty Mcflie out of pity due to some accident. Anyway....

[Luke Skywalker]

i dont know about internet dating. how do you really know whether you have a connection with a person through internet?

 

It's just some weird chemistry I guess. It's one of those blue moon things, but usually, if I feel chemistry with someone online, usually it goes somewhere. If I dont feel any chemistry, then no matter what I write or do, usually it goes nowhere. One of those weird things I guess.

[Luke Skywalker]

So far on the website called hot or not at link removed is 5.3

on the scale of hotness on one of my photo shoots, given 25 evaluations. It is notable that some of the evaluations were as high as 8, but there were also quite a number of 1's, 2's and 3's as well.

 

However, the site does not reveal exactly who is doing the evaluating, but it would lead insights that I'm fractionally slightly less attractive than the average guy, but I'm not ugly. As beauty is sort of in the eye of the beholder, it's possible that I could be attractive to some girls, but that would be anolomous or haphazard, and more of an exception than a rule.

 

A photo on a dating site probably wouldn't mean anything much in terms of being a turn-off in itself or decreasing the odds if I didn't have a photo, but given the level of male competition on most sites, I would have to assume that if your picture is less than an 7 or 8, then it is unlikely to be popular with girls on those sites.

 

I have a couple of other online pics that I intend to be evaluating on that site later. It's a great site for anonymous evaluation of your online pics. If you know of any other great sites of evaluating pics in ratings, please post them here.

 

** UPDATED EDIT **

 

I've now reviewed my ratings there again, and it has actually gone further down to 4.9. I'll keep it on until there is a more balanced type of connection, maybe up to 100 or so should stabalize a score. But generally, it appears the looks on that particular photo are less than average, and would contribute to a very haphazard type of dating result.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

So far on the website called hot or not...

You can stop right there. Hot or Not is not a reliable source because you have angry people who will rate you low regardless or will simply press "5" to bypass you for someone else, like always choosing "C" on an SAT. Try using us as a source, we're more honest than that puppet show over there.

[Daddy Bear]

if you got both 1's and 8's it just shows how much beauty is ABSOLUTELY in the eye of the beholder, and that suggests that anyone can find somebody who thinks he or she is a most attractive prospect.

[Luke Skywalker]

You can stop right there. Hot or Not is not a reliable source because you have angry people who will rate you low regardless or will simply press "5" to bypass you for someone else, like always choosing "C" on an SAT. Try using us as a source, we're more honest than that puppet show over there.

 

Sure, why not, there is a link to the site that will have a pic, but keep in mind, this is one pic out of three that I'm seeking an evaluation on.

 

The link is : link removed

 

There are two more pics I wanted evaluated aside from this that will be added on later. They may be worst or better than this pic, I want to check it out. I should really be starting a new thread on the subject on my picture and how I can improve it, but for now I wanted feedback on a few sites in terms of ratings, and perhaps come here later for advice on improving the pic.

[Luke Skywalker]

if you got both 1's and 8's it just shows how much beauty is ABSOLUTELY in the eye of the beholder, and that suggests that anyone can find somebody who thinks he or she is a most attractive prospect.

 

True, but the majority was less than 5 - only a few rated it 8, and I guess most people couldn't decide what to rate, or just thought I appeared average. That particular pic looks 'average' and I think would likely explain the less than dramatic online results.

[Luke Skywalker]

Well guess I'm really venturing into the shallow world of online dating. There are various services out there I'm finding with my search engines that can create online profiles, even enhance or change digital photos, or provide photo tips.

 

Here are some sites I bumped accross:

 

link removed

 

and

 

link removed

 

If anyone had tried these places or have positive results out of using any services that has helped with your online results, please contribute them here. As with anything else, it appears even online dating odds can be improved with a bit of investment.

[Budman]

Well guess I'm really venturing into the shallow world of online dating. There are various services out there I'm finding with my search engines that can create online profiles, even enhance or change digital photos, or provide photo tips.

 

Here are some sites I bumped accross:

 

link removed

 

and

 

link removed

 

If anyone had tried these places or have positive results out of using any services that has helped with your online results, please contribute them here. As with anything else, it appears even online dating odds can be improved with a bit of investment.

 

Honestly, aside from color/contrast/redeye I don't like the date pix. That's my own view though.

 

Anyway, about your pic. Less down and away, more straight on. You can't see your face, and red eye on you is really bad. Get someone to take a picture of you, or get a tripod.

 

That's my thoughts.

[Luke Skywalker]

Understood. I sort of thought so in the back of my mind that the photo pic wasn't that much of a good one, it sort of rubs off the wrong way with the viewer a bit because of the distance, may be sending wrong messages.

 

Tripod, or get someone else to take it? My mom took those pics at home. Perhaps I should try a studio or something. Dont want to give date pixs a free ride on me if just a few simple changes have to be made.

 

Thanks for the advice, Budman, I'll implement it soon. I had a hunch that my face was somewhat hidden, and one of my best attractive features incidentally is my face, so it really doesn't do any justice I suppose.

[Budman]

If you need someone to edit a pic. Let me know, I'm a photoshop guy.

 

 

 

I will not airspray you though lol.

[Luke Skywalker]

Sure. I'll certainly be pursuing that. I have some offline pics as well I'm going to see if I can digitalize. I'm thinking of putting up some graduation photo shots too as it would make me look like I'm in authority and that I accomplished something. My main prospect actually indirectly gave me this tip when she specifically asked for those photos. I'm hoping to get some copies of the photograph, and digitlize it by tomorrow, send it to her, and also put it into one of the normal pics.

 

So, the pic that was displayed there was alright except the angles appeared off? I'm going to change the primary pic to another one for contrast and I want you to see how that would compare. The change will be made in a few minutes, and you can click on the same link again.

 

It would appeared I made those shots so that it would appear that I would have a better posture, but it seems like the trade-offs in getting such a shot were not worth it, and were counter-productive to the overall quality of the pic. I just placed up another pic with a better shot of my face than the first one, but the posture may be a bit poor, and I'm a bit over dressed.

 

Thanks.

[Budman]

Honestly, posture was fine in my opinion. Its all confidence.

 

As long as you look at someone in their eyes, they will be looking at your eyes.

 

Old Magicians tip

 

Ps. Send as many as you want, cause I'm bored at times. Need something I can work on when I am bored

[Daddy Bear]

that background has to go. although you might have had your lenses and chin up a little higher, i think the reason you're at around 5 has to be because you're framed by a pink curtain. i think the same basic pose in a park-type setting would look a lot better.

[Luke Skywalker]

that background has to go. although you might have had your lenses and chin up a little higher, i think the reason you're at around 5 has to be because you're framed by a pink curtain. i think the same basic pose in a park-type setting would look a lot better.

 

Thank-you. I'll look into that. I underestimated the effect of the background.

[Miss M]

Sure, why not, there is a link to the site that will have a pic, but keep in mind, this is one pic out of three that I'm seeking an evaluation on.

 

The link is : link removed

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Luke!... dude!... that's you???

 

 

Daannnngg!...

 

Hey man, red eye or not, wow, you're hot!

 

Just my opinion though.

 

Nice mustache too...

 

Ah, I'm a lonely woman.... but still, I know what I like

 

Luke, there are LOTS of women who would also like you, yeah.

Find the ones who like how you look, and just ignore the others

 

Good luck!

[Miss M]

And another thing...

 

I didn't even see those dumb pink curtains.

 

For the right girl, they won't matter either.

 

btw I gave you a "10"...

[Daddy Bear]

well played smilies, Miss M! Luke, note that she thinks you're hot but called your curtains dumb. i think i made my point.

[Miss M]

well played smilies, Miss M! Luke, note that she thinks you're hot but called your curtains dumb. i think i made my point.

Oh, but the MAIN point I was making, was that I honestly didn't even see them. When I read your post, I thought, "WHAT pink curtains???" I actually had to click back to the pic to see what the heck you were talking about. LOL

 

Yeah, Luke, you're definitely a hottie. And hey, I don't even like rating people in that way... but this time... well, just couldn't help myself.