How to master the internet dating game.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

So what if women don't even give you a chance because of your picture, which you've done your best to look good in? What if you've "lowered your e-standards" and still get no responses? How, oh mighty Internet Dating Gurus, do you even get someone to look beyond the picture?

 

You can't.

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, I have not experienced an ABSOLUTE problem as it pertains to internet dating, it seems for me it's the luck of the draw and things just turn up when I least expect them in a sort of favorable way.

 

However, that's still far from being an online DJ, first of all, I really dont have much choice, other than being lucky enough that those who responded to me are all Indian-looking Christian women, which is what I wanted anyway. Go figure.

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, I think I'll have to concede with the above poster (K.O - what's his name) for now.

 

So far, I've meet only one girl I feel connected with, and it seems that I'm wasting my time meeting any girl that's over 28 years old, and just do not relate to women who are say older than 26 years without some sort of friction. Anyway, I'd have to make another thread about age differences.

 

Most people under that age are probably already swarmed by email attention, and I am really surprised to see people like Budman who are successful at this, so it seems that any guy can be successful, but still he's yonger than I am, and may more likely attract girls within his age category.

 

So - it's summer where I am, and I'm pulling the plug on online dating probably until October. I probably will have more luck meeting people offline, at least you know if you have chemistry or not - on the internet, online chemistry and offline chemistry are two different things.

 

Anyway, with such excellent weather here, it's a sin to stay home when you can go outside and enjoy the summer. So, goodbye internet dating.

 

If anyone else has any luck with online dating, feel free to continue this thread, and explain your success story.

[shar82me]

there's this community site ( link removed ) im currently registered, for free, and its really cool. you can download ringtones and wallpapers there. plus, there are lots of interesting people there, specially girls like me. add me up once you have open one, im sharlotte.

[MI_Shell]

I would not rely on it as a way to meet someone but to just pass the time. Of course anonymity is essential as people can pretend to be what they are not.

 

I tried it ages ago and liked some people then they suddenly stopped writing which was disappointing so only take with a grain of salt. But good luck with it because you hear of rare cases where relationships actually flourish.

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, yonge padawans, I'm really involved in the sosuave DJ board, and am learning to approach starnger girls anywhere within 3 seconds, I've already got 4 numbers so far by engaging in convo's with some hot babes and closing for their number/emails. It really isn't that difficult. I'm no longer that shy of a guy anymore, and am having a really great time, just going up to girls and flirting. Much more fun than online dating.

 

Join the adventures of Luke Skywalker at link removed and read the posts to see any updates. And, there's lots of eye candy in the summer time here.

[corvidae]

I can't do that. I mean I literally can't do that. It's not 'me'.

[Luke Skywalker]

It has been determined that some women online will play 'cat and mouse' games. Often they will claim they are 'busy' or tend to be 'unavailable' for some reason or another or are evasive. A way of not caring would be to see the larger perspective of this and sort of treat it as game like. Unless you are 'blocked' there is no game over until you quit.

[Luke Skywalker]

Oh, I just realised, when setting dates up, have a place in mind, and offer two different times to meet and say you have about an hour, rather than asking the girl to do everything for you. This is not a cat and mouse game anymore. The dating interaction (i.e. setting up a date), as read in the HTSWW book is an important interaction where women judge what type of guy you are, whether you are generative, creative and decisive, or if you dont know what you are doing.

 

A woman could make a decision where if you are insecure about making a dating arrangement to not follow up on making a counter-arrangement, making a perceived 'blow-off' a simple matter of a failure in this particular type of interaction.

 

The cat and mouse component only relegates to if a woman doesn't offer another schedule, or is keeping you guessing in terms of pursuit as to if she is really interested or into you or not.

 

Thus, when setting up dates on the internet, have a seat, and think of two places to meet, and email it.

[pianoguy]

I've been browsing this thread but haven't read everything. I need to offer a postive view of internet dating- I met my boyfriend of 1 year off the internet and there's no way it would've happened without. So yes it does work sometimes.

 

I will concede that it isn't very much fun, which is why I recommend taking the relationship offline as soon as possible. Exchange phone or something so you can hear a voice, and arrange to meet relatively early on. Otherwise any excitement fizzles pretty fast.

 

Work on making a good profile. Make it fun and lighthearted, nothing turns me off as much as one of those emo profiles that's like "sup. whatevah. you want to contact me and you can find out more right, yeah" Bad grammar turns me off too. And, for the love of God, SMILE in your profile picture. Everyone instantly gains 10 hot points if they smile.

 

Don't bother waiting for people to contact you. It might happen, it might not. If you want to date, contact them. It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl.

 

I used Yahoo Personals and liked it the best. What I would do is carefully sift through as many profiles in a day, reserving the ones that looked interesting. I would then store them for a week and sift through them some more, deciding which ones looked the most promising. I would then sign up for the service for a month and e-mail a few at one time. I recommend the e-mail as opposed to the smileys- most people don't answer the smileys. Write a personal e-mail, and comment on something in the person's profile to show you care. Give an e-mail or an IM so they can contact you without paying, if they desire (it's polite.).

 

If you're judicious it doesn't cost a heck of a lot- it's not free by any means but if you're willing to go a month or two without contacting people (like I did) then you can get by with $30 a month every now and again.

[Luke Skywalker]

Yup. Going through some e-mail bootcamp at this point and trying to set myself not to care about outcomes and moving on in process.

 

I'm a bit shy on the phone and tend to go MSN, and I think that's a good suggestion to try and get a phone number, and put the exchange as much away from the internet as possible as things tend to get jinyxed sometimes when it stays in cyberspace for too long. I notice that there is a better connection when you talk to someone on the phone, but then again, you could also get an answering machine so it's all just the same. It's easier to have no expectations.

[pianoguy]

Well, if you get an answering machine you call another time. Or you leave a message and ask them to call you. Or you arrange beforehand for a mutually convenient time and call then. There is some requirement for the other person to participate too- I had one guy- we had arranged to meet and we were IM'ing the day before and he had forgotten that we had arranged to meet. I dropped him like a rock- if I'm so unimportant that he can't remember what obligations he's made to me then I shouldn't bother.

 

IM is fine, in my opinion, but I think the phone is better and I would try to move to that as quickly as possible.

[corvidae]

I wish for Goodness sake that the women on these sites would say hello the men once in while. What is up with woman that they can't make any effort?

[pianoguy]

Well, in our society it's still traditional for the man to make the first move. I know some girls that don't even bother with guys unless they're asked out. It's not fair, it's just how it is.

 

On the other hand, I know girls that pursue guys pretty aggressively and ask them out even when the guy clearly isn't interested. So it does work both ways.

 

I guess my advice would be- whether you're a boy or a girl don't wait to be asked out. It might happen, it might not. You need to be proactive and pursue someone if you're interested. Yes, there does need to be some reciprication at some point, but if you're interested in someone you should take it on yourself to initiate contact.

 

And this applies to many aspects of life, not just dating. It's the old proverb- "If you want something done, do it yourself." If you want to get some project going at work it's usually best to start it yourself, rather than delegate it to someone else or try to get someone else to start it. That is, if you want the project to get done and in a quality manner.

[biddo]

hahha internet dating works, but theres alot of jaded people online. Ive met some girls off the net.

[Budman]

I wish for Goodness sake that the women on these sites would say hello the men once in while. What is up with woman that they can't make any effort?

 

my girlfriend initiated contact with me, infact my last 3 girlfriends did

 

Just gotta make the right profile

[Luke Skywalker]

I've decided to purchase the link removed system from Grant, and paid $ 127 US for both e-book and audio books.

 

They have a 60 day money back guarantee, and so far I think the material has potential.

 

That site has also recommended getting a new photo-shoot at

link removed which costs $ 150 US, but has a partial money back guarantee if the new photo album doesn't work (they will refund up to $90 US or give a free re-shoot).

 

I'm sparing no expense, I have some funds, a new card and I'm spending some money (risk free with these money back guarantees) with the hopes of improving my game online. I do not have a natural online game or the prelevant advice on this thread has not 'clicked' with me and I sort of got discouraged with the online scene.

 

In fact, my last profile was on December, 2006, and it was a fresh inspiration going with the season of Christmas where I dressed up as Santa Clause and made a witty type of profile that got people's attention and the results seemed good (meet a few people that month). In January, 2007 I removed the last standing internet profile and just gave up on online dating since I suffered from writer's block in writing a new profile and results were quite skimpy and discouraging. (To be honest I also had a gf I picked up online during that time - but also there was a sense of discouragement of the online scene since I wasn't getting that many girls wanting to meet me - and those that did sort of didn't go anywhere in the long-run.)

 

However, I've decided that I'm going to do a major overhaul with my online game and will be virtually thowing $ 300 US at the problem in both photo shoots and mastering the game (which if it doesn't work, I should get back at least $220 US, losing $ 80 US in process).

 

I'll be reporting back here once I've had a chance to really try out the photos and concepts on both these programs to see if it really works since I'd consider myself a sort of poster boy on this given my lack of success online thus far.

[SexySadie7]

Quietgrl is right. I hate paying $20 just for the priviledge of some keyboard jockey being able to chat me up, lead me on, demand my pic, and then be on his way!

Hey.. i'm not Paris Hilton. I have bills to pay. Even yahoo, you gotta pay $19 per month. I'm just not into it, and the photos of the guys I've seen online in the site I'm not attracted to, so to me it would be a waste of time kinda.

I've tried it too, and it just never panned out for me. Not to say it wouldn't work for someone else or maybe myself down the line. I just cannot see wasting anymore of my time in front of my computer hoping someone will be interested in me, spending weeks chatting with them, getting my hopes up, having them arrange a date, only to cancel or come up with some excuse.

I found it to be a waste of time. If yahoo wanted to make their personal site free I think that would be great. And you would think by this time, they really got the buck to do that. Come on, yahoo is huge now!

Anyway... you really only get the sense of whether you have chemistry with somene if you meet them in person.

Cuz someone can always doctor up their photo, or put someone else's up there. I had a friend do that to me. I thought he was great looking, and wrote him, and when we started chatting he admitted the photo he sent wasn't him!

I guess cams are good that way cuz you can see someone in person. But too, people seem to be more promiscious online than in person. I really really don't want to date a guy who thinks it's okay to be masturbating off a bunch of strange girls on the internet or asking them to show off their breasts to him on his webcam. And that seems very prevelant these days.

I want someone with class, and also too, not everyone who's good looking is that photogenic! I take a terrible picture myself. I met this guy IRL who was a gorgeous guy. I saw a picture he had taken of himself. I would of never ever looked him up if I had seen his photo cuz he didn't look attractive at all in the photo.

[SexySadie7]

Thank God Corvidae, You seem like a down-to-earth guy.

I can't do that. I mean I literally can't do that. It's not 'me'.

6

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

Here is how guys can master the internet dating game

 

1: Have a good looking picture

2: Don't be a jerk

 

Number 2 cannot work if number 1 is unavailable because if you don't have a good picture, you are a chat buddy at best and most of the time, you're the one initiating the chat. Meaning, you're hanging around but she's moved on.

[Luke Skywalker]

Here is how guys can master the internet dating game

 

1: Have a good looking picture

2: Don't be a jerk

 

Number 2 cannot work if number 1 is unavailable because if you don't have a good picture, you are a chat buddy at best and most of the time, you're the one initiating the chat. Meaning, you're hanging around but she's moved on.

 

link removed

 

With partial refunds on getting pics done, there is no excuse for not having a good pic.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

link removed

 

With partial refunds on getting pics done, there is no excuse for not having a good pic.

Thank you, I will try that.

[Luke Skywalker]

I've tried lookbetteronline and have gotten no improved results in the online dating venue, leading me to believe, that unless you are a muscular stud or look like a celibrity or something, that any professional photo enhancement does not work.

 

However, they have honoured their partial money back guarantee and thus is something that I would still recommend to people to try.

 

The other e-book product I tried as net2bed-net2wed, however, I didn't seem to connect with the material, and while it seemed to have a good pep up in the beginning, when trying to get to the meat of the matter, I didn't really see anything much there that I could connect to.

 

They also are honouring their money back guarantee so it's a product that I'd recommend people to try to see if it works for them.

 

However, I've tried both these above products and they have not worked for me.

 

I'm quite discouraged from online dating at this time and think I'm going to withdraw from it a bit. I am already seeing someone I meet since December/January, and dont think I need more negativity in my life which seems to come from these sites as it's been nothing but an ego-bust and think I may have better luck staying away from it for now.