Talking about vacations?

[jabele]

Ummm, so I started seeing this guy, and on the fourth date he was already talking about taking vacations with me...and we're talking serious vacations. He asked me to take a trip with him, after school ends for me and before he has to go upstate for a class, to Singapore. My roommate was with us when he first brought it up and she was really surprised by it. He brought it up again tonight...does anyone else find this strange?

 

I personally find it off putting

[LostInMyThoughts]

It's not strange, it's actually pretty common, but I'd say its also a mistake on his part.

 

A good rule is to wait until a person has at least stayed the weekend at your place, before trying to take a weekend (or longer) away.

[BigBen]

Hi !

 

I must admit, it's not something I would say on a 4th date (im a guy in my 30's by the way i dont know how old you are but i will answer in a general way). It seems it could be a few different things. Either hes REALLY mad crazy about you and already hes thinking too far at this stage of your "dating" OR he is someone that gets attached really fast...either way, it's all up to you.

If hes going to fast for you, slow it down, talk to him. Maybe, just maybe, he was really excited about doing something pleasant with you

and/or just said something stupid because hes nervous (good nervous) in your company. God knows the presense of girls made me say stupid things just cause i was nervous back then, i think we all been there lol

Anyhow, maybe by the time your school is finished you will know him better ? Who knows, (i hope not in a week cause then forget all i've said lol) maybe things will change and you will go to Singapore

 

Good luck

[BigBen]

Oh i just saw your age my bad

[itsallgrand]

I find it strange, but not necessarily meaning he is a freak or anything. lol.

 

A guy once asked me, after the third date, to spend a weekend at his cabin. I liked him, but said no. I just didn't feel comfortable being out of my element and alone that much after spending so little time with someone. There were going to be other people there, but still.

We hung out after that, and he was a cool guy. He had a different lifestyle tho.

He was looking for something way more serious and 'fast' than myself.

 

anyways, go with your gut. As always.

[shyanne]

i say...... your one lucky girl!!!!

[RayKay]

I find it a bit off putting - it's that whole "rushing things before they progress naturally" kind of thing. It really does the opposite of making you feel "special" in a way, since he is already doing this without even really knowing you...so does he do that to others too?

 

I was dating a guy before my current boyfriend whom started wanting to take a weekend trip away after only a couple weeks together. He was very sweet, but I felt really pressured really soon by it. I turned him down on that request, and we did not date for much longer after that...it just was too much too soon (he was always bringing gifts too, and I really felt uncomfortable with it). There was nothing wrong with him, but I just felt like he was rushing things too soon, and I could of been "anyone" really.

[btbt]

It does sound a little fast, but I don't think you should worry so much about rules and protocols. The bottom line is that you felt uncomfortable when he asked you and you feel uncomfortable about going. So go with your guy. If this guy is worth it, he'll stick around and there will be other trips.

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[Venturer]

If it's just a weekend thing... like going to a wine festival some 2 hours away, or even to the beach... then that's cool.

 

But all the way to singapore? I dunno... that's too much.

[Backstroke03]

Yeah I agree leaving the country is a bit much. A weekend maybe, but still I don't think I'd push that until we are much farther along in the dating process. I am sure it can be a level of comfort issue, sometimes by date four you can feel like you've known someone forever, other times it's just the tip of the iceberg. But regardless, I think he's really rushing it.

[jabele]

So an update: the guy went away for the weekend and had called me while he was gone. I didn't answer. He texted me earlier this week wishing me luck on my finals-- didn't respond. Today I got a text from him syaing: so are we not talking anymore?

 

I don't know what to do about this. I definitely don't want to date this guy- I'm realizing how not my type he is and he totally freaks me out. Plus, I'm sort of interested in someone else anyway...what should I do!?

[Backstroke03]

Fade away, especially if he freaks you out. You can be gracious about it, but I'd just kinda disappear, he'll figure it out.

[jabele]

Nice. I like that way..

[Lansing]

Man.... I don't want to insult you, but, I think that is a cowardly thing to do.... If you have his e-mail send him an e-mail saying you are on different wave lengths and wish him the best in the future. Leave it at that. If he contacts you after, then you can ignore him. (or even send him a text with the same info)....

 

It is cruel to just ignore a guy.......

[jabele]

Man.... I don't want to insult you, but, I think that is a cowardly thing to do.... If you have his e-mail send him an e-mail saying you are on different wave lengths and wish him the best in the future. Leave it at that. If he contacts you after, then you can ignore him. (or even send him a text with the same info)....

 

It is cruel to just ignore a guy.......

 

You're probably right. I shouldn't just ignore him. I don't have his email, meaning Ill haev to call him and address it...

 

I'll have to figure out how to phrase it though...

[CluelessGuy321]

I know a girl I like who asked me to go on vacation with her. Problem is she also just got a boyfriend last december. No idea how to take it.

 

I'm not put off by it, but is this normal? She should be asking her boyfriend to travel with her - not me.