I just turned 25! And have never dated :(

[Miss M]

Can he be labeled as an {mod edit} for practicing on women he is not interested in? Maybe, but the OP is asking for advice on how to get a gf, not how to be a good person.

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't notice him asking for advice on how to be an {mod edit} either.

[Caldus]

So if a woman showed some interest in you while you were gimping, and in rehab, would you disregard her? Hey, you're handsome, toned, athletic... just keep in mind that a banged up knee can't hide all your good stuff... (and it might even be a good ice-breaker ).

 

Anyhow, good luck on the surgery, the recovery ... and all the rest...

 

Yeah really, you could use to it your advantage.

[lifestream]

It can be very difficult at times. In order to get close to someone you have to expose a shred of vulnerability. For example you must talk about yourself. If the person doesn't approve, your ego will be hurt. And vice versa, the interest might not be there in the people that you do meet. It's tough! I'm in your position as well. Other than meeting a girl who was just visiting the country about a 8 or 9 months ago, I wouldn't really say I've met anyone for whom I've felt a strong enough connection to date.

 

It's funny though, because people I am close to tell me I'm a catch! Even a close guy friend who I met at university who's from South Africa said I was a "jewel of a Canadian." How flattering!

 

The difficulty is just meeting people, because you simply MUST be exposed. I usually don't think that some friendships/attactions would develop with certain people, but they just happen.

 

It occurs when you least suspect it, my friend. Just get out there, but at the same time don't think to yourself "I'm out to get a girlfriend." Be yourself, be confident, flirt a little but come off as YOU being the one in control. Come off as if the other person is losing out on something special if they can't make the connection.

 

Bad dates are horrible...and I've been through a couple. But you can quickly move on from them. Don't seek approval, because you are what people should be looking for, not the other way around.

 

And for the record, I've started to practice on girls I'm not interested in. Some girl friends for example...and although they don't fall for me (which I dont want anyway), I can judge the differences in their reactions, in how much they want to engage with me in conversation based on different techniques. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[CluelessGuy321]

I dunno....when I was limping around for the first few weeks after injury, some people were kind to me, while some others just slammed the door in my face when I was limping into restaurants and what not.

[biddo]

so asian bro are u still single or are u seeing some one now?

cos didnt u make that post some time ago ?

 

just wondering for a update.

[Miss M]

I dunno....when I was limping around for the first few weeks after injury, some people were kind to me, while some others just slammed the door in my face when I was limping into restaurants and what not.

OK, but whether you're limping or not, there will always be those kinds of people who are rude, and always others who are thoughtful and kind. The important thing is to give your attention to the ones who treat you the way you like to be treated, and bypass the others. I was just pointing out that dating isn't like sports, and women don't automatically "bench" a guy who is injured. Don't assume that all women will pass you over just because of an injury, because I know for a fact there are some(many?) who won't. And hey, some of us will look twice and thrice, swooning at every single guy who lifts weights ...whether he's limping or not!. Just don't be so quick to sideline yourself.

 

Also, I suspect you will be on crutches for a while? If so, you'll be using your arms to support yourself, right? So those toned biceps will be flexed a lot, still getting a workout... and in public places?! Yeah, some of us females will notice that! (and be sure to wear short sleeves! Ya see, there are some guys who lift weights, and then they walk around in public flexing for the women, but they don't even have a legitimate excuse like you will. It really just depends on your attitude, having a good regard for yourself.

 

Good luck!

[CluelessGuy321]

Miss M, I'd give ya a bear hug. You're awesome.

[Miss M]

Aww, thanks for the compliment.

 

Anyways, I'm glad you're feeling better, (keep it up! 8))...

 

and thanks for the hug too, I'll take it! [swooning] ahhh

[Altruist]

Its not always a great idea to expose your vulnerability to women or to exhibit any form of melodrama. Its usually perceived as a sign of weakness. My two cents.

[CluelessGuy321]

Its not always a great idea to expose your vulnerability to women or to exhibit any form of melodrama. Its usually perceived as a sign of weakness. My two cents.

 

Well, I'm on the other extreme. I'm pretty stoic.

 

And when it comes to talking about serious things and feels and what not, it's much easier to talk to male friends than women.

 

As much as I've heard about how women are more "intouch" with their feelings....I just don't think that's been true in my experience.

[Altruist]

...And when it comes to talking about serious things and feels and what not, it's much easier to talk to male friends than women...

 

 

Agreed. Its better to 'let it out ' at your male buddies. IMO women accept the sensitive, melodramatic talk only when its coming from another woman.

[CluelessGuy321]

Agreed. Its better to 'let it out ' at your male buddies. IMO women accept the sensitive, melodramatic talk only when its coming from another woman.

 

I think guys are just as sensitive as women. A lot of women just aren't good shoulders to lean on.

[Caldus]

Agreed.

 

I am extremely sensitive in general.

[licorice_allsort]

I have to admit, I'm glad there is someone else in the same boat at me. I'm in much the same situation, never had a boyfriend, sex or a proper date or anything. I'm making more of an effort now, goin out most nights and stuff but I understand how difficult it can be to go out in public and see young happy couples, and going to all your friends' weddings (I have two to attend next month and one the month after) and wish that you could have that too. I used to look almost exactly like Ugly Betty, lol, which is why I never had any dates in high school! It's uncanny the resemblance actually, but when I went to college I sort of 'blossomed' as my mother so eloquently puts it, and I look considerably more attractive now. But it's so damn hard to find a guy I'm comfortable with, because of my 'lack of experience' and shyness I guess. So CluelessGuy, I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm part Asian as well and haven't had too many issues with that. There's the odd guy who is not into 'ethnic girls' as he said but he's the only one.

 

But you just sort of need to be willing to take risks. I'm not goin to pubs and clubs, I think I wrote in another post that I go out to the speedway or videogame arcades on saturday night (major nerd, lol) and am attempting speed dating and have met quite a few nice guys and been on casual 'coffee dates' but nothing has eventuated yet. I guess patience is important, the right girl will come along for you, probably when you least expect it. I'm hoping the same will happen for me with the right guy, fingers crossed. Best wishes CluelessGuy, you seem like such a sweetheart and are good-looking too so I'm sure thigns will happen for you sooner rather than later. Good Luck!

[Caldus]

Yeah. Take risks man. You have nothing to lose. An essential component of a confident man is one who is willing to take risks in life.

 

How does speed dating work anyway? I mean I've seen it in a movie, but I always wonder how it is actually done in real life.

 

And wow, awesome that you go to the arcades on a Saturday night instead of those boring bars and clubs.

[licorice_allsort]

Well some dating agencies run speed dating nights for different age groups (under 30's 30+ etc or just open nights for anyone to attend) or you can sometimes see them advertised around the place. You have to register first, and then its exactly how you see it on tv. Usually at a cafe or nightclub or something. Usually the ladies sit at the tables and the men move from table to table after a couple of minutes talking to each person. You do meet some nice people. Some complete jackasses too but you have to take the good with the bad.

[Lily04]

hey,

 

i can't really see your pic well, but you look fine... i think you just need confidence. don't worry about it.. i'm 22 and haven't had much relationship experience either but you'd never guess because i have other qualities to make up for it... just emphasize what you DO have, and girls will start to like that too. don't even mention any of the stuff u haven't done... they won't notice. or they'll think it's cute if they truly like you.

[Caldus]

Hey CluelessGuy, I don't know if this was already discussed before, but have you tried online dating? Craigslist is a great site for meeting potential partners.

[jas56]

Ha Craigslist there are some really interesting people on there. Well clueless don't worry so much about it, I know exactly how you feel. I have been out here in CA for a yr now and hardly know anyone. Theres nothing wrong with you, its better to wait and find that someone then be in turbulent relationship. It will happen for you.

[jas56]

Besides i agree with everyone else, your cute.

[Beehive]

You are very cute! You seem very sweet as well. I think the problem may be that woman are not always aggressive. I am sure that many girls have liked you, but usually the guy is the go getter. My fiance' is painfully shy and didn't date anyone but me. he had a one nighter from some woman he met online but t hat is it. He was attracted to me but would not ask me out. I liked him too and just thought he was not interested. Finally (since i am the outgoing bold one), I asked him out and 4 years later we are engaged. So, I think it is because some woman wait for men to ask them out. I am sure chics dig ya. Oh, proactiv is great for reducing scarring over time. it takes a while.

[biddo]

Well, I'm on the other extreme. I'm pretty stoic.

 

And when it comes to talking about serious things and feels and what not, it's much easier to talk to male friends than women.

 

As much as I've heard about how women are more "intouch" with their feelings....I just don't think that's been true in my experience.

 

i tell my mom almost everything.

[lifestream]

It's funny because I agree with this, yet I'm not aggressive at all.

 

My sister has told me which of her friends had crushes on me at some point and I didn't even realize it! And some I knew connections were there with girls other than my sister's friends but I just didn't pursue.

 

So it just goes to show you, you NEVER know who's falling in love with you until you take the bull by the horns and find out for yourself.

[Imipolex G]

It kinda tickles my fancy to think that there might've been many girls who had crushes on me and I didn't know it.

 

I figure that's pretty unlikely though.

[CluelessGuy321]

So, I was sitting with 2 friends at a BJ's a few days ago, and we somehow got to talking about women and relationships and what not. I let it slip that I'm completely inexperienced, and they go on to tell me how, even though a handful of girls might find that "cute", most will want someone who knows what their doing, and that I really need to go out and try stuff.

 

Anyways, the waitress was good looking, and they started up a conversation with her and really got into it with her. She was very pleasant and all, but I was pretty quiet. Smiled, but didn't say too much. Gotta work on conversation like these guys. They seemed to pull stuff from outta nowhere and strike up all sorts of topics with her.