I over-analyse everything... help!

[PRSOV]

I don't know what it is... Is it my personality or is it something I can change? I know I am a pisces [starsign] and we are deep thinkers about everything, but everything that happens I always over analyse way too much I think about it over and over... how could this situation have been different? How could I have made this better? Why did this happen... Talking to others about this they agree, I take things too seriously and need to let myself go a little, but the problem is I just can't let myself do that. I don't know why I do this... I work in an industry where safety is absolutely paramount and the work needs to be examined carefully and so sometimes I think this state of mind is transferred to my normal life as well.

 

Is this something that I can really change? Sometimes I think this is a trait that I am going to be stuck with for many more years... There have been times where I have been talking to a girl on the phone, after I hang up I will think about one sentence I have said and repeatedly wish I hadn't said it and make myself a deal that I won't swear again.

 

Does anyone have a problem like this? Any advice on what I can do to try and overcome and and let myself relax it a bit...

[xmrth]

Your sign has nothing to do with it-- it's just how you are. Blaming it on a sign will make it more difficult for you to get better because you'll always think that's a good reason. I can tell you right now I was worse than you and I'm a Cancer. I'd actually cancel things by thinking about what I COULD do wrong, or what could go wrong, and I'd think and think and think and it was just a continuous cycle, much like what you're digging yourself into.

 

Basically, what do you think will happen? Like with that phone call you used as an example-- what happened? What difference does it make? The only way to overcome it is to face it. State your fears to yourself, and pay attention to what you did that you're over analyzing. Then pay attention to the outcome, and you'll see it almost -never- turns out the way you fear by over analyzing.

 

You just have to face it and let it go. It won't happen over night, but it can definitely be helped. It's just difficult because you have to face what you're over analyzing. Nobody's going to judge you, and they probably don't even see what it is you're fearing they see. They very well may have absolutely no idea, and you're worrying yourself over nothing.

[Dako]

I was talking to a good friend the other day and described how I deal with indecision. I flip a coin. What color car to buy? green or blue? Which turn to take on a bike ride? Chinese or Mexican for dinner? etc.

Waste your time on trivial decisions or agonize over them? Flip a coin.

For most of life's less important choices, it doesn't matter at all.

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm pieces too. You can see by my latest thread 'logistical problems in flirting', that I too tend to overanalyse. But, sometimes it's good. You wouldn't want to do something stupid, right?

[Tigris]

I too overanalyse things but not all of the time. My birthday falls on the Cancer/Leo Cusp. Sometimes it's a good idea to do it and other times it drives me CRAZY!

 

If I'm not sure about a conversation I've had with my Fiancee then I have to phone her and ask, 'When you said .... what did you mean because I thought you meant...... am I right?' That way there's no misunderstandings and I can finally relax.

[goddess23]

hey well it is part of your personality and it would be difficult to change. however, i do feel that it is a detriment because i dont overanalyse, but on the seldom occasions that i do it feels awful and i feel stupid. there is no point in asking what if questions because destiny is real and i believe that the decisions we make are all for a reason. think about it this way: who you are now is because of your past experiences, all of them, and whether good or bad im sure you do love yourself and wouldnt want to be someone different. embrace the fact that everything happens for a reason and has affected you in some way and you can always make it a positive change (it can always make you stronger and wiser).

[KweenofDenyl]

There's a difference between analyzing and being obsessive/compulsive.

 

When you find yourself doing this and you know you should stop worrying and relax about whatever it is, are you able to stop thinking about it or not?

[Roobuls]

I seen over analysing as a form of creating obsticles in many situations. Over analysing is hardly ever good when your doing it on a regular basis, your just un-motivating yourself, sure its "safe", "secure". But when are the good things safe? Hold ur breathe and jump, be crazy just do it! It easier said, at times i find myself sittin there chewing my nails thinking over everything! And by the end of the day I'm in back in the beginning, just a whole lot more stressed! So start to teach yourself to stop creating more problems by over analysing and just go for it, it will take time and you'll be over analysing yourself without even thinking about it, but nothing ain't gonna get done unless you try, correct?

[Spawn]

I am also a pisces, i do tend to over analyze even the smallest of things in life.

 

Just don't think about it much if its an important decision of your life you can take opinions from your elders, friends and then make your decision. The smallest and not so important ones you have Dako's coin theory.

 

Now don't overanalyse about overanalysing things.

[PRSOV]

It is usually more to do with women, like I will think I shouldn't have said something... then what I should have done instead. I know it is silly, but I just can't help it. Although I guess it is kind of normal when you really really want things to work out with a particular person...

[Mrocza]

I over analyze everything.

 

While it doesn't have a lot to do with how I react to guys, but more how I react to people in general, it's similar.

 

I think you just need to relax. Stop trying to impress the girl or have the conversation flow like a movie script and work with whatever comes- improvise I'm sure the girl herself will be a little at ease when she notices, if she does at all, that you're nervous too.

[Johan]

Good day,

 

Sorry for bringing back to life this old topic but I found it while searching google and read a bit of the posts on this forum, looks like an interesting place.

 

But could you people that have "overcome" the over analyzing please give me some information of what have changed since you stopped over analyzing ?

 

I have been over analyzing everything my entire life... it causes a lot of stress(why I did a search about over analyzing) but I don't believe its such a bad thing??

 

I am 21 and a law student almost finished with my law degree and one of the reasons I think I am so good( not to sound like a douche) with the law is because I over analyze everything and make sure everything is 100% correct. Which I do every second of the day

 

I am just afraid if I do stop to over analyze everything I wont be as good as I currently am(again sorry don't want to sound like a douche) in my law career...

[caro33]

Johan you say it causes a lot of stress but you're not sure it's such a bad thing. I guess it's either an issue for you and you make a plan to address it, or it's not such a big deal and you see it as a characteristic of yours that you live with.

 

I personally analyse things a lot. I am told by everyone around me that I do this more than anyone they know. It can certainly cause problems if I get stuck in an emotional issue and try and anaylse my way through it but don't have enough information (like the sleepless nights spent in my past trying to work our relationships) but like you, it also means that I tend to be able to place stock in my perceptions at work or in study because I robustly tested them.

 

As I have aged I have chosen to see that for me the problem is not that I am over-analytical as a person, but that I can mis-apply my tendency to analyse. It's not a bad thing as a character trait unless you let it get out of control in some way, like those people who let their fears of failure etc stop them from achieving anything, or taking risks. You will never have perfect information - sometimes you just have to take that risk. As I have gotten older I have found that some of the stuff I tied myself up in knots about actually weren't that important. I have been able to use my own life experience to build some precedents into my analysis and have found that sometimes you can analyse until the cows come home and still miss the one crucial ingredient. Or you never get that information anyway.

 

I think that it's worth addressing what exactly the problem is for you and making this more than just "I analyse too much". Changing from being an analyser into something else is pretty extreme, and I would guess close to impossible. However, you can change how you apply your thoughts. You can choose to identify your problem areas and develop a management plan. You can spend the time working on developing a process that works for you to manage risk and productively live your life rather than hours freaking out trying to define the 100% correct answer.