Sugar-Rush Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Hey Guys, Tonight is the first time in two years i've felt like ending it all....this is not a suicide threat, i have no intention of hurting myself but this is the first time in a long time the thought has even entered my mind. I'm so down tonight, the tears just keep coming and they won't stop, i tell myself its a good thing because i never cry and mayb crying will make it better. My life is so messed up, i know how immature and selfish i sound, i will get over it and i'm sorry in advance but i just need to vent! I'm still living in a house with my ex boyfriend, for the simple fact i can't afford to move out! he was one of my best friends for 10 years even though we were only dating for the past 3 (we broke up just before Christmas) right now we just can't say or do anything right around each other we are just both desperately seeking space and finalisation of the split. even though we are now very much not together we still have to share a room and a bed, some nights either one of us sleeps on the floor or the couch. My parents live 200 miles away and my daddy is very sick with terminal cancer, i wish i could go home but all my friends have mooved on, and my job which is the only thing i really enjoy and provides enough stability to keep me going is here....I so wish i could be 16 again and in high school, living at home with my family and believing the world was one perfect adventure. The new guy i've been seeing i really like ...its not love, not yet, i need to get away from my old realtionship and spend sometime alone before i can consider having anything serious with anyone else, i think he likes me too, he says he does and he's always nice to me but i can't tell him about all the things inside me that just make me want to stay in bed every minute of every day. My best friend who now live 400 miles away due to work commitments just got engaged and my other closest girl friend who lives by my parents has just become pregnant, i'm so happy for them and not at all resentful, i just no they have far more to think about than my stupid little problems Everyone i know here are friends of my ex and even though there still nice to my face, he tells me they constantly slag me off behind my back. I feel so alone i just need a hug!!! Sugar xxx Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Awh, I'm so sorry to hear all that! BIG HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG! Is there no way you can move back to the city your family lives in? No way your company could transfer you somewhere else? No way to find a room mate to live with in a decent sized apartment? Don't despair, God is watching and we're all rooting for you! Link to comment
Sugar-Rush Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 Thank you, you've made me cry even more with the hug but i appricate it. I have been looking into renting a flat/apartment but need to find a roomate first to cover costs. Link to comment
Ordinarygirl24 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 I know here there are a lot of places that have roomates needed posted up. If there is a local college or even a community college they are looking for roomates all the time. I would def check that out. It sounds like your situation is not going to get any better staying around that guy. You both need to move on with your lives, I have been there and I know where your coming from. I feel for you I really do and I hope your situation gets better. Remember what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger. Go stay with your boyfriend for a few days if you need to just get away. Maybe that will make you feel better, anything has to feel better than the way you are right now...So here is a big ol' hug ((((((((((HUUUUUG)))))))))))) and I hope your situation improves. (smile it is the 2nd best thing you can do with your mouth lol) Keep your head up girl, things have to get better Alicia (an ordinary girl in this ordinary world) Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. Buddha Link to comment
xblondyx Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Awww hun, that's awful! Sending u big hugs! Everything will be ok soon x Link to comment
DN Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Sounds like you really do need a hug!! Maybe we shoould develop a hug smiley!! Can you take some vacation and go see your Dad for a while? Link to comment
AzureSkyes69 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 That is horrible I truly hope things will get better for you. After the pain and the rain the sun will shine again. I have gone through so much myself and I can relate to almost all of what u are saying. I am sorry you dad is so sick. My mom was sick for along time with her illness. I know what you feel.If ya ever want to talk private msg me. Take care. Hugs: Link to comment
kellbell Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Hey there, Big Hugs to you! I am sorry about your dad. I can't imagine what that is like. I am sure things will look up very soon. Be strong and hang in there. Again... Big Hugs!!!!!! Link to comment
Sugar-Rush Posted March 30, 2006 Author Share Posted March 30, 2006 Thats the most hugs i've had in ages, thank you so so much! Link to comment
Doctor Smurf Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Have another one: HUGGGG! Link to comment
Beyondthesea Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Put out an ad somewhere (or respond to someone's ad) looking for a roommate, then go pick a place together that you would both agree on. That would be fun! More hugs yet darling, it will turn out alright Link to comment
ty1807 Posted March 30, 2006 Share Posted March 30, 2006 Here's another BIG HUG. I hope things get better for you Link to comment
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