Running Into One another: Very Long but need advice

[crvers]

No, 5 months doesn't seem like very long indeed. Unfortunately, I let this yearning get the better of me last night and I made a mistake.

 

First mistake in 2 months. Damn, I am angry with myself. I called her and talked to her for probably less than a minute. I asked her what she was doing, and she said she was cooking. So I asked if she was alone, and she replied she was at the new boyfriends place. So I told her I would call her another time. She asked if everything was alright and I said fine. She then asked if she could call me tomorrow which I answered no, that I would call her. I quickly got off the phone after that.

 

LOL. So foolish. I knew I wasn't ready to talk to her. I knew I wasn't ready! Yet I still went through with it. I don't know why I did that to myself. 2 steps forward, 3 steps back right?

[Momene]

Don't be too hard on yourself. It took me 2 whole YEARS to get over my ex-wife but I think getting over can be done in 6-12 months, depending on how you go about it. People who aren;t happy with other aspects of their lives take longer as it is often the relationship that keeps them going.

 

Good luck.

[crvers]

See, the weird part is I am happy with every other aspect of my life.

 

My work life is challenging and fast paced, and I work for a fantastic company.

 

I recently got into the property market by purchasing a new apartment.

 

I have a new car that I love, being my previous one was a giant piece of garbage.

 

My friends and family have been very supportive. I have never been closer to my best friends.

 

And becuase of everything I had been going through I started to hit the gym hard. I have never looked better. Plus with the trip and weather we've been having I am nicely tanned.

 

BUT, I can't share it with her.

 

Don't get me wrong, I have made giant leaps in the last couple months from where I was at the beginning of all this. 5 months ago I was a train wreck. Today, as much as the feelings of despair, hate and abondment still reside within myself, I am better able to manage them. But last night I just wanted to talk to her, thats all.

 

I am asking myself whether I am missing the relationship more or whether I miss the friendship. Am I willing to give up the emotional attachment to have her back in my life? Is it worth it? I just don't know....

[Momene]

I think if a suitable replacement came along, she'd be consigned to the history books where she belongs (along with my ex wife and ex-girlfriends). Actually mine are now in ancient history.

 

She has left a gap which won't fill up in 10 seconds. You're part-way there, I'm sorry that you just have to keep going.

 

Good luck.

[crvers]

Thanks Momene, I appreciate that. I think your right too. I am at the point where dating isn't a rebound, but more the next step. And I slowly letting that happen.