Nathalie1970 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Keep up the good work, Mark. Link to comment
markm Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 Well she just came over. She came to my house to pick up her mail. She started to cry a little and was hugging me. She asked if I wanted to say hello to her family and I said, "sure" So her 2 brothers, sister'in'law, nephew, and brothers girlfriend came up. We all chatted and I played with her nephew a bit. They stayed for about 10 minutes. She stayed behind for a few more minutes and asked for a hug and started to cry a bit. We then kissed lightly on the lips. I asked if she was OK, and she said, "It's just hard" I asked if things were good with the new guy and she said, "yes and no. I'm not jumping into anything." She asked me to say hello to my parents for her. She asked what I've been up to and if I've been going out. I just said I was doing my thing. Then she left. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Well she just came over. She came to my house to pick up her mail. I knew she would... The less you give the more she wants. How do you feel?? Link to comment
markm Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 I knew she would... The less you give the more she wants. How do you feel?? I feel a little worse. But not too bad. I feel like being with her though. The second she walked in she was emotional. I could tell she really missed me. I wonder how the visit made her feel about things. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I feel a little worse. But not too bad. I feel like being with her though. The second she walked in she was emotional. I could tell she really missed me. I wonder how the visit made her feel about things. I know you want to be with her, but you still need to hold back. The minute you let her know the extent of your feelings, she will back away again. She has proven it time and time again. I'm sure the visit made her feel confused. Don't call or txt msg her and she will contact you again. Have you made it clear that she should only be contacting you if she wants to work on your relationship?? Link to comment
markm Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 I know you want to be with her, but you still need to hold back. The minute you let her know the extent of your feelings, she will back away again. She has proven it time and time again. I'm sure the visit made her feel confused. Don't call or txt msg her and she will contact you again. Have you made it clear that she should only be contacting you if she wants to work on your relationship?? I'm gonna keep doing what I've been doing. I told her not to contact me 2 weeks ago. But she does anyway. And I replied a few times to text messages about her mail last week. But for a week I haven't contacted her at all. She has been doing all the texting/calling, I just never pick up the phone or return her messages. I had some flowers in the house, she saw them. I bet she assumed a girl bought them for me. She said something about me hanging out with my new girlfriend. I said "I don't have a girlfriend." Funny when I asked about the new guy she said things were "good and bad", and how she wasn't "jumping into anything." I'm sure he'll be hanging out with her and her family tonight. I just wonder how seeing her today affected our situation/her feelings/her actions. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 I don't believe it was a step backwards, she came to see you, not the other way around. Let her chase you, people always want what they can't have. I wouldn't bring up the current donkey that she is dating, let her deal with that on her own. You're doing great!!!!!!!! Link to comment
markm Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 I don't believe it was a step backwards, she came to see you, not the other way around. Let her chase you, people always want what they can't have. I wouldn't bring up the current donkey that she is dating, let her deal with that on her own. You're doing great!!!!!!!! Thanks Natalie. I'm always looking forward to your responses. You are a big help to me. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Thanks Natalie. I'm always looking forward to your responses. You are a big help to me. I'm glad I can be of help. I hope that everything works out for you. Keep us posted. Stay strong, I'm rooting for you Link to comment
Big Jim Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Hey man, ive been following your thread and just want to say best of luck. I see you really love her, and shes trying to figure things out for herself. But you are doing the right thing, you cant take her * * * * anymore, believe me ive been there. She is obviously having a hard time with things, keep doing what your doing, best of luck Link to comment
markm Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 Hey man, ive been following your thread and just want to say best of luck. I see you really love her, and shes trying to figure things out for herself. But you are doing the right thing, you cant take her * * * * anymore, believe me ive been there. She is obviously having a hard time with things, keep doing what your doing, best of luck Thanks Jim. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Mark, just remember that while it feels good when she's the one contacting you, the bitter disappointment when it stops because she's concentrating on the other guy feels terrible. My take is that this girl can't go any length of time without attention from a man. I guarantee things are on the rocks with the other guy at the moment, and so she's turning to good old trusty Mark. Link to comment
markm Posted March 12, 2006 Author Share Posted March 12, 2006 Mark, just remember that while it feels good when she's the one contacting you, the bitter disappointment when it stops because she's concentrating on the other guy feels terrible. My take is that this girl can't go any length of time without attention from a man. I guarantee things are on the rocks with the other guy at the moment, and so she's turning to good old trusty Mark. Yeah, you're right it does feel terrible right now. She hasn't contacted me today and I imagine the new guy is spending time with her and her family. That should have been me, not him. Yes, sounds like things are on the rocks with the other guy. Wonder what will be next. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 Wonder what will be next. She will txt msg you with some sorry excuse ie.mail, family...etc Pretend she is just another girl you just met and like, don't pressure her or talk relationship stuff. Don't call her, remember, people always want what they can't have (my new mantra) Link to comment
Scout Posted March 12, 2006 Share Posted March 12, 2006 You know what, though Nathalie? The best relationships are when both people want what they actually have. After years of unbalanced relationships, I finally found that with my current boyfriend. I sure had to pay my dues, and learn several of the lessons Mark is learning now. But I finally said, "Enough!" And I prayed with all my heart that God would send someone to me that loved me for who I am, yet brought out the best in me so that he had a lot to love! If it happened for me, it can happen for anyone. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 You know what, though Nathalie? The best relationships are when both people want what they actually have. I understand that scout, but what I am trying to tell mark is that the more he chases her, the less she wants him. And if you notice, the minute he doesn't pay attention to her and she is on the rocks with the current bf, she is all over him. Just stating the obvious. ps. Scout, glad you found someone that appreciates you.... Link to comment
Scout Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I understand. I'm just telling him if the only way to keep this girl is to never let her catch him, then ultimately that's going to be a tiring, unfulfilling charade for him to keep up. Imagine never being able to let your guard down with someone because if you do show you love them, they lose interest... Link to comment
markm Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 I won't be calling her, or texting her. It feels so good not to contact her and know that it bothers her. Link to comment
markm Posted March 13, 2006 Author Share Posted March 13, 2006 Well, it's 10:45 Sunday night, and she texts me again. The text reads: "It was very nice to see you yesterday. Kevin (her brother) thought so too. And I think Mitchell (her 16month old nephew) liked you too!" Her family flies home tomorrow. I'm still not responding. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 Please don't. And make a point to get out and about next week - while leaving your phone AT HOME. Whatever it takes to break this obsessive habit of thinking about her. Seriously, this girl is starting to really get on my nerves, lol. She has a lot of nerve to string you along while the other guy is blowing her off - and trust me, this is what's happening. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 13, 2006 Share Posted March 13, 2006 I agree with scout, you are her fall back guy. She knows that you will always be there for her, no matter what she does to you. Link to comment
markm Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 Well, her family flew back home today, not sure what time. No text message today. Guess the new guy is OK again. I am NOT going to be contacting her, but I find myself waiting for her to contact me. Just something I'm gonna have to work through. *update* yup.....i'm feeling like crap right now. Thoughts of what she is doing with this guy is basically torturing me at this very moment. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Link to comment
jl301 Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Hey Mark, I been following your thread. Just in hang in there and be strong for yourself. I'm kind in the similar situation like you and I know it's really hard. Like you said; "But I find myself waiting for her to contact me" I'm only one week of NC, but like you; I look at my cell phone time to time and hopefully seeing that I got miss call from her. It's all something that all of us need to work on. I miss her and her daughter dearly, but I like you I won't contact her. My situation is dealing with trying to date an single mother. Hang in there Mark, we're all rooting for you. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 14, 2006 Share Posted March 14, 2006 Mark, You know she will be contacting you, she has shown us that if she doesn't hear from you she txt msgs you just to get a response. Don't wait for her to though, go out with friends and live your life. A watched pot never boils (gotta love them cliches...) Link to comment
markm Posted March 14, 2006 Author Share Posted March 14, 2006 Mark, You know she will be contacting you, she has shown us that if she doesn't hear from you she txt msgs you just to get a response. Don't wait for her to though, go out with friends and live your life. A watched pot never boils (gotta love them cliches...) Thanks Natalie. I'm just all of a sudden obsessing over this now. Not sure why. I keep trying to bring myself to my senses. I just hate that she is with someone else. As far as her texting me, I don't know if she will anymore. She probably figures I'll never respond since I haven't responded to her last 6. Link to comment
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