How to attract "the look" from a guy or pick up on if a guy is giving them the look

[renaissancewoman101]

I decided to start up a thread on this instead of hijacking Miss M's thread. She brings up an interesting question about whether a guy is being aggressive when they give a woman "the look". She got me to thinking, how the hell can a woman pick up on whether the guy is giving them "the look" or something like that? I really want to know how. I tend to go through life being oblivious to stuff like that. That is what my best friend and his bf tell me. When I am out and about, I usually have a purpose, I have ten million things running through my head, and I am not usually aware if a guy is looking at me or trying to look me over, etc. How the hell do girls notice that. What the hell do girls do to attract that look? I know, I sound like I have no idea how to date or how to attract guys. I really dont. I've only had two serious relationships in my life. The first one (my best friend), my friends set me up with him. The second one, I noticed, liked, and I approached. So, I am not good with stuff like noticing if guys notice me. My friends do tell me that guys will notice me, but why am I so oblivious to that? I have never really noticed guys looking at me when I am out, except maybe for the rare occasion.

 

I am not a moron, just one inexperienced 32 year old when it comes to guys in general.

[TiredMan]

That question goes both ways. If a woman smiles at you, is she interested or does she just smile in general? It's one of those things that you can never know as it's individual to a person.

 

People look or stare for many reasons. I have been on trains where guys would be like "what are you staring at"? In fact, I was kinda daydreaming and didn't realize I was lol.

 

So again, there really is no way to know.

[renaissancewoman101]

What I really was asking is how do people pick up that someone is noticing them? I can sometimes be oblivious to that, and I have been told that I have a tendency to give off signals that I am not "looking". With some of my female friends from college, when I went out with them, some of them would give off the vibe that they were "looking" around, scoping for date, whatever. I dont know how to give off that kind of a vibe. From what my best friend tells me, I seem to not give off vibes that I am looking and/or I dont notice when guys look my way.

[TiredMan]

I personally think that sort of thing either comes naturally or it doesn't. But again, there really is no concrete way to KNOW if someone is looking because they are interested or not. I mean unless it's some obvious thing. Like if a girl walks by and a guy just looks her up and down with big eyes, then he is checking her out but who knows if it's more than that.

[valenski]

Renaissancewoman are you talking about sex appeal? I remember a girl staired at me once for about 40 or so mintues on a bus ride, when I asked her if she liked what she saw, she laughed and said its just that the jelly strain on my shirt resembles her birth mark.

 

Getting that "look" can be because you appeal to the person looking on or maybe they see something funny or they could just be reading whats on your t-shirt. Sometimes you even get that feeling someone is stairing at you but when you look around, no one is paying attention to you, its some chance, some appeal and sometimes embarrassing moments.

 

Hope this was a little help if any at all.

[renaissancewoman101]

Yes, I think I really was referring to sex appeal. I see how some women, because of the way they dress or the way they present themselves, how they can attract looks their way. I cant seem to be able to do that and sometimes I wish I could. Else, I wish I could notice when guys DO take notice of me.

[ginger25]

In general, I think if someone gives u eye contact for a bit longer than a glance, and then scans the rest of you, they're probably interested. Mind u, I agree that it's very personal. In my case If I'm interested in someone I avoid all eye contact and completely ignore them for fear that they might realise, crazy - they probably think I hate them! And if anyone looks at me I get so embarrassed I tend not to look, how silly is that!

[Kevin T]

In my case If I'm interested in someone I avoid all eye contact and completely ignore them for fear that they might realise, crazy - they probably think I hate them! And if anyone looks at me I get so embarrassed I tend not to look, how silly is that!

 

That's exactly what I tend to do.

[ginger25]

The ironic thing is this tends to attract people to you who you aren't interested in, because you don't act all weird around them!

[Lily04]

I don't get it. What do you mean by "the look"???

[TiredMan]

I think it all comes down to confidence. A confident guy/girl won't look away but can stare because they feel confident. So again, if you see a stranger on the street doing this, you don't know if they are confident or not, or even daydreaming, or even looking at a stain on your shirt. There really is no way to truly know.

[valenski]

Tiredman made a good point, confidence can boost what how you appear to others. About wearing revealing clothes, be careful because you dont want to send the wrong message, that is, if its too revealing then people might look on and say she's a * * * *.

[KristyK]

Oh my gosh Ginger25, that is exactly what I do! I posted about a guy I am interested in at work, and I want to look at him and smile and such, but whenever I see him I think "oh my gosh, there he is, look away"...well I'm never going to attract him if he thinks I'm ignoring him....

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I have learned the lonely hard way that if you do like someone, no matter how shy you are, don't ignore them! Why? Because they may be interested in you too, but if they see that you are ignoring them, they'll think that you don't like them. Then they'll lose interest and move on to a less shy potential. Imagine, nothing becomes of a crush because of a little shy misinterpretation. You'll be kicking yourself until your feet fall off. Trust me, I walk on my hands now.

[renaissancewoman101]

With me, maybe I sometimes give off the vibe that I am not approachable. I dont know.

[prozzack]

for guys the look is from the top of your body to the bottom, side to side means nothing

 

its always like that, up down then around the room like they didnt do antyhing

[Lily04]

for guys the look is from the top of your body to the bottom, side to side means nothing

 

its always like that, up down then around the room like they didnt do antyhing

 

OH WAIT. So when you mean "the look" do you mean when someone "checks you out"?? Rennaissancegirl, is this what you mean? lol. I thought it was like an intense stare... or when you look into each other's eyes and there's this instant 'click' or connection between you two. I've had that before... it was nice.

[Lily04]

well regardless of which it is... I think it only matters when you like the guy back. I was at the coffee place yesterday and all these construction workers were checking me out there -- many of them old men in their 40s! Why would I care that they're checking me out anyway? It only matters if you're also attracted to the guy. So when you see a guy you like, then maybe look & smile at him and pay more attention to if he does the same... you probably don't notice when guys check you out because you're not attracted to 99% of them. For me it's just pretty obvious because when you scan a room and see guys checking you out... it's sorta hard to ignore?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

At risk of humiliating myself..

 

When I had/have my most manic phases in bipolar disorder and have the symptom of feeling I am fantastic and sexy to the point of invincible, I got a lot more Looks. Suddenly, I felt in tune to what everyone was up to mentally concerning if they were attracted to me.

I think, on reflection, that when I felt so madly desirable, it radiates (that manic glow..heh...) and its magnetic. When I was most frantic, most people hit on me. I can testify that this wasnt delusional, friends commented on it.

 

When Im down though, no attention at all. Its all about confidence, whether its real, faked or due to mental illness.

[TiredMan]

But Lily, men and women take that in different ways. If a woman likes a guy and he is NOT into her, she'll get defensive about it and then think it's HIM and not her lol. Almost always. When a guy likes a girl and she isn't into him, most of the time he just rolls with it as he is more used to that.

 

Antilove makes a good point. For some people, on days you feel confident, everyone looking at you wants you or thinks you are attractive (in your mind). On days you feel unconfidant, you think everyone looking at you is looking at you for some other reason or that they think you are ugly.

[renaissancewoman101]

Antilove is right, confidence is the key. If people see that you are confident, you will get more people attracted to you that way.

[LEFEM24]

Know whats weird about me? When I DO like someone or am attracted to them...I tend to NOT pay attention to them because it makes me incredibly nervous. I feel like if I talk to much I'll say somethng stupid!! I am also a clutz, so I al extra careful to not knock things over and embarrass myself.....

. So guys if you see a girl tripping over herself...she very well COULD be attracted to you!!!

[renaissancewoman101]

LEFEM24, I know what you mean by being a clutz when you are around someone you like or are attracted to. When I was in college, I went on a date with this Asian guy that I really liked and was kinda hot looking. We went to a dance and I was wearing this really nice, long dress and heels and all that. I was so nervous around him that when we came into the dance hall and was going down the stairs, I tripped on my heels and fell down the stairs. Thank God the stairs were carpeted. I was so freaking embarrassed.

[sweetheart230]

Confidence is so important. When you THINK you look good, guys somehow think you do too.

 

How can you tell? I always know by their eyes. Its about the way they look at you. I don't know how to explain it, but when you make eye contact, you just know.

[sweetheart230]

Renaissancewoman, I think you need to just be more aware of your surroundings and the people around you. I used to be oblivious to that sort of thing, but when I started noticing people and looking outward instead of thinking of me and what I was doing all the time, I started noticing a lot of guys looking at me adn giving me that look.