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Back in the Game- a little rusty on the etiquette

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Hi guys and gals


When you have had a great time on a first date with a guy (albeit acted a little nervous, but generally ok), how long should you wait for him to call back for a 2nd date? is it a bad idea to call him later on? I already know that i want him to pursue me. He seems very interested but a little shy- and in the past i tend to freak men out because i tend to take a lot of initiative. So i'm confused. I like him, but i want to let him do the chasing- make sense?


It's been a while for me and he's a real gentleman, so i don't want to scare this one off!


Thanks in advance

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Did he ask you out on the first date, or did you ask him out? I think if you asked him out, you should let him call you for a second date.


If he asked you out, maybe he hasn't contacted you because he's not too interested Well, I don't know. I wouldn't ask him out on a second date, but you can call or e-mail with a quick question about something he has expertise on, and see if he suggests meeting again. For example, you can call and ask, "Say, what was the name of that sporting goods store you said had good used tennis rackets?" that sort of thing.


good luck

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I definitely suggest that you wait for him to contact you. Guys get scared away very fast if a woman shows too much interest. If you don't hear from him in a weeks time, then I would contact him just to say hello. There is always the possibility that the guy did not think you were into him.

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This sounds like good advice- my sit. is a bit of a twist. See what you think. He has come out to a few of my musical performances and had asked if i'd be interested in collaborating with him on one of his projects- so i called and he called me back but only because of the project. A couple weeks later, he came again to a show (his uncle is a good friend of mine who really empathizes with my last breakup- and this uncle - and friend of mine is very upset with my ex over it) So, it's obvious that his uncle was trying to hook us up.


I was hesitant to go on a date because i didn't want to ruin a potentially good time- if i wasn't ready.


Now i feel i am ready to date casually- i called him up a few days after the last gig. He seemed surprised but happy that i called. I asked him if he would like to go that following Saturday, hiking. He said yes and talked to me for a little while, i ended the call on an up note ( i hate chatting on the phone) Two days later he called back to confirm that we would be going out 2 days later- i said of course we chatted a bit more, then i ended the call on an up note again. One hour before the date, he calls again to see if we were still on, i said of course.


He picked me up at my place and we drove an hour away to the hike. was a lot of fun. We went over to a club where the musicians know me very well, so they got me up onstage- he was impressed. Basically we shared a lot of laughs, friendly sarcasm and conversation about musical inspiration (his projects- my projects)


As he was driving back, he asked if i would be interested in going back there with him- i said sure, but jumped the gun, of course and said- meet me for breakfast tomorrow!


I expected it would shock him but he said of course, what time should i meet you?


So he called me the next day to say he was running late, apologized profusely and said he didn't want me to think that he was being lazy. He showed up again, we went back and had a great time.


A few hours later, we drove back- when he dropped me off he said he would definitely be calling me about the project very soon. I think he likes me, is a little nervous- and i hope i did not come on too strong


Am i on the right track? It;s only been 2 days since he dropped me off.


I'm out of practice and don't want to scare off a potentially good friend or more...



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Well, he said he'd call, so I would wait for his call. "soon" can mean different things to different people. I personally think if he doesn't call you within a week, he's probably not interested in you on a romantic level. It could be he is interested in you in a professional/friend level. But, that's just my opinion.


If he hasn't called within a week, maybe you can call him with a question, but I wouldn't ask him out on a date.

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thanks, everyone


ocrob, yes he is a very considerate guy. This is the 1st time in 3 1/2 years a guy has picked me up at my house and delivered me right back to my door. 3 1/2 years because i wassted my time on a guy who never did anything as simple as that for me!!


I want to raise the bar!


Thank you all for helping me out

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i like what you guys are saying- if he doesn't call within a week, i'll just call him about my ideas for his songs and be very sweet but leave it at that


I'm sure he could pick up that i'm interested- even though i only gave him a hug and a "thanks for such a wonderful time"


i also don't know what he knows about my ex- who i still perform with. I don't want to hide anything but at the same time, i don't want to tell him too much so soon. The curse of "my ex" is that because i still play with him, it takes a big man to be able to handle that!!!



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