Jjasonn28 Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Hello again everyone. So its been a little over 3 weeks since the former girlfriend and I Began the process of 'letting go'. I wont deny that I miss her so very much. In the 3 1/2 years of our life together, this is the longest we've gone without seeing eachother. It's hard, it hurts and I still find myself confused, lost.... without purpose. She called me on Monday, and asked if we could get together, and take our dog for a walk in the park. Initially, I felt good. Excited, not only because I get to see her, but because I know how much she loves Parker (the dog of course) and how much he loves her. He has always had a profound effect on her, when it comes to cheering her up. And she spoils him rotten, so its a good thing when they are together. Anyhow, we made plans for me to meet her Wednesday night, after she was done school... I couldn't do it. When Wednesday came, I freaked out. I was overcome by such a sense of panick... like I was standing in the middle of a road, with a truck bearing down on me, and couldn't choose what side of the road to run to. I called her home, (knowing she was at school) and left a message that something had come up, and I couldn't make it. She called back when she got home, said she was disapointed she couldn't see us, but we could re schedule. So, now we have plans to meet for breakfast Saturday morning, and take Parker out for the day. My heart is screaming at me. I love her. I want to see her so much. But I am so nervous. Im not expecting anything other than a nice conversation, and some fetch. But my mind seems to be guarding my heart from any further hurt of hope. I am aware that hope is a bad thing, and I am trying to make a consious effort to accept this. So why am I so nervous? I can control my emotions. Ive always been pretty good at that. I just dont know. Even now, my hands are shaking thinking about it. Am I overreacting? The possibility of a reconciliation is not on my mind.. I sincerely miss her, and it would be nice to spend a little time with her again. Will seeing her smile make me happy like it always did? Or is it gonna break me. I apologize if this post is a little... well, unorganized. I tried my best to think before typing.. Im just infused with more emotions than I can handle I think.. But thanks for listening.. JP Link to comment
DN Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I have grave doubts that seeing her is a good idea if the mere prospect of it is upsetting you this much. Perhaps you should not do it, at least not for some time. The dog will be fine, you should be thinking of what is in your best interests. Link to comment
NJRon Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I'm kinda having the same situation, though not so much nervousness, but still enough. My ex and I were chatting on IM last night and, out of the blue, she asked when I was going to come down and visit her. She moved to Florida at the beginning of October and we have been broken up since the end of August. I just said that I was trying to fgure out a good time... I'm torn about it though. 3 weeks is not a lot of time. I know I would have been in no shape at all after just 3 weeks. Heck, almost 4 months and I still don't know. Link to comment
curlygirl47 Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 Skip breakfast and just meet at the park for the walk. Or just do breakfast this time, and leave the dog at home. Keep the time short, 30 minutes maybe? Let her know up front that you have only this amount of time. Link to comment
Ms Omaniac Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 ive read most of your posts about this girl. and i realllllllllly think this is too soon for you. i hope you reconsider. if you are shakey now...wait till you see her and multiply that. you need to watch out for you...she is watching out for herself. she wants to see the dog and you to make herself feel better. seeing her wont make you feel better because you'll see what youre missing out (you say a reconciliation is prob not a possiblity.) dont torture yourself. i did that. i talked to an ex that was my whole heart and id still see him. because i did that...it took a LONNNNG time to get over him. once we did NC...it went a LOT faster. but it was sheer torture to be near him and know he didnt want to be with me anymore. my self esteem was totally shot. i was suicidal all the time. i cried all the time. my work perfomance was getting awful. i stopped taking care of myself. i didnt start to get better till the NC. NOWW if i saw my ex...i prob could be friends with him. and it's taken me years to say that. but yeah...now...he has no effect on me. because your ex still has a lot of control over you and your emotions...i soooooooo wouldnt see her yet. Link to comment
jl301 Posted January 27, 2006 Share Posted January 27, 2006 I have to agree with eveyone and that I think is too soon for you meet her. You are just not ready at all. I know you really want to see her because you miss her so much. But I have feeling that you meeting up with her will do you more harm than good. I think you know that deep down and that is why you freak out canceled Wednesday plans. Hang in there and be strong for yourself. Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted January 28, 2006 Share Posted January 28, 2006 Hello JP, I am keeping my fingers crossed for you right now....I hope everything is going well for you; and I am continually thinking positive thoughts for it to work out between you and her.... hosswhispra Link to comment
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