CATLOVER Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 Hi Guys, For those of you who know my scenario - been about ten days of the renewed NC and I even sorta met a guy Ive been having coffee with which is nice for me.......and tonight I get the knock on the door and open it up to the crying EX....six foot six and 130kilos of him crying....I mean what are you supposed to do......thats a hard sight to see and I honestly even though I shoulda turned him right around and sent him off.....I just dont have the heart. So I took him outside gave him a drink and let him blabber on about how his life is all screwed up and blah blah blah, tried my best to offer some help....I sound a bit cold but for but those of you who dont know the story this is a man that given an inch will turn my life into painful mess and he is only comfort seeking....when its me that needs some kindness its another story....and he has put me through way more than should ever even taken place. But how do you turn any person away that needs an ear....I dont know. Ive sent him off home now - I am suspicious of his motives...and wary but with lack of knowing what to do I gave him a bit of friendship and sent him off. He said Ive treated you terribly and I said I know and your actulaly really lucky Im even talking to you. Now Im sitting here and thinking I hope Im not setting up another pattern for him.....running to me for comfort.....what do u do. Link to comment
PavPPZ1 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 just be nice and keep it friendship, no need for anything more or less. Turn it into a friendship if you can. Just keep your boundaries. GL Link to comment
kellbell Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 I agree, it's ok to be cordial and try to offer some words of wisdom but that's it. He's even lucky to be getting that from you. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 I think you handled the situation well. this is a man that given an inch will turn my life into painful mess and he is only comfort seeking....when its me that needs some kindness its another story....and he has put me through way more than should ever even taken place. But how do you turn any person away that needs an ear....I dont know. Ive sent him off home now - I am suspicious of his motives If you are done with relationship and he keeps coming to you with feelings of depression, just give him neutral advice which doesn't include any reference to your past relationship...nor any hints for a future. If he constantly needs an ear then make the suggestion, as a friend, that you think it would be in his best interest to see a counselor during this difficult time in his life. BellaDonna Link to comment
playnfoolagain Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 this is a man that given an inch will turn my life into painful mess and he is only comfort seeking....when its me that needs some kindness its another story....and he has put me through way more than should ever even taken place. But how do you turn any person away that needs an ear....I dont know. Ive sent him off home now - I am suspicious of his motives okay this is my first time to reply to anything. I completely understand your situation. believe me....go with your intuitions. i just broke up with an ex who got drunk at a party last sat night; a party i went as a guest! anyway...got drunk and begged someone else to take them home with that someone else. and trust me this is not the only thing that has happened in the past two years. i have been cheated on, lied to, broken up with a few times....and always end up getting back together within a few days because of above. i have strong feeling for this person and seeing them and hearing them say all the things i want to hear is difficult and i become powerless. GO WITH YOUR GUT...even if the pain is sincere and his motives are genuine...that doesn't mean it won't happen again! i have learned this the hard way... Link to comment
playnfoolagain Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 this is a man that given an inch will turn my life into painful mess and he is only comfort seeking....when its me that needs some kindness its another story....and he has put me through way more than should ever even taken place. But how do you turn any person away that needs an ear....I dont know. Ive sent him off home now - I am suspicious of his motives okay this is my first time to reply to anything. I completely understand your situation. believe me....go with your intuitions. i just broke up with an ex who got drunk at a party last sat night; a party i went as a guest! anyway...got drunk and begged someone else to take them home with that someone else. and trust me this is not the only thing that has happened in the past two years. i have been cheated on, lied to, broken up with a few times....and always end up getting back together within a few days because of above. i have strong feeling for this person and seeing them and hearing them say all the things i want to hear is difficult and i become powerless. GO WITH YOUR GUT...even if the pain is sincere and his motives are genuine...that doesn't mean it won't happen again! i have learned this the hard way... Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 What are User ranks such as Expert, Junior Member, Senior Member... User ranks are based on number of posts a user has: Novice 0-9 posts Junior Member 10 - 99 posts Member 100 - 299 posts Senior Member 300 - 499 posts Expert 500 - 999 posts Veteran 1000+ posts Link to comment
sibling295 Posted November 3, 2005 Share Posted November 3, 2005 hey catlover - funny same thing happened to me last night!!! READ of course , he's back" in DATING forum what are you gonna do? Link to comment
flightymighty Posted November 4, 2005 Share Posted November 4, 2005 Time for revenge I say. Why should you comfort him when he did nothing but hurt you. Tell him to take his tears to the well and go to hell! You will feel good! Link to comment
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