Is this what women, really want??

[FCTex]

Someone tell me what I'm doing here, and explain why this is working so well.. I think I have an idea, but I wanted some other opinions on this.

 

 

Ever since my break up, I've forced myself to be social, and with some time, it naturally came back to me. Infact, I've broken my shy streaks.. I've become the life of the party, I'm open, I smile, I'm loud and funny.. I talk to everyone, anyone, anywhere. I have no regards to holding much back in my life. I'm very liberated as of late. I've really have some self realization in my life, and I put my foot to it, and I've been working on myself frantically, and coming to great lengths with it.

 

However, I did not want a "rebound".. Ironically, I've found you can't find that. You can't not have a rebound.. Or rebounds in my case.

 

I'll find women, or women will rather find me.. I throw out some interest, I meet them once, twice, maybe three times. I talk to them on the phone, e-mail, AIM. I keep it really short usually, and I don't really make plans at all..

 

I don't know why I'm like this, perhaps because I know I dont want a relationship again, yet, unless something really just strikes me.. Right now I want to just have my fun, and do my "man thing". Sow my seeds so to speak, while I'm still in my youth, and not just work away my young years.. I still feel hurt a little too, I will admit.

 

However, at one point I had 4 women, PLUS my ex, entertaining my time. My ex was a null point, but these other women. I'd see maybe 2-3 in a week, sometimes in the same evening.. No sex with any of them, some I went father than others however. I would make plans, and I would break them. I'd break them for no apparent reasons. I'd lie even.. I'd go with another women that evening.

 

Ironically, these women STILL call me. Even after I break several dates, stand them up(but I call), or don't act as normal as I do around them before, they still come full force at me.. I don't understand it? I'm very distant from these women. I don't have anything invested in them. I don't have really any feelings for them, I don't think yet. I'm mysterious, I'm aloof to my doings.. I'm almost feeling like I"m being a jerk, since I've usually gone the route of being the really nice guy in the past.

 

 

What gets me is this.. This younger girl.. I met her.. once, or twice for dinner. We talk on the phone and online a good bit. I've broken.. 10 dates with her atleast.. I havent seen her since our initial meeting.. She came on really strong and really pushed me away, and she knows this I think. We talked about it. I have no intrest in her as a girlfriend, but I do have a litlte physical interest in her(the shallow guy kicking in)..

 

Tonight she asked if I would fool around with her outside of anything. As in, no relationship needed. That she found me so attractive that she would really like to push something forward between us, and that she understand I dont want a girlfriend now because of my hectic lifestyle..

 

What is going on?? I even have one girl with a boyfriend, who still comes to see me, wants to make plans with me for dinner.. I stood her up, without a call and she still comes at me!!!!!!

 

Crazy ladies out there. What is the deal? I love the attention, I'm eating it up. It's a huge ego boost after a break up, to know that after 2 years I still can go out and date and that I'm attractive and project my happiness and succcess. But the way I'm acting is so crazy. It's not really me, it's just me not caring, I'm not trying anything. I'm nice, and a gentlemen, but I'm not giving in to anything, and I'm not up in their business. They keep coming after me, and I'm doing nothing..

 

Do I just have a crazy set right now?

[Serendipity1607307077]

Sounds like you are doing well on the female front!

 

I think they are attracting to your outgoing and confident personality.

But it does seem like they are being a bit clingy.... just make sure that if you do go all the way, that they don't try to force you into a relationship. Make it clear you are not willing to commit to anything...

[melrich]

Well sounds like some good stuff is happening. Just my opinion but I think the teenagers and 20 somethings today have a far more pragmatic attitude toward sex than say my generation did 10 -15 years ago.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Yes and no - I'm 19, and I have only ever been with one partner! I am still with this person.

 

I think I must be a bit old fashioned!

[capgurl21]

Well, you are obviously still hurt about your last relationship and you feel rejected by that girl even today. That is why all of this is giving you such an ego boost. The reason none of these girls interest you past a minor flirtation is b/c none of them are HER. You have got to open yourself up to meeting someone really worth your time and allow yourself to trust women. There is a girl out there for you that won't hurt you or chase you down and monopolize your time. You in the meantime, need to be fair to these girls. DON"T string them along if you find out you are not interested. Just say something like, I just got out of something serious and I thought I was ready and I am not. I need some time by myself. Its just not right to be that way with these girls when you know it isn't going anywhere. The world needs more honest guys in it. Be that guy, better yet be a man, be honest with them, open yourself up to finding a real relationship again cause you never know and remember that its hurts to go through a breakup but when you meet the right woman one day, It will all seem worthwhile. Take care!

[PavPPZ1]

Man, that brings a tear to my eye, someone is actually doing this and has figured it out and all at the age of 20.

 

I have to say this is exactly how 90% of women spend their entire lives, in control of the show. I will be honest with you, there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, and there is nothing wrong with women who do the same thing. Its all about control, who ever has it will dominate the game. You have put yourself in a position of power, I do not know how because I suck at the whole dating thing and I am probably missing some key pieces of the puzzle. I have to say, I am very interested to know more about what exactly it is you are doing except for the fact that you are showing just enough interest to make the women go crazy, but not enough to come of as being attached or clingy at all.

 

The second question I have, is are you a super good looking guy perhaps to go along with this? this I hear makes a big difference...

 

All of this probably has to do with the fact that you have a really good mom, who has instilled the right qualities in you for you to be desired by all women. I have to say I am happy to see this actually does happen, and I know it does, just not to myself. I contrarilly to you tend to lose my confidence at the dumbest things; I was at the grocery store, and I was buying healthy food, as I went to check out there was a beautiful girl working as a chashier. I got terrified because I began to think she might think of me as a panzy if she thought I was trying to eat healthy, instead of eating like a guy. I really tried to overcome it, but I could not, and it was so freeking obvious, that kind of stuff just kills me. But its my reality and I have to deal with it.

 

Regardless, Please take the time and describe exactly what it is you are doing, because you are doing something right, take the next few weeks and analize yourself and your actions, perhaps you have something unique about what you have done, and can share it with the rest of us guys.

 

Well, good luck

Let us know how it goes..

[RandomAdvisor]

Yes and no - I'm 19, and I have only ever been with one partner! I am still with this person.

 

I think I must be a bit old fashioned!

 

Same here. And I'm four years older than you.

[DN]

It's good that you seem to be having a good time. But I am concerned about the date-breaking thing. Have a good time - but avoid hurting people. You can still do your thing but do it so nobody gets hurt.

[Miss M]

Do I just have a crazy set right now?

Sounds like you don't want a meaningful relationship right now, and you're finding all the women who also don't want a meaningful relationship. So it's a "match," right?

 

If I didn't want a meaningful relationship I know I could have all the guys that I could want. There's plenty of that kind around in both genders, and it seems it's a lot easier to find lots of companionship when you don't want anything deep and meaningful.

[Dating Coach]

PavPPZ has it right, it's a control thing. Since you have all of the control, you are the challenge. You are showing that you have your own life, and you are going to live your own life under your own rules. That kind of confidence and self respect is what I have been saying attracts women all along in my Guide. Even if you don't actually have those things, it's like Poker. It doesn't matter if you don't have those cards as long as your bluff is strong. If you give off the appearances of Self Confidence and Self Respect, they will still come.

 

Then look at 90% of other men. What do they do? They do what these women are doing, They throw themselves at the mercy of the women and beg for their attention. They will buy them gifts, they will call and chat on the phone for hours, etc, but all of those actions reek of desperation and clinginess. Guys who do that don't have the Self Respect to know that they shouldn't throw themselves at people.

 

That aside, I do not agree with how you are treating these girls. You should not string girls along if you have no interest in them at all. If you are honest with them and say, "Hey, I do not want a relationship, I just want to be free to date whomever, but I still want to have fun with you" and they still are down with that, then that's cool. It sounds to me like some of these girls think that you might actually hook up with them, and that's not cool. Plus, liars suck. Don't lie. You will find that if you are a Self Confident and Self Respecting person, these girls will probably still be around even if you are 100% honest with them. You could probably even tell some of them, "I broke our date because I had another date to go on" and that person would likely still give you another chance. If they do, it's on them though. It's not like you made empty promises because you are 100% truthful about your intentions and they made the choice.

 

Still, I believe in respecting other people as well as yourself, and I couldn't do what you are doing. I'd feel too guilty.

[PavPPZ1]

Again, Diggity is on the money; honor, courgae and respect would be everything portrayed if you dont lie and keep it real with the girls. This will make them desire you even more. The strong girls will create some space, but keep you in mind. While the others will stick around no matter what. I do not think you are doing anythign wrong, but truth, honor and courage are always the best route.

 

Good luck

[Miss M]

Do I just have a crazy set right now?

Another possibility is that this is a "set" of women with low self-esteem. Maybe they have such low regard for themselves that they think it's perfectly acceptable to be neglected, lied to, and stood up? In that case you ego boost is really coming from women who don't like themselves very much.

 

And you said you were flattered?... are you also flattered by the woman who is willing to cheat on her boyfriend? I'm not understanding how that could be flattering because I've always felt insulted when I've been propositioned by someone who is already in a relationship.

[PavPPZ1]

I'm not understanding how that could be flattering because I've always felt insulted when I've been propositioned by someone who is already in a relationship.

 

This has something to do with a male Ego, you sound like a girl and you wouldnt understand. This goes beyond social and moral reprehension, how its bad to do this or that. Its about taking a lioness from one den and bringing her over to your den. I understand, not saying its good orbad, but it is flattering. Hope that makes sense. Secondly these women dont have low self respect, it just seems like, they like you to the point that they will put up with things. That is sometehing to be proud of... not that you should hurt people, but it is a sign of doing something right.

[Miss M]

So here's another question... to all...

If a woman had started a thread where she generalized about guys (the gender) in the same way, called them crazy, described how she lied to them, stood them up, and was boosting her ego with all their attention, would she have gotten congrats in the same way?

 

It just may be that my imagination is very limited, but I can't imagine the same thread written by a woman would have resulted in so many patting her on the back, and telling her that she had found the magic formula, and that she should continue to enjoy herself.

 

Hope this doesn't sound hostile, cause I'm trying to understand something here.

[DN]

So here's another question... to all...

If a woman had started a thread where she generalized about guys (the gender) in the same way, called them crazy, described how she lied to them, stood them up, and was boosting her ego with all their attention, would she have gotten congrats in the same way?

 

It just may be that my imagination is very limited, but I can't imagine the same thread written by a woman would have resulted in so many patting her on the back, and telling her that she had found the magic formula, and that she should continue to enjoy herself.

 

Hope this doesn't sound hostile, cause I'm trying to understand something here.

 

I have to agree. I think there are plenty of occasions when unfair and stereotypical generalisations are made about men. But I can't see any justification for using people, men or women, and it seems that women being treated in this way could be easily misled and hurt.

 

Kindness and respect should be a watchword for how we treat each other and I am afraid I don't see much of that for women in this thread.

[PavPPZ1]

So here's another question... to all...

If a woman had started a thread where she generalized about guys (the gender) in the same way, called them crazy, described how she lied to them, stood them up, and was boosting her ego with all their attention, would she have gotten congrats in the same way?

 

It just may be that my imagination is very limited, but I can't imagine the same thread written by a woman would have resulted in so many patting her on the back, and telling her that she had found the magic formula, and that she should continue to enjoy herself.

 

Hope this doesn't sound hostile, cause I'm trying to understand something here.

 

I can see where the confusion in what I said may come, But when I said congratulations, I mearly am speaking upon the success of being able to interest so many women and keep their interest. I do not say its in any way good to hurt and mistreat anyone, weather its women or men. Congratulations are very specific in this, not in a general way of saying congrats on being a prick, that is not where I was going with that. Either way, when someone is being confident and successful on what they are doing they deserve a congrats.

[RandomAdvisor]

So here's another question... to all...

If a woman had started a thread where she generalized about guys (the gender) in the same way, called them crazy, described how she lied to them, stood them up, and was boosting her ego with all their attention, would she have gotten congrats in the same way?

 

It just may be that my imagination is very limited, but I can't imagine the same thread written by a woman would have resulted in so many patting her on the back, and telling her that she had found the magic formula, and that she should continue to enjoy herself.

 

Hope this doesn't sound hostile, cause I'm trying to understand something here.

 

I also agree. And I think you made an excellent point earlier about these girls having low self esteem...

[FCTex]

Wow. This thread totally blew up..

 

I've only been out of my relationship for 3 months in a few weeks. 2 months of real break up. I took it rough, see my old threads if you care too. I'm over her, or in the middle of doing so. I do not have any contact with her.

 

 

I didn't really describe much of what was going on, but here's a few kickers.

 

The girl who has a boyfriend, got him, while her and I were dating. She was my first rebound off my 1.5 year relationship. I liked her, genuinely, but was too hung up on my ex, to figure it out. She got a boyfriend, I pushed her away like a sickness. I didn't respond to her calls, etc. I didnt talk to her for weeks. She tried and tried and tried to reach me , only to get very little back from me. She and her boyfriend, who was a past ex, are having trouble, and I knew this because of her insistant contact and attitude. She still had intrest in me and expressed that openly. We met a few times, but I also told her she had a boyfriend and I wouldnt like it it my girlfriend was with her ex intrests, or even ex boyfriends. We stopped talking for a while.. She's single now, as of this week she told me, and has asked me twice this week for coffee and dinner dates. Both of which I left open ended, because I do not know if I have something better planned yet.

 

The girl that comes after me like an ant to candy. She's young. She's 18/19. She's a very well read girl. From a very affulent background, and just moved to town a few months ago for college. She's fun, she's got self esteem through the roof. I told her I didnt like how she came on to me so strong. I told her I just broke up with my ex. I was vague about it, because who wants to talk about their ex's to someone of intrest right? Well, she keeps coming at me, and I keep pulling away. I show her intrest, just enough to keep her around, but not enough to give her the wrong idea.

 

I break the dates with her, because she plans them on a whim. She'll call, say she has movie tickets, and wants me to go. Or ask me for dinner for the night. Ask me to come over, etc. Ask me to go ride around town with her, or go to the park. Or go shopping. I'll leave them open ended, and then I'll eitheir go, or call her and tell her something came up, etc. sick. Most of my excuses were not lies. Some were. I had plans with someone else, but I wanted to keep her intrested as well. Some I was sick, and did not go out. Or some, I worked late and wasn't in the mood to go into the city.

 

She still comes after me, so I must not be treating her like crap.

 

I'm not stringing these women along, so to speak.. Sure, sometimes I feel I am, and after being hurt, I dont want to hurt anyone else. I'm not doing anything at this point, and they still come after me. Not even those mentioned, I have 1-2 other women that are trying to pick up interest. I go out, show some interest, but not enough to act like I need them. I'm having fun, doing my own thing, and they just seem to come around to it. Please don't attack me for being a male, or the way things like this happen. I'm not hurting these women, and I've made almost every intention of telling them I dont want a girlfriend, and just got out of a relationship, but alas, I dont bring it up very much. Thats just bad to talk about with dates.

 

I'm acting like I dont care, and I'm showing it. I don't care if anything comes of these women. I'm open to things happening, and I"m looking forward to spending time with these women, WHEN I WANT TO. I'm not going to have someone make plans, attach me to them, and expect me to preform. I'm done with that sing and dance. Did it too long. I'm a nice guy. I'm an extreme southern gentlemen. I open doors, I have the best dinner manners you've seen this side of the south. I'm polite, well mannered, and very well read and educated. I'm a great guy, and I dont feel the need to explain myself because of it. I show that to women, without telling them. I don't need to tell these women what my bank account reads every month. I dont need to flaunt.

 

For the guy who asked what I'm doing. I'm simply showing intrest, enough to get them looking, and then I'm letting them do the work. I back off. People want, what they can't have. And right now, they can't have me. They are trying everything in their right mind, to get to me.. They obviously see something in me, I'm not a bad guy like these women are trying to point out. I did break dates, I did lie a little. It happens, I felt bad, but I moved on. I don't owe these women anything but the respect they deserve, and while I fell short a few times, I do my best to have my heart in line when I do make a decision. I don't feel bad for breaking the dates. I don't feel bad for making them wait weeks on end to see me again. I don't have them put more into whats going on than I. When they do show intrest in making it more, I pull away. I get distant, I don't call much, I don't reply much. I dont make plans with them much. They figure it out, they are smart girls, and they realize what they did. They apologize for it, and they try again, understanding what I told them from square one. I pay for all the dates, I don't allow them to lose anything from this. I even tell them to not plan around me, which they still end up doing. I told them my work schedule is hectic and I can not have a concrete schedule for anything somedays.

 

I wont feel bad for sleeping with them, or doing anything date wise with them and telling them later on, that I dont want a relationship. I'm not going to settle for anything. I've got my heart and my eyes open for the one that knocks me down again. I need my challenge. These women are just there. Having their fun, like I am mine. They aren't cheaters, or easy women. They have morals, come from affluent families. They are in extremely nice colleges/universities.. They understand my situation, and what they do after that, is the roll of the dice. I still respect them however, don't get me wrong. I might have come off wrong in my first post.

 

 

Also PavPPz1. There isn't much to learn. Learn to love yourself for who you are. Learn to love what you have to offer and learn to project what you are, and your goals, and it's easy.. I'm a confident guy. I'm very goal orientated, I have an extremely good job for my age, and I'm mature. Far more mature than most my age, mainly because of my childhood, and how I was brought up and forced to overcome. As far as being good looking? I think I'm very good looking.. Not overly attractive perhaps, I've been asked to model once, a few years ago, and I used to work at Abercrombie and Fitch, and they have the worse practice of hiring by looks, not by what you have to offer.

[FCTex]

One thing I cared to bring up, is this..

 

I'm very well read. I have a gift I'd like to assume, that I have a way with words. I can say what I want, and have them say what I expect them to say..

 

For instance. Tonight. The girl who just broke up with her boyfriend, the one I dated for a few weeks. She invited me for coffee tonight. I told her no, since she had a boyfriend. She responded back, I'm single now.. So, how about that coffee?

 

I told her I'd be up to it, and I'd let her know what time I got home. I had a friend who's flying out of state tomorrow, and he wanted to meet up for dinner and to chat. I'm going to go see him, instead of her. I told her this and she was understanding of it. I offered to see her this weekend, or set aside Tuesday if possible for a coffee date. She said that sounds fine, she'd love to, and that she was sorry it was last minute of her to ask, and that she understands I couldnt go. Now, I can't reply every word, but sure it sucks for me to get newer plans than her requests, and then to drop her offer. But she's apologizing and understanding that I dont want too, tonight.

 

What I'm wondering is. Maybe I'm manipulative with my words. Maybe I have a way to word, the timing, the tone, that smooths things over, and makes it okay most of the time? Perhaps, I'm good at smooth talking, and this has more than gotten me to where I am today with these several women?

 

Just wondering. Women, do you like a smooth talking man? I'm not smooth as in suave, but I do think I have an honest, which I am, way to getting accross what I want to convey, but I say it in a way that they can't help but reply in the way that I anticipated I guess is what I'm saying.

[teacup]

ugh. u dont sound attractive to me at all. u sound like u play games and make a bunch of crappy excuses. if the message u gave these women was so clear, i dont think they would still call you and respond to you. women dont hate themselves that much. u must be giving them false hope in some way and making up a bunch of excuses about it.

 

gross.

[Miss M]

Wow. This thread totally blew up..

Yeah, it kinda did, didn't it? It actually wasn't anything personal against you, but your thread gave me an opportunity to make a point about an obvious double standard in this e-community that seems lost to some.

 

Otherwise, even with your further explanations, I still don't agree with what you're doing.

 

I'm not a bad guy like these women are trying to point out.

Just so you know, painting you as a bad guy wasn't my primary goal. My real goal was to point out that a thread like this, written by a woman, would have gotten challenged and derailed. I've seen guys on this board censure women for generalizing about guys, and hijack the thread, even when the women said at the onset that they were just trying to sort out their confusion, that they weren't trying to describe ALL guys. When I complained about it, the response I got was that they would do the same if a guy started a thread like that. But here we are with evidence to suggest there really is a double standard. Hopefully this will help make us all more sensitive to it.

 

And I was also trying to point out the other inherent double standard that still exists, (i.e. congrats to men, admonishment to women for the same behavior) even though we all think we've evolved beyond that. It's clear to me that we haven't.

 

And as to painting you as a bad guy... well, I could make some comments about that as well.

 

She still comes after me, so I must not be treating her like crap.

I wouldn't consider any woman's persistence as proof that you're treating her well. Battered women often go back to their abusers too. They go back because they are confused in a very perplexing way, and they feel that being abused is acceptable. Other kinds of abused persons also feel inexplicably pulled back towards their abusers. It doesn't mean they aren't being treated like crap.

 

Now, I can't reply every word, but sure it sucks for me to get newer plans than her requests, and then to drop her offer. But she's apologizing and understanding that I dont want too, tonight.

Here you admit that you know it's wrong to change plans, (i.e. "sure it sucks"), but then you justify because she apologized to you. So it seems that you KNOW you're mistreating her, but she, on the other hand, clearly hasn't realized it. I think a woman who apologizes to a man when he mistreats her is very confused. She might not know she's being mistreated, but you admit that you DO know it. That means she's confused and you're knowingly exploiting her confusion.

 

What I'm wondering is. Maybe I'm manipulative with my words. Maybe I have a way to word, the timing, the tone, that smooths things over, and makes it okay most of the time? Perhaps, I'm good at smooth talking, and this has more than gotten me to where I am today with these several women?

 

Just wondering. Women, do you like a smooth talking man? I'm not smooth as in suave, but I do think I have an honest, which I am, way to getting accross what I want to convey, but I say it in a way that they can't help but reply in the way that I anticipated I guess is what I'm saying.

When you say you're manipulative with your words, yes, I would agree with that. You "say it in a way that they can't help but reply in the way that I anticipated" and that's called being manipulative. There are some women who are vulnerable to that and you seem to have found them.

 

Someone tell me what I'm doing here, and explain why this is working so well.. I think I have an idea, but I wanted some other opinions on this.

I'd say it's working because you're involved with some confused and vulnerable women who have low self-esteem... and it's also working because (by your own admission) you're a smooth-talking liar.

 

Is this what women, really want?

In case it's not obvious yet, I would say, no, we don't really want that. And even if we say or act like we do, should you really do it?

[HappyGoAway]

Sounds like you're able to bag the losers and share your bruised heart with someone you care for. Anything else fuels an empty bitter path.

[FCTex]

teacup,

 

Thanks for your grown up comments. I'm totally here to find women by the way. Your snide remarks really dont hold any water.

 

Miss M,

 

Thanks for your replies. Your right in majority of what your saying, and again, like you said, it's the point of view that it's taken. I think you have a feminist view on things, which I don't hold against you..

 

Sure, you could assume that I'm playing on these women once I've figured them out.. But want to know something else? I don't have any feelings for any of them really. I'm too distant to allow myself back into a relationship. I'm even this manipulative with my ex, who screwed me over and is trying to make contact with me now... Women are just the same way.. You simply don't see it explained this way, nor do they get repremanded or called out for acting like I am. Women who do what I'm doing get away with it. When a man does it, it's simply called being a bastard. I'm a womanzier... Yeah right..

 

I've simply realized that the women I've come to work things up with, act like this. Not all do, some follow, some leave.. Some beg, and some just shake their head. I act accordingly to the situations. The way I'm acting is not me, but I will not lie. I enjoy the way things are playing out. I enjoy the way these women dance around all of this, and how I'm able to direct what I want to happen.

 

As far as saying these women have low self esteem, I think thats a far cry, especially since none of you know these women. I don't even really know these women enough. I havent allowed them enough time to really get themselves out there. I'm having my fun, and I make it known to them. If they choose to follow in the fun, then in my right mind, I believe it's warranted.

 

 

Am I going to get repremanded by women for this? Sure. It's obvious.. Will I learn something about women? Most definitely.. Will I find another girlfriend? Certainly not looking good. Why? Because the way I'm acting now, doesn't bring in the quality women you want to keep for company. I don't want these women long term. I don't even want them short term most of the time. I've told them, and given them signals that I'm not intrested, but yet still come to me..

 

Eitheir way. I appreciate the comments. I just find it odd that all the years, and still now, how I've been the nice guy, but still kept myself and my bounds, I've never been able to run up on so many women all at once.. My dating life is through the roof it seems, and while I'm being who I am, I've realize that when I find a weakness in women, I exploit it at the moment, and I'm wondering if that leads them to chase.. I can finally understand why the girls I used to always want, were with the *beep* guys who treated them like crap.

[Miss M]

I think you have a feminist view on things,

Um, do you say that because I don't like double standards?

which I don't hold against you..

erm... thanks... I guess

 

Am I going to get repremanded by women for this? Sure. It's obvious..

Just so you know, I'm not actually interested in reprimanding you. Like I already stated, I was commenting more on the responses you got, and the overall atmosphere of this community. And then, I just decided to answer your question "is this what women, really want?" As a woman, I sure wouldn't want what you've described. And also none of the women I know want that. In fact, those of us (those I know) who've been treated that way feel hurt by it, scarred by it, and grieve over it. But so many here spoke up to congratulate and encourage you that I felt a need to give another perspective on it. And you had asked for more opinions about what you were doing, (if it seemed manipulative, whether we women like a smooth-talking man), so I gave my opinions about that as well.

 

Will I find another girlfriend? Certainly not looking good. Why? Because the way I'm acting now, doesn't bring in the quality women you want to keep for company. I don't want these women long term. I don't even want them short term most of the time. I've told them, and given them signals that I'm not intrested, but yet still come to me..

This was sorta what I was pointing to in my first post when I said...

Sounds like you don't want a meaningful relationship right now, and you're finding all the women who also don't want a meaningful relationship. So it's a "match," right?

But then your later comments made it clear that these women might be vulnerable to the "manipulation."

 

And also, your statement "doesn't bring in the quality women" shows again that you're getting your ego boost from women who you don't respect. So how is that really an ego boost?

 

I just find it odd that all the years, and still now, how I've been the nice guy, but still kept myself and my bounds, I've never been able to run up on so many women all at once..

And that's also why I wrote this earlier...

If I didn't want a meaningful relationship I know I could have all the guys that I could want. There's plenty of that kind around in both genders, and it seems it's a lot easier to find lots of companionship when you don't want anything deep and meaningful.

 

Again, I don't agree with what you're doing, but I do feel somewhat appreciative that you've at least been honest here about your behavior, because I've learned a lot too. It's not usual that I've been able to converse with a man who will speak as openly about his (mis)treatment of women, so I've found this valuable in my own way.

 

Also, not sure if this would be of interest to you, (or anybody else), but in another thread titled [link removed games someone offered this link that also seems somewhat relevant here.

link removed

[PavPPZ1]

Fctex keep doing what you are doing, just dont hurt the girls. Obviously if they continue to come back to you they are happy around you. As simple as that, you are a ladies magnet.

 

Miss M is just mad that you are the kind of guy she will never have control over. She is used to manipulating guys and doing what she wants with them. Well getting a possible taste of her own medicine has already made her naucious* regardless. There is no wrong or right, consider the fact that you are doing what guys around teh world are dreaming of doing. Being in control of your dating life, its a great thing keep doing what you are doing, and expand on it. When you know what you have done add more info we are very curious to read more.

 

Good luck