I don't want to hurt him but...

[sarbet2]

I have been dating my bf for 4 months. We spend all our time together and he basically lives at my appt. In the beginning we were getting to know eachother and in that happy hazy period. Well, for me the haze has lifted and I'm beginning to see our incompatibility. This is where i'm feeling awful because he has never been in love before and I know he loves me. he is not very independent, he has a very low self-esteem, and generally doesn't like himself very much. I don't know how to break up with him where I don't further decimate his sense of self worth. I care about him so much. I do love him but unfortunately it's not the right kind of love. He is a very sweet person and he has never done made me feel bad about myself. It would almost be easier is he were a jacka$$ but he's not and i care how this will affect him. i don't want to hurt him but it will. i guess what i'm needing is a little advice on how to do this as kindly as possible.

[DN]

Just tell him the truth. That although you are very fond of him you don't feel the right sort of love for a strong and lasting relationship.

 

Don't let him think there is a chance of getting you back if there is not. It is important to let him know that the relationship is over. So don't say "let's take a break" if you mean 'break-up', and don't say "We can still be friends' because that will also give him false hope.

 

Be as kind as you can, but clear and firm about what you mean.

[djedix]

and please, do it face to face...

 

no emails, no texts.

[TiredMan]

Did you know him before you started dating?

[sarbet2]

we were casual acquaintances when we started dating and thereforeeee didn't know each other well.

[TiredMan]

we were casual acquaintances when we started dating and thereforeeee didn't know each other well.

 

I asked becuase I'm wondering if you had noticed how he was BEFORE dating him.