sarbet2

My bf lives in California and i live in Toronto. We met playing an online video game. We have been "together" for over 4 years. i'll be moving next year to be with him finally. Ain't love grand!

Thanks so much for the replies J And thank you Tigris for all your suggestions. It never occurred to me to get an open ended ticket. I will try visiting him for an extended period of time to see if my feelings for him are true and not built on distance and who I perceive he is. To answer your question Monkey1, I broke up with him because I was going through a lot emotionally and the distance really became the straw that broke the camels back. I suffered from sever depression; I had to be medicated for it. I also was fighting anorexia. At the time of the break up I didn’t know these thing were wrong with me I just thought I was loosing my mind. I lost a lot of weight, had no appetite, and I was crying and depressed all the time. I figured it was because he was so far away and I just wasn’t a strong enough person to deal with it. Turns out it was other underlying issues I had never dealt with. He now knows everything I was thinking at the time and what I was dealing with. Of course he was hurt I didn’t let him help me through it but honestly I thought I was going crazy at the time and didn’t want him to have to saddle that burden. He really is the most perfect person for me and I love him beyond measure J

My bf and I have been LDR the entirety of our relationship. We originally met playing a video game (lol how silly is that? ) and have seen each other many times over the years. We talk everyday, at least 2 times a day on the phone. We email daily and txt message all the time. We had a rocky period about a year and a half ago wherein I broke up with him. Not nicely either and by doing so we did not speak at all for about a year. I thought about him from time to time (constantly at the beginning of the break-up) over that year of no contact and missed him but I didn't think I was cut out for an LDR. Anyways, about 8 months ago we reconnected and the relationship has never been better. I guess because we both had a chance to date other people and grow–up. If anything the time to evaluate how important we are to each other has been a blessing. Here is where I need advice...I love him with all my heart. We have talked about marriage and me moving to the US to be with him. I want to marry him. There is no question I want to be with him BUT, my mother always said, "Never marry someone you haven't lived with". There really isn't the possibility of "living" with him for any extended period of time. I would only be able to get a tourist visa for 6 months, I could not work during that time and if I wished to stay after that time I would have to be married by the end of that 6 month visa (even then I don't think it's a sure thing). Can a marriage work if we have not lived together? I know ultimately this is a question only I really know the answer to but I need reassurance that I am making the right decision. Or, alternatively, if this may be too big of a risk to leave my country, family and job for love. I just want to know if my fears are normal

we were casual acquaintances when we started dating and thereforeeee didn't know each other well.

I have been dating my bf for 4 months. We spend all our time together and he basically lives at my appt. In the beginning we were getting to know eachother and in that happy hazy period. Well, for me the haze has lifted and I'm beginning to see our incompatibility. This is where i'm feeling awful because he has never been in love before and I know he loves me. he is not very independent, he has a very low self-esteem, and generally doesn't like himself very much. I don't know how to break up with him where I don't further decimate his sense of self worth. I care about him so much. I do love him but unfortunately it's not the right kind of love. He is a very sweet person and he has never done made me feel bad about myself. It would almost be easier is he were a jacka$$ but he's not and i care how this will affect him. i don't want to hurt him but it will. i guess what i'm needing is a little advice on how to do this as kindly as possible.