EXTREMELY HAPPY!!!!

[sara-pezzini]

for those of you who have read my posts Never been kissed,and Not sure,just need advice...about how I thought that my boyfriend used to have been sexually abused,a little update...

He was really scared of what was happening between us,felt the same way about me but still kept me at a distance,and it was very confusing for me...

 

one time when I came too close to him he pushed me away and didn't want anything anymore...very painful!!but I thought that something was not right and decided to give him space,be friendly but not come too close and let him initiate contact..

 

Well that was a very good decision because slowly he opened up to me,trusted me again and appologized for what he had said,now he always initiates contact and he finally told me what has happened to him in his youth,which was very painful to hear because it really was what I already feared.

 

This has always caused him to push people away and keep everyone at a distance,because he feared that when people got to know him and his secret,they would leave him...No one has ever been there for him,and no one has ever loved him and he didn't know how to react to that.

 

We really became very close now and he thanked me for my beautiful presense in his live,it meant a lot to him *sigh*

 

And finally yesterday,all of a sudden he stood behind me,and when I turned around he put his hands on my arms and kissed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!it was just perfect and very sweet and meant a lot to me,that he finally had the courage to do that,after I have waited patiently for sooooo long!!!

 

So now I am extremely happy and can think of nothing else all day!!!!!!

[arwen]

 

 

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

 

Now that things are more relaxed, I am sure you will have more of this happening in the future!

 

lekker!

 

Ilse.

[Shinobie]

That is great news sara!And im glad it meant so much to you and made u so happy.I wish only bigger and greater things too come into your life that make you happy.good luck.

[sara-pezzini]

thanks!!!!!

 

and ilse...mmm lekker!!

 

still can't think of anything else \ didn't know I could be this happy and am very glad that I didn't react to the pain that he caused me then,but really thought about why he did that,not many people would have done that and it made him see how I really am...GO ME!!!

[ShySoul]

First ones the hardest, then it becomes addictive and you can't think of anything else. Congratulations and have fun.

[sara-pezzini]

things happen very quickly now!!!I had an amazing week,still can't believe that this happened...

after a year of conversations only at work or on the phone,while I had asked him out many times,but he was always afraid to actually go through with it,always afraid that I would come to close or want something that he wasn't ready for..

then came last thursday....we were at work and he asked me if I wanted to get a drink after work,well of course!!!

we went and had a great time,we talked very much,and pretty soon it was to late for him to catch the last train home,so I offered that he could sleep in my guestroom,thinking he would be scared off again,but he gladly accepted and we went to my house,and we spent half the night talking,until he fell asleep on my couch,and I was afraid to move or turn off the lights,because that would wake him.

so I spent an hour just watching him sleep,and it was the happiest hour of my life,and to me it was very moving that after all he has been through,he felt comfortable enough around me,to just fall asleep and not be scared of what I might do(because I already told him once what I wanted and that caused him to panic,didn't know then what I know now..)

after an hour he woke up again and I suggested that we go upstairs,because a bed is more comfortable than a couch...

and in the morning when I had to wake him,he told me he had slept very well,which is unique because he has many troubles sleeping!!

and he wants to do this again real soon!!

so I already was extremely happy,but now even more so!!!!!!!

was the best night of my life,so far....