is SEX really that good?

[goddess23]

hey all. okay...guys and girls...is sex relaly what its all cracked up to be? i mean what does it feel like relaly?! lol...i mean me and my bf have done everything except sex basically and im just wondering i mean for guys is sex similar to getting head? any comments appreciated. o and btw does it realllly hurt the first time?

[sidehop]

For most girls yes it does hurt for the first time.

 

Sex is not something you can describe in words...it's a great feeling although it will wear you out!

[easyguy]

I've never done it, but I think it's one of those things that you really can't describe. You just have to do it yourself (no pun intended) to find out. I'm sure it feels good... really good, otherwise why would we do it out of pleasure?

[amanda22]

does it hurt? everyone is different.

 

it didnt hurt me, it just felt weird

 

what does it feel like? it can be amazing. it can be overwhelming. it can be thrilling. it can be alot of things.

 

personally i love sex but i can go without it for a long time and it doesnt bother me.

 

i think its amzing when you are ready and you are in love. otherwise i would say it isnt worth it.

[ejacobson]

but does it feel like getting head?

[sidehop]

but does it feel like getting head?

 

LOL! It varies...

[in_doubt]

I've been told that it realeses some kind of chemical in the females body which makes her more clingy to the guy she's slept with.

 

I wouldn't know how it feels, cause i've never tried it...but i hear its good

[Gilgamesh]

Well if there is love between you two it could strengthen the bond.

 

I assume you want to know how it makes you feel emotionally.

 

When you make love, your taking an action of trusting someone, opening up to him fully, so this can re-inforce your loving feelings for him.

 

For some men its also the same, but not all guys are the same, one thing for sure, sex will NOT make a guy fall in love with you if he doesnt already love you, more likely it will impede him ever taking you serious as a potential love mate if you sleep with him without love first.

 

But like I mentioned before, if you truly love each other, and you both feel comfortable with the idea, then go ahead.

 

If a man is constantly pressuring you to have sex, that is not a good sign.

 

As first times go, it varies with women, and generally its not that physically pleasurable the first times around, but you are intimate and it is something special, its a time you will never forget as there is only 1 first time.

[BillyJean714]

TBH, the first time I lost my V- it ddin't feel great. I was young and naiive, and pressured into doing it. My only advice is to save it for someone who TRULY loves you. Save it until you are atleast at the age where you think that you want to settle down. I'm serious! This is no laughing matter.

 

Save yourself the heartache and keep your virginity until you know that the person that you're with is truly 'the one.' Only reason I say this is because when there is sex involved, you become very emotional. My guy friend told me this: often times, women tend to associate sex with love, and often times, for guys, this is not true. It has a lot to do with our hormones, in which, every time a woman orgasms, she releases oxytocin- a love hormone. That's why, when a girl gets in too deep with a guy and they're having sex, it's harder for her to cope with break-ups and letting go, because the releasing hormone complex had been established. I took a class on physiology so this is what I learned.

 

The point is, life is so much easier when you're a virgin. When you're not, things get so complicated. You HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE READY. Most girls around 15, 16, and 17 are not ready, in my opinion based on what I've been through and what my friends have been through. One of my friends ended up getting pregnant at 15, got dumped by the father, and is now going through a divorce with another guy, who she just had his kid! She is only 22! Another one of my friends just had her baby- single mom- age 24.

 

So, you see what sex does to you? It can make a woman really irrational and drive her nuts. At your age, you're going to pursue your career goals, college, etc. you don't need all of the complications that come along with sex. I didn't mean to preach to you, but just want to let you know the reprocussions that go along with it. It is no joke. Learn from other people's experiences.

[kellbell]

Yes, sex feels good, especially when you with a very special person who repsects you and loves you inside and out. I tend to refer that as making love rather than sex. I will be honest with, the first time does hurt, hurts alot actually. Sex can hurt anytime though. I cried. Not balling, but tears trickled down my face. Plus I was nervous, so I am sure that did not help. But the guy I was with was sweet, gentle, and kind and we were in love so it was very special.

 

I know it sounds cliche, but I would strongly advise you to wait until you are ready. It changes the relationship completely, believe me. There can be all kinds of feelings and consequences that can happen that you may not be ready or prepared to deal with. But if you are going to do it, plase be safe. Use protection or go on birth control or do both. Think things through carefully and be safe.

[DropToZero]

Sex feels great yeah...but take it from a guy who just recently lost his virginity, it's better if it's with a person you truly like a lot, and have waited longer than a month or so with in order to have sex. Sex used to be something that was on my mind in a priority type way. It's hard to explain, but I used to think that if I died being a virgin that it would be something horrible...I didnt think it was going to happen, but that's the type of idea I used to have at some point. Now, after having sex...It doesn't really seem like it was that big of a deal...it wasn't like a life or death type of importance thing in my life any longer.

[gstylez07]

I have only had sex with one girl, and it was great......we had alot of sex.

 

But the whole thing about sex making a girl more attached.....not true.....

i was her first......she dumped me cold a month ago and now wont even speak to me.....if anything it made me more attached, not her.

[Minty80]

It has a lot to do with our hormones, in which, every time a woman orgasms, she releases oxytocin- a love hormone. That's why, when a girl gets in too deep with a guy and they're having sex, it's harder for her to cope with break-ups and letting go, because the releasing hormone complex had been established. I took a class on physiology so this is what I learned.

 

Guys release the same hormone when they have an orgasm. It plays a larger role in women, but not in orgasm. Oxytocin is what causes a mother to produce milk after her baby is born (in all mammals) and causes those feelings of maternal warmth each time the baby nurses, because nursing causes more oxytocin to be released.

 

When just talking about orgasm it's about equal how it works in males and females. You know the stereotype about guys rolling over and falling asleep after sex? Oxytocin is a relaxing hormone and can make you very sleepy. Ask any woman who has nursed a child, it can totally knock you out at times, especially with a newborn when you are already a bit tired.

 

Most of my guy friends at one time or another have slept with a girl thinking it meant more and then finding out they were basically used. It can happen to anyone.

 

To the OP: Personally? I think sex can be absolutely amazing, but in my experience it is only that way with someone you truly care for and when you are absolutely sure of yourself and comfortable in your decision. The times I wasn't sure or not totally comfortable felt more like it was just something to do and I could never figure out what the big deal over sex was. It's worth waiting to be absolutely sure.

 

Oh, and my first time it did hurt, but had I been more relaxed and sure of my choices I think it would have gone a lot better.

[Day_Walker]

sex is an experience, people will have different perspectives. Personally I think people tend to over exaggerate when it comes to sex. Now I will agree that sex does feel great and it is an enjoyable experience but its not the end all. It seems to me that when people talk about sex they confuse the topic with orgasms which can be apart of sex but dont have to be.

[BillyJean714]

Minty, yes, it is a relaxing hormone that releases when vaginal contractions arise- even during orgasm. That is what I learned from my physio professor. Women release large amounts of oxytocin compared to men. And, it is released during cuttling and physical contact as well. So that attachment that we feel for our sexual partner is the same bond that's felt between a mother and child during breast feeding.

 

My point is, when we have sex with the wrong person, and that person ends up breaking our heart, our hormones do really make it harder for us to let go. It causes unecessary complications in our lives. Even the thought of that person can trigger a cascade of emotions, due to the release of oxytocin and other interchangeable hormones that interact with one another. I just like incoprorating scientific explainations to things that we go through. Although science is always changing, especially in the field of biology, it does not hurt to try to rationalize why we go through the certain emotions that we go through, right? After all, we can't deny that our physiology does not effect our psychological state. They both go hand in hand.

 

Here's a link just in case if you're interested: link removed Didn't mean to get sidetracked there! Please continue on with the original disucssion.

[goddess23]

hmm...thanx for all the repsonses. its interesting some of the information. honestly im an EXTREMELY mature 17 year old but i would not have sex with anyone right now because i know there isnt anyone as mature as me. imean my bf and i have been togther for a year and a half now, liked eachohter for like 3 years. so honestly it is a very trusting and very intimate relationsihp and i think about sex a lot. i mean i can see myself having sex with him in the near future as in another year or so. i think by the time i turn 18 i might be ready if im still with my current partner and things are going well. but there is curiosity in me and i was just wondering about it. because at times i feel like why not just do it, and other itmes its like omgg this is such a big deal. but it is interesting and sex is something very intimate. but do you all think that i would be having sex too early if i did around 18? considering my situation? and again anymore replies about it are welcomeee.

[goddess23]

hey all you guys that posted any comments on my last post?? i would really appreciate the opinions.

[scaryperson]

As long as you're comfortable with it, and you are sure of the relationship you're in, then i dont see any reason why having sex at 18 would be wrong.

 

You wont need to ask questions then, if you're sure it's right to have sex, just make sure it's for all the right reasons

[Gilgamesh]

I agree with Scaryperson, your the only one that will know when your ready.

 

When the time is right, let your mind go and your body will follow.

[elveden]

My point is, when we have sex with the wrong person, and that person ends up breaking our heart, our hormones do really make it harder for us to let go.

 

I must say I completely disagree. In my opinion, your physio professor is wrong.

[DropToZero]

My point is, when we have sex with the wrong person, and that person ends up breaking our heart, our hormones do really make it harder for us to let go.

 

I must say I completely disagree. In my opinion, your physio professor is wrong.

 

I dont really know about hormones...but I wouldn't completely disagree. I don't know your story, but in mine....the above 'point' happened to me, and I think I felt the worst pain I have ever felt in my life one nite when I awoke about 4 am and couldn't get it out of my head for the rest of the nite. And by pain...I mean, I felt like I had a fever, felt like vomiting, and was shaking, and thoughts were racing quickly thru my mind of her....I've never felt that way. I was better in the morning...just a little sleepless...but I never want to go thru that again.

 

I can let go tho....but I'm still trying to make amends, b/c she seems to want to also...I just doubt things will go back to the way they were before. Anyways...back to the point of the post.

[BillyJean714]

My point is, when we have sex with the wrong person, and that person ends up breaking our heart, our hormones do really make it harder for us to let go.

 

I must say I completely disagree. In my opinion, your physio professor is wrong.

Elveden, that quote was my opinion, not my physio prophessor's. You can have your own opinion, and if that's what you believe, then that's what you believe. But, as a person who's been through enough dating experiences, and having had my own friends personally complain to me about this subject matter, this is what I know to be true. Of course there are other ways to cope with breakups, such as trying to control our emotions. Sometimes our hormones make it difficult. Ever had of a woman's tendency to get emotional before or during her period? It's unexplainable, but some women do burst out crying out of nowhere. It's a surge of release of hormones interacting with each other that cause us to feel certain way. Until you are in our shoes, you will know. As stated in the link that I provided, in my opinion, hormones also correllate with deep emotional attachments to a relationship that involves sex. Since we don't want to get sidetracked, lets that discussion for another time!

 

Back to Goddess23, there isn't a exact right time to do it, but I will say, do it when you know that you are truly ready. Sounds like the relationship you guys share is healthy enough. This is all a learning experience. Make sure that you are prepared to handle whatever consequences may occur. If you do end up having sex, remember to wear protection! I have two friends who ended up getting pregnant- one who didn't finish high school yet, and has 2 kids, pregnant at age 15, currently a single mom at 22. The other is in college, and it looks like the father won't be around any longer. Life is already tough enoogh, and I know that they're struggling. So please, remember to use protection. It really hurts me to see where these children's lives will end up to be. I know you're smart and you use good judgement. So whatever decision you make will be the right decision. Best of luck to you! -Billy

[Eric f]

to me head is not the same as sex, i actully enjoy sex then a blow job but i have my moments where i want head.

[hunnybee]

hey... the first time i had sex it didnt hurt me at all but the second time it did a lil and i bled a bit too as the guy was considerably larger

 

And yes, sex really is that great if you are doing it with someone u care about. As for the similarity to receiving head for a guy, it prob does feel similar but its not as intimate and romantic. maybe ask a guy! im sure he'll tell u!

 

Have fun!

[Amannamederic]

since nobody seemed to answer this straight forward i will

 

sex and head can be two completely different things, or they can be the same.

 

no joke the most amazing sexual experience i've ever had wasn't sex, it was head, the girl who performed it on me was like 17 and i was 15 and she REALLY wanted me to like her...wasn't so much the head itself as all of the touching, kissing, whispering, rubbing, blah blah blah, she seemed so into me, so i was already feeling sensitive when she started to go down (you know, like when someone brushes your arm and you sit and shiver for a second or two...that kind of sensitive.) Also, she tried so hard, i know that sounds dirty but the girl was sweating profusely.

 

As for sex, the first time sucked for me, my girlfriend mis-judged how much of me she could take and after the initial thrust i had to be careful only to put in 1/4 to 1/2 in, when you have to think about it, not too much fun. Add to that the fact that she freaked out about a week or two later and cut off sexual contact completely...and you have a pretty nasty situation. Other times having sex though were fantastic, as long as you like the person your with sex is the best...but head can be just as good.

 

Oh, and for the 15 y.o who re-iterated the question, the vagina has grooves and makes more liquid than a girl's mouth. It's deeper and hugs you when your inside it, no ramming up against the back of her throat every time she tries to take it all in (OUCH trust me!) so physically speaking...sex blows head out of the water.

 

-Eric