boyfriend thinks bro's girlfriend is hot

[rosechip]

I'm a little embarrassed to say that my boyfriend of seven months made me jealous last week. He told me he met his older brothers girlfriend for the first time and he said "she's hot, she's a big girl" he gestured height.

I have not had the chance to meet her. But now I would because, I'm curious as to what he thinks is hot. Is this normal for me to feel jeaulousy like I am?

My ex husband never told me he thought someone was hot. However when he likes the looks of someone he may say she's cute. My ex never wanted to make me uncomfortable or insecure around other women. So he was polite enough not to mention his attraction to other women and he always told me I was beautiful.

Was my boyfriend trying to get a response out of me or was he really turned on by her. The only thing I said was "good for you're brother". Then he proceeded to tell me she's cool and she likes to smoke up. Later that day I told him I should try smoking up and he said "no you don't want to do that". He know's I don't enjoy it. I'm thinking, well he thought his bro's girlfriend was pretty cool. I wouldn't have smoked up. anyhow, I think I was just testing him. It's been weird that I'm feeling so insecure about our relationship. He does say he loves me!

[DN]

Don't overeact. It was a comment - probably in support of his brother, in effect wishing him well. Like he would if he got a good job, or a new car or house.

 

And although your ex-husband never did that - he is still your ex, so his sesnsitivity wasn't enough to keep you two together. But your boyfriend, who does make unthinking comments, is with you - and says he loves you.

[loveydovey]

Well, you know your boyfriend. Is he the type to say or do something just to get a rise or reaction out of you. If not, then I doubt he would say it. And honestly, to me, if a man was really lusting after some woman, I don't think he would DARE be bold enough to say it to his lady. In other words, he wouldn't go there for REAL with his brother's gf, so he probably didn't think anything was wrong with saying "She's hot" HTH!

[chai714]

If he says someone is hot and you feel insecure, work on raising your own self-esteem. It's normal for anyone (married, single, or in a relationship) to find others attractive. While he shouldn't flat out say "she's hot" to you, it still should not make you jealous. He's with you because he thought you were hot too, otherwise he probably wouldn't have bothered talking to you. Likewise, I'm sure you've seen other guys and found them attractive too. It's part of being human and should not make you feel insecure.

[rosechip]

Your right I shouldn't feel jealous. over a simple comment. I'm a confident women at work and home. I have good friends and family who love me, and I'v been told a number of times I'm very pretty. This guy however makes me feel insecure somehow, not about my looks. Just insecure about who I am. I'm a Christian, He's not, He does drugs, I don't. He knows music, the name of so many bands and their songs. I listen to radio and don't pay any attention to the artist or the name of the band playing. He watches TV, I'm so busy, I don't have the time to sit and veg in front of the TV. I couldn't tell you the lasted or hottest shows. Because of this sometimes I feel stupid. But I know I'm not.

[DN]

I read your previous post about the fight you had because of his twin brother. It seems you have a very different outlook on life and it is causing you some tension in the relationship.

 

Have you though about what you want from him in the long-term? And why you are with someone who is apparently somewhat incompatible.

 

I'm not trying to get you to break up with him - but it does seem that you may have some analysis to do - both of yourself and the relationship. If you want to stay with him, then you need to work out the problems. And the most important, it seems to me, would be any conflict between your religious beliefs and standards and his lifestyle.

[darkblue]

You plainly have a lot of problems worse than the original post.

 

I do believe you should assess your relationship and if you decide to stay; work out your problems.

[oceania]

My boyfriend said that his brothers girlfriend was hot.

I got extremely jealous, because i'm like that. I've met her though, and he said I looked like her? so i kind of got over it..

i dont think your over reacting, your allowed to get jealous over things.