am i in love, or in love with the thought of being in love?

[theflipsideoflife21]

as in previous posts, ive been seeing this guy for about 9 months and because of longing events that have been happening i have been in this whirl-wind of emotions.

 

RECAP: boyfriend doesnt like me being around my guyfriends, says he will break up with me if i do go hang out with them cuz he doesnt trust them and thinks they will "make a move on me". we have been in conflict over this for quite a long time now

 

the reason im writing this is as followed:

there is a part of me that really thinks i shouldnt be with him because of this and that i should be able to do what i want w/o him telling me 2 do so. problem... i dont feel as if i want to or if i am ready to let him go because , in my head, im truley in love with him. even the thought of me not being with him drives me nuts, i honestly dont no what id do if we wernt going out. and yet again a VERY small part of me misses being single. soooo.....i guess my question is...do you think that i am truley in love and that this situation is something that really just needs some more talking through...or am i literally just in love with the thought of being in love?

 

Advice greatly appreciated

[HaloDestroyer]

I think you should stop thinking about it!!

 

Love is a feeling, not a mindset.

 

If you look into his face, and love him, then so be it. You're in love.

 

XxX-Ben-xXx

[theflipsideoflife21]

lol i cant help it i just, when i think about something, it doesnt go away until i have answers....idk thats just the way ive always been. altho i think ive figured some things about myself tho

[lady00]

 

RECAP: boyfriend doesnt like me being around my guyfriends, says he will break up with me if i do go hang out with them cuz he doesnt trust them and thinks they will "make a move on me". we have been in conflict over this for quite a long time now

 

 

You are letting him dictate to you who you can spend time with? I would not put up with that in a relationship.

[misery12]

As an answer to your question, I find that you're in love with the thought.

This guy seems to have some flaws that aren't present in other guys.

You may love him, but not in love with him. You're so used to your day to day life with him being involved, you don't know how you would react to the world without him.

 

I've been in your boat, but the truth is, you have to decide what you want as soon as possible. The longer you put these feelings off, the harder you fall, trust me.

 

If you want to be single, then break up with him. Nicely.

If you want to stay with him, TELL him that you will hang out with whoever you want, whenever you want, and if he doesn't like that, he CAN leave. Tell him that he has to understand you're with HIM.

 

It's not that he doesn't trust the guys you hang out with, it's that he doesn't trust you, plain and simple. If he trusted you, then he would know it doesn't matter if they made a move or not, because you'd shut them down. He's insecure, and jealous and you have to let him know you're not going to deal with it. If he doesn't trust you, he better start.. or you're walking.

 

That's the smart thing to do.

 

Good luck.

[Tigris]

If he's starting to tell you who you can and can't see now your life is going to be hell if you ever end up being married. He sounds like he's very insecure, jealous or a control freak!

[a fever dreamed]

RECAP: boyfriend doesnt like me being around my guyfriends, says he will break up with me if i do go hang out with them cuz he doesnt trust them and thinks they will "make a move on me". we have been in conflict over this for quite a long time now

uh, yeah. he sounds jealous and manipulative. whatever his problem is, it shouldn't be yours. i'd dump him and run!

[darkblue]

If he's starting to tell you who you can and can't see now your life is going to be hell if you ever end up being married. He sounds like he's very insecure, jealous or a control freak!

 

Or all three.