Where are the happy endings?

[Echo]

Hi everyone....

 

I have been diligently browsing this forum for 2 weeks, looking for guidance , advice..ANYTHING to help me get over my ex and move on. I have read SO much great advice, not only to me but to other people that might APPLY to my situation and I have come to this point where I feel kind of stuck. I KNOW what I'm going to do..I 'm going to take Dave's advice....and do NOTHING...and in the meantime better myself. I think this forum is awesome...however I am learning that it is addictive!!! lol So I am somewhat spinning my wheels in a sense. By reading about how to deal with my misery I stay stuck in it....has this happened to anyone else?

Who has a success story? what happened, and how did you resolve it?? How long did it take? I guess I need to hear some success stories. Maybe I am just a sucker for a happy ending...but I am really in the mood to read happy endings right now.....

I think I will post MY progress in increments rather than try to do it day to day. It's like dieting, you don't see any real results if you expect it everday..maybe once a week or so. However I will keep up with eveyone else and try to post advice to those in need.

Ok...I will be waiting to read those happy stories

[misery12]

Echo I know what you mean, I've joined in April, when I was still with my girlfriend, and have posted many many times through my relationship with this girl.

 

AT times I feel great, and feel im making progress, then this girl does something, and I have to ask another question.

[Mun]

My happy ending is I finally let him go, I met up with an old friend and started spending time with him... and now my ex bf ( another one) has found out where I live and is coming over for dinner-tonight . Oh boy, life gets interesting.

 

The good thing is that both of these guys treat me much better than he did...I realized this when I commented on how "nice" they were to me. It shouldn't be something you notice, know what I mean?

 

Anyhow, the happy ending is that when you let go of something that just isn't working out...other things always follow. And now because of what I went through with the last guy, I won't make those same mistakes again. I hope.

[saltwatergirl]

Hmmm interesting development you have there! keep us posted!

 

As far as happy endings, I just live vicariously through others.

 

Salt

[Tsunami]

I know exactly how you feel *relates* it happened to me actully. I'll give you a happy ending.. I met my "first love" and he broke my heart, it tore me apart for a few months, i didn't see him for ages. Then back into normal life after the holidays i met his friend at a music club, i was talking to my ex's friend because my best friend thought he was nice anyway, later on that night on the internet i was talking to my ex's friend and he told me that he liked me. I was so surprised! anyway, we decided to meet up, meanwhile i was still trying to get over my last relationship. And then i realised what was happening.. i fell in love, real love. Love like nothing ever before! You know, you think it's the end of the world when you break up with someone and JUST when you're not ready for it, another guy comes along and you have no clue until you are completely entwined!!! lol! Everyone gets a happy story

 

~LOVE ROCKS~

[RayKay]

muneca is right on the money...when you let things go, it opens up the door for the rest of your life!

 

You maybe don't see many "happy endings" because once people reach it, they no longer feel need to post about it..make sense?

 

Not sure you are looking for reuniting stories, or moving on stories. I don't know many SUCCESSFUL, long lasting reuniting stories of people from here, though Hope75 and her boyfriend are one that has a great chance that comes to mind.

 

As for moving on stories, I moved on...healed...and fell head over heels for a new guy, and even better, he fell the same for me! I am so grateful for my ex for dumping me honestly (him and I are still friends), as I would never have met my boyfriend otherwise, or known just what lay ahead for me. He is absolutely everything I deserved, wanted and needed...don't get me wrong we have our conflicts, but we are very committed to one another and the relationship....and each other's "one".

 

Until you move on though and heal....and accept....the universe will not send forth all that awesome stuff that lays ahead!

[suprema99]

Hey muneca, cool, but be careful. you mentioned 3 dudes here. I would suggest you avoid juggling if all possible.

[shes2smart]

June 2001...catch my then-bf of about 2 years cheating. Suspected him of it for quite sometime, but he always has plausible excuses. We had lived together for a little over a year. I uprooted my entire life (except my job) to be with this person, which meant I was doing a 50-mile-one-way commute every day for over a year. So, anyway, I catch him in a compromising situation he cannot talk his way out of or deny. We split. I was devastated.

 

I was 37 and very much ready to settle down, get married, and build a life with someone. I had never been married, and after this I figured I never would be. I looked at the wreckage of this and my other previous relationships and figured I would become one of those bitter, single women in their 60's who own 2 dozen cats and stand on their front porch yelling at the neighborhood kids to "get outta my yard."

 

I spend summer 2001 traveling, visiting girlfriends I haven't seen in years. It is very restorative. I start making plans to buy my own house in a year or two. Go to a lawyer, get a will drawn up, get the details my life in order like an adult who doesn't have a spouse and probably won't have one.

 

End of August 2001. I have just returned from a trip to Florida visiting a girl I have been friends with since we were both in 7th grade. I feel "full", I feel like my battery has been re-charged, I feel like my soul has been replenished and healed from the beginning of summer break-up by the various trips I've taken...both solo trips and trips to visit girlfriends.

 

At some point prior to this, I had put up a nearly empty profile on a BDSM-themed website. Just had my age, general geographic location, and my yahoo messenger ID. Shortly aftern I returned from Florida, some arrogant 26 year old punk started messaging me. I chatted with him a few times, he was quick witted and funny. He asked for my phone number. He asked me out.

 

We set up a meeting at a restaurant. I showed up. He didn't. I didn't have a cell phone, neither did he. He lived 2 hours from where I did and his car had broken down on the turnpike. Eventually, we set up another meeting at the end of September. I go, but expect nothing. Figure I'll hang out with him for about an hour, then "develop a headache" and get on with my life.

 

That meeting started at noon on a Sunday and ended at 10pm that night.

 

A week later, he proposed to me complete with a ring that he had shopped for, selected and purchased 3 days after that first date. We got married 8 months later.

 

We've been married for 3 years now. Still stupidly happy. Gone through a ton of crap that I've seen break up other couples (financial issues, ex-wife issues, family crap, a 150-mile relocation, employment issues, health issues, mental health issues....) and yet we always manage to get through things as a team, without fighting, and usually laughing together through the worst of it.

 

If I saw us in public when I was single, we'd make me want to puke.

 

True, it's not a "getting back together" story, however sometimes greater happiness comes from moving forward to something/someone new.

[suprema99]

She's to smart, you talk about your relationship like it's a bad thing. Are you really happy here? or do you find it, maybe you just settled? you got married to a guy who's way younger. You shouldn't have to say, the relationship, would make somebody puke. The only reason I would even ask there.

[RayKay]

She's to smart, you talk about your relationship like it's a bad thing. Are you really happy here? or do you find it, maybe you just settled? you got married to a guy who's way younger. You shouldn't have to say, the relationship, would make somebody puke. The only reason I would even ask there.

 

Um, I am going to think you are misinterpreting what S2S said...I think what she is saying that before this relationship, if she had seen people like them...being all crazy in love and sappy....she would thik "ewwww"...anything from what S2S has EVER said about her relationship has only been how wonderful it is. I think she is truly happy, and has said numerous times that she and her hubby were meant to be together.

 

I think she is FAR from settling, that is what she did BEFORE, and then finally met the one for her.

[suprema99]

Ray Kay, that's true, I don't read full history's that often obviously. She's to smart is cool, the puke thing though, made me want to post, lol - she's2smart -you can understand, no offense if taken.

[shes2smart]

No offense taken. RayKay got it right.

 

Every once in a while when I was single, I would see couples out in public who seemed sooooo happy and sooo into each other...just acting like every little thing was a private joke, and it was too cutesy, y'know? I'd be all cynical and think there was NO WAY 2 people could be THAT HAPPY together...they had to be on something.

 

So, yeah...if I saw me & my husband in public, we'd make me wanna puke.

 

In my previous relationships, I would describe to my partner-at-the-time the sort of relationship I'd ideally like to have. Without fail, each of them said it sounded nice but what I wanted just wasn't realistically possible. After hearing that from I don't remember how many bf's, I started thinking maybe they were right....maybe what I wanted *was* unrealistic and just not possible outside of my own imagination.

 

They were 100% wrong. What they should've said was what I wanted wasn't possible with them. The consciously created/creating relationship I was after has happened with my husband, because he has (and continues to) put forth the effort necessary to make it happen.

 

I read "The Unimaginable Life" by Kenny & Julia Loggins. In my head I argued with it as I read, thinking that just wasn't possible (much like my exes told me)...but in the end, I had to admit to myself the relationship described in the book was what I wanted...no more excuses, no more settling.

 

The clearer the picture we hold in our imagination of where we want to be, the more likely we are to get there. I had the picture of the type of relationship I wanted...the blank space was who would be co-creating it with me. Never in a million years would I have figured someone 11 years younger would've fit the bill perfectly, but that's what happened.

 

Life has many pleasant surprises, and many times things that initially seem like negative events will transform over time into positive events. Events just are...it is our interpretation of them that makes them "good" or "bad." When you're in the middle of some tough times, you need to remember that all things happen for a reason...that reason being your highest good. "Highest good" does not necessarily mean "immediate good," but if you want the roses you have to deal with the thorns, y'know?

[elveden]

~LOVE ROCKS~

 

I'll drink to that..

[RainaBabe]

You'll have to search for my story here, but my boyfriend broke up with me on September 6th of last year. The first day I begged and pleaded, but naturally that only made things worse. We didn't talk for a week, and I started just doing my own thing and focusing on myself. Eventually we started hanging out again. I got lots of good advice here.

 

We got back together on October 6th, and just celebrated 14 months together yesterday. He's starting to talk about marriage a lot (last night he said I'd make a lovely bride), so who knows?

[sexysadie]

That is very sweet and very inspirational for those of us walking in those footsteps right now. Thank you for posting this. Not all of us will have such a wonderful outcome but it does go to show that it can happen if it was meant to be!! Best wishes on a wonderful new life together.

[Mun]

Hey muneca, cool, but be careful. you mentioned 3 dudes here. I would suggest you avoid juggling if all possible.

 

Don't worry, I won't be juggling.

 

After a long talk we decided to date again. Something is wrong, I'm starting to repeat guys. --This is the (ex) first guy I dated after my divorce--there's no full story, but I have posted about him here and there .

 

I notice he keeps popping back into my life ever so often.. He never really went away...so maybe there is something to that...

 

Nice topic Echo.

[brando]

Echo

A happy ending doesnt necessary have to be one with geting involved in a new relationship, or regaining a lost one.

 

You are the author of your own life, you have the power to crate what you want your life to be.

 

When your ready to let go you will let go, you will have no other choice but to do so.

 

Take care of you, you are the most important person to you always. You dont need a relationship to feel good about yourself,, and if you do then you need to take a closer look at yourself.

 

Their is so much to learn about yourself and about life. Sometimes being alone is the greatest way to learn these lessons.

 

Love is great, but even greater when you love yourself first and always first. Dont forget that.

Write your own happy ending, or a happy beginning...

[Mun]

I think I better add that I had absolutely NC with this man for the last (almost) 2 years. So it's not like I did anything to bring him back.

 

I went on with my life and he went on with his.

 

Time

[HajiMaji]

how did he 'come back' muneca? You didnt speak withhim for almost 2 years? He decided to call you? Haha, you dont have to answer if ya dont like, ive just become interested in your story

[Mun]

He dropped by my parents house and asked for me. My younger brother told him where I lived. He says he asked " is she seeing anyone, has she got married yet?"

 

That's how it happened.

[HajiMaji]

man, thats pretty cool Good luck with everything on that!

[DN]

My then g/f broke up with me to return to her own country - returned after some months - got back together - got married - still married 30 years later.