Give this a read.

[SkyFire]

A friend of mine showed me this. Apparently it is a revised version of the original. I find it to be true.

 

The REAL ode to the nice guys

 

This is an ode to those who call themselves "nice guys". The guys that finish last, that are too wussy to become more than friends, that endure hours of whining about what a-holes guys are, because they think that somehow, being a good listener will get him what he wants out of the girl, which is obviously to be more than friends. This is for the guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on, when inside, he's thinking about getting with this same girl who is crying on his shoulder. This is for the guys who are too scared to go after what they want, so they resort to being manipulative by pretending to be her friend, hoping that she'll someday "see the light" and realize that he is what she wanted all along. This is to the jackasses who go on and on about how cute, beautiful, smart, funny, and sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, not because they actually BELIEVE what they are saying, but because they feel that it will someday get them laid or in a relationship with said female friends. This is in honor of the guys who pretend to respect a girl's every facet, from her choice of dress, to her privacy, to her theology, but then when said girl is not around, said guy immediately begins whining about how indecisive and immature and stupid girls are like the little misogynist he is.

 

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from the parties yet wake up the next day and still are in love with or even respect said female friends, for the guys who accompany girls to the bars as buffers against the rest of the "creepy male population"; meaning that said female friends get to enjoy the ego boost from being checked out by guys, without actually having to deal with being hit on. What an inconvenience, right? For the guys who play by the "rules" always in a game where the rules favor MEN WITH ACTUAL BALLS, and then go on about how all men who are percieved as having any confidence or self respect whatsoever are jerks. For the guy who will never stand up for himself to a female, and thus ends up becoming her whipped slave. For the guys who blindly give out compliments to girls who are fishing for them simply because they are girls, and because they think it will get them laid or in a relationship. For the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material by girls who don't want to hurt their feelings by saying what's REALLY on their minds, which are "boyfriend material for someone who can stand a boring unconfident guy". For all the "nice guys" who manipulate and mislead by pretending to be the friend of a girl so he can be more than friends with her, this is for you.

 

This is for the time she left three hundred messages on your cell phone fretting about two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner, and you wasted your precious time helping her to dissect them, meanwhile thinking about the day when someday YOU might be her boyfriend, yet being too much of a pansy to ever express the thought. Even thought you thought the boyfriend was a jerk, you were too much of a chump to ever express the thought, even though you know sometimes an outside perspective can be a good thing. This is for the time she interrupted your best Halo 2 game ever with a phone call to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she hates most, and not only did you actually give a crap, but you paused the game for two hours to help her concoct a counter-rumor, despite thinking she was being completely immature and having nothing against the guy. Once again, you were too much of a sissy to actually TELL her that she was being immature and you have nothing against the guy. Then you unpaused the game, and promptly got shot down. Way to go. This is for the time she didn't have a date, so after you, who wants to get serious with her, vowed in numerous ways that nothing serious was going on (which misleads her into thinking you only want to be her friend), she dragged you out to a party where the beer sucked, you didn't know anybody, and she flirted shamelessly with you, but then saying "Oh, we're just friends!", and you went even though you hated it. And even though you were just a symbolic warm body to feed her ego, you went along anyways. Because you're a wuss like that, yet you think it makes you nice.

 

The "nice guys" don't often get blame where blame is due. And perhaps more disturbing, they actually have the audacity to call themselves nice even after being so misleading and manipulative. They think they deserve to get laid or get in relationships, but no hell in way should they, if they don't have the balls to go for what they want. They explain this trend by concluding that females are illogical, manipulative *****es (which directly contradicts all of his feigned respect for women and pretend compliments to his female friends) who say they want to date a nice guy, but when presented with these self-adorned "nice guys", they say "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me". The girls are letting him down nicely. What they really mean is "not only is he a wuss who gets walked all over, but he is scared to ask me out. I'm a woman! I want a strong guy who will make me feel feminine by being the one to make the first move!". Other common replies are "It would ruin the friendship" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I can't possibly ask him out!" which are euphemisms for "We'd have nothing to do or talk about because all he ever wants to talk about are my problems with OTHER guys" and "I'd get bored with a guy who will let himself get walked all over!" The nice guys come up with more and more explanations for this "phenomenon", without even stopping to consider that when a girl says she wants a nice guy, she means a nice guy WITH BALLS, who has more to his personality than just being NICE. When presented with a choice of nice vs ballsy, women take ballsy almost every time. The "nice guy" will wait and wait, and eventually, after getting played and tossed nonstop, one of his female friends will settle for him, whipping him into psychological submission. This is the most that a "nice guy" can hope for. How sad.

 

So until these girls pop up, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know that you don't realize you're just a manipulative wuss in disguise. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your utter servitude and never speaking your mind. For all the crazy, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations when you are the faceless, nameless nobody, my gratitude goes out to you. Without guys like you, guys like me, who have more complex personalities than you, with "nice" being just one factor (and we have confidence too), and who understand the TRUE meaning of "just be yourself", would have more competition. Not that I'm worried about that, but with you around, the selection of single women looking for a REAL good guy is just a bit larger. Even we get sick of you sometimes, though, and wish you would grow a pair and just go for what you want.

 

REPOST if you are a girl who wants to educate the self-proclaimed "nice guys" so that they might actually become datable.

 

OR: Repost if you are a guy who is sick of your male friends being wusses.

 

 

Enjoy 8)

[Protex]

This is quite possibly the stupidest and most misleading thing I have ever read.

 

... and I indulge on the tabloids.

[bangdaddy]

This is quite possibly the stupidest and most misleading thing I have ever read.

 

 

LOL i hear ya.

Oh yeah and theres no reason to repost this garbage..

man they must be having troubles getting any, if they have to post this propaganda trying to brainwash people....

[Minty80]

There are some awesome articles on "nice guys" here link removed (Just fill in the *'s with the most appropriate letters) that would probably help people get a better take on what the OP is talking about.

[Blurr]

It is very rude and degrading to honest nice guys who's every thought isn't about sex...but it's an article and one that you don't have to take to heart.

 

I can say that for a long time I've been the shy, nice guy but have been working on it the last while. But even being the shy, nice guy I've had girlfriends and such before...perhaps not anything overly successful...but still.

 

Not really an article I enjoyed reading or will care to read again.

[bellamcb]

So assanine! An idiot wrote this. An angry, jealous, petty idiot who is trying to make excuses for being an a**hole.

[SkyFire]

propaganda trying to brainwash people....

 

Isnt that the whole niceguy thing as they are described in the article?

 

This post created just the reaction I thought it would. I still agree with it.

[bangdaddy]

good for you, whatever i don't have time for childish conversations on how nice guys spew lies who cares...grow up. " I still think what my friends write about other people is right". Grow up stand on your own to feet and judge people for what you have experianced not what you're assinine friend says.

[SkyFire]

First of all, you completely misunderstood this article. The point of it is not that nce guys are dishonest and spew lies, it is that nice guys are allowing themselves to be doormats for women, and still expect to get women.

 

When did I say " I still think what my friends write about other people is right".... my friend did not even write this, he sent it to me because it amused him.

 

And I have plenty of experience to prove this to be correct.

[ShySoul]

One word: Bitter.

 

This is designed for all the bitter guys who choose to give up and buy into the garbage that the mainstream spews at us. This is designed for all the guys who don't have confidence in themselves, who would rather get mad and lash out, criticize, instead of seeing that the nice guys are the ones who are right. The nice guys are the ones who end up ahead while jerks are still playing games and spinning there wheels. Nice guys not only finish first, they finish best. And the jerks, and jerk sympathizers such as the orginator of the article, are still wandering around lost, looking for the finish line.

 

Every experience you have of nice guys finishing last, I have a story of a nice guys doing the right thing, making a lady feel special, and ultimately ending up happier then he thought possible.

 

It's not that nice guys let themselves be doormats. That isn't what a nice guy is. A nice guy does the right thing, and if that means lending a shoulder to cry on or listening to her problems. If doing that makes me a whimp and is wrong, I don't want to be right. I'll take the advice of the women I talk to, that's older women who have been married for a number of years, who advise me that being a nice, caring gentleman is what a girl really wants.

 

So nice guys, stand up and take a bow. You deserve it.

[broom]

i skimmed the original "ode to nice guys" article before.

 

my comments are

 

the guys described in this article aren't even genuinely nice! they're just pushovers, suckups, wusses trying to get into a woman's pants.

 

the reason their doing all these things is in hopes of gettin the woman to notice them right? not because this is who they genuinely are right?

 

in that case, can we even say they are "nice" guys in the first place? how about guys who pretend to be "nice" to get in with a woman?

 

also, the point is, these guys blame their relationship problems on women. they say, it is the woman's fault because she takes me for granted because im too nice. why dont they blame themselves? they should blame it on their own inability to interest and attract women.

 

the actions stated above shows that the guy has no respect for himself, no boundaries, kisses butt like crazy and especially has no respect for women in having that sort of attitude/behavior/blame.

 

who wants a guy like that?? can you blame women for seeing through that type of act??

 

also, being "nice" doesn't make up for everything. say a woman is nice. but she is also fat, short, and ugly. would a guy want her just because she is nice? being "nice" wont make up for your shortcomings.

 

the "nice" guy debate is truly delusional. it is just an excuse to place blame somewhere else instead of selfexamination.

[traz]

The article doesn't describe the nice guy, it describes the ball-less bitter guy. Believe it or not, they aren't the same, and there ARE nice guys who aren't ball-less or bitter

 

Though, there is a class of men that fits the description of the article...its just not the real nice guys.

[arrowbee]

Without guys like you, guys like me, who have more complex personalities than you, with "nice" being just one factor (and we have confidence too),

 

 

Outgoing guys don't have complex personalities. That's a contradiction in terms. People with complex personalities are too busy thinking about stuff, and working on stuff, to devote any precious energy to being outgoing.

 

I actually had a woman tell me once, "I need to be with a man who's easy for me to figure out."

[ShySoul]

The article doesn't describe the nice guy, it describes the ball-less bitter guy. Believe it or not, they aren't the same, and there ARE nice guys who aren't ball-less or bitter

 

Yep, the true nice guys are nothing like the article describes. Talking about being nice being a problem is really just an easy excuse for guys who don't believe in themselves, aren't as nice as they claim, and want to find something to complain about. Someone who is truly nice generally tends to be humble as well, not expecting anything in return. That's not the point of being nice. Its not what you get out of it, it's what others get.

 

The funny thing is that the author of the article was probably describing himself when he wrote it.

 

also, being "nice" doesn't make up for everything. say a woman is nice. but she is also fat, short, and ugly. would a guy want her just because she is nice? being "nice" wont make up for your shortcomings.

 

I'd rather she be "fat, short, and ugly" but nice then to be a supermodel in appearance but with a bad attitude. I wouldn't want a girl just because she is nice, her overall personality and having things in common is important too. But the appearance isn't a factor. I mean, who am I to call someone ugly, that's not being a nice guy either. And if I like who she is, then those things wouldn't be shortcomings, they would simple be part of the whole picture, a woman that I think is beautiful inside and out.

[SkyFire]

Outgoing guys don't have complex personalities. That's a contradiction in terms. People with complex personalities are too busy thinking about stuff, and working on stuff, to devote any precious energy to being outgoing.

 

"Outgoing guys", as in guys that are social, dont have complex personalities? Socializing is a part of being a human being. We are by nature social creatures.

 

 

I actually had a woman tell me once, "I need to be with a man who's easy for me to figure out."

 

Actually, women prefer guys that are HARD to figure out.

 

To prove this, take a woman who is attracted to you but not to a point of infatuation. Call her, and have a 3 hour conversation telling her everything about you. Then ask her out on a date. See how long it takes for her to say "lets just be friends".

[bellamcb]

At 16, I'm finding it hard to believe you're an authority on what women are attracted to. What does your girlfriend say? Hmmm?

 

This article really is meant to soothe the egos of those that can't get women and want to blame it on the nice guys (or anyone else apparently), that can. It's just hilarious and so transparent.

[SkyFire]

At 16, I'm finding it hard to believe you're an authority on what women are attracted to. What does your girlfriend say? Hmmm?

 

This article really is meant to soothe the egos of those that can't get women and want to blame it on the nice guys (or anyone else apparently), that can. It's just hilarious and so transparent.

 

What does age matter? Ive learned from my mistakes and had a few people in life to help me change. I dont have a girlfriend. Nor do I want one right now.

 

Explain to me how exactly this article is supposed to soothe the egos of those who cant get women. Youre a woman.. would you really want to date guys who fit the description in the article?

 

 

Shysoul:

 

You said the point of being nice is what others get out of it, not you.

 

Think about it.. you do everything to feel good about yourself. You are nice to someone because it makes them feel good, thus you feel good because you've done a good deed. You have friends not because you care for them (im not saying you dont), but ultimately to fell good about YOURSELF. Everything you do is selfish.

[ShySoul]

Think about it.. you do everything to feel good about yourself. You are nice to someone because it makes them feel good, thus you feel good because you've done a good deed. You have friends not because you care for them (im not saying you dont), but ultimately to fell good about YOURSELF. Everything you do is selfish.

 

That's a very negative way to look at the world. Everyone is ultimately out for themselves. It's all selfishness and wanting what gives us pleasure. Humility is a tired notion last seen in the early 50's. Geez, lets look at the glass as half full for a change.

 

I won't deny that a thank you is nice or that when I see someone smile, I feel good. But that's not what drives me. I would help someone even if I never got a single bit of credit for it. I would help someone even if they criticized me afterwards. I help people without thinking of myself at all, what matters is that they are better off because of my efforts. Any feeling of pride in myself is kept to a minimum and is a by product of my actions, not the main goal. Nice and helping people for no other reason then to be nice and help people. Fighting the good fight simple because you can. If more people were like that the world would be a better place.

 

Explain to me how exactly this article is supposed to soothe the egos of those who cant get women. Youre a woman.. would you really want to date guys who fit the description in the article?

 

Because those guys are angry and upset. When you are angry and upset you want to lash out at something. It doesn't matter if what you are lashing out at is the real cause of the problem or if it will help anything, you do it to let off steam. You do it because you don't know what else to do. It's like getting into a fight with one of your friends and then being grumpy and fighting with your other friends. You are in a bad mood so whoever is in your line of sight gets it. Or a healthier example, being upset and taking it out on a punching bad. The bag didn't do it. It doesn't solve the problem. But once you worked it out of your system, you feel relieved, less tension.

 

In writing or reading the article, guys who can't get a date have something they can direct that anger and frustration towards. They have an easy thing to blame, being nice. They can make themselves feel better by putting down "nice guys." It doesn't matter if what they are saying is false or if its wrong to be doing it. All they want is to a focus for their frustrations.

 

To prove this, take a woman who is attracted to you but not to a point of infatuation. Call her, and have a 3 hour conversation telling her everything about you. Then ask her out on a date. See how long it takes for her to say "lets just be friends".

 

Sorry, that doesn't prove your point. It proves that a women would get freaked out by someone who is overbearing and reveals every little detail in a marathon 3 hour conversation. That doesn't say they want someone hard to read. It doesn't say they don't want someone easy to read.

 

What we all want, regardless of gender, is someone who understands us and someone with whom we understand. We want that bond, that connection, that sense that the two of us gets each other like no one else does or can. Some who is difficult to figure out, especially those who do so intentionally, make it harder to reach that level of understanding that we are searching for.

 

Don't think about people reading you. Just be you. To someone who is similar to you, you will be very easy to figure. If the person is completely different in personality, you may be hard to figure out. Or it could be that some people are just more skilled with figuring people out then others. Doesn't matter. If you are yourself you will find that connection with the right person and you will both be able to figure each other out. Women want guys who are themselves, end of story.

[bangdaddy]

I think the jury has spoken.

[DN]

 

Shysoul:

 

You said the point of being nice is what others get out of it, not you.

 

Think about it.. you do everything to feel good about yourself. You are nice to someone because it makes them feel good, thus you feel good because you've done a good deed. You have friends not because you care for them (im not saying you dont), but ultimately to fell good about YOURSELF. Everything you do is selfish.

 

This is a question that has been asked and debated for centuries. Here, for instance.

 

link removed