I blew my dating with a girl I genuinely liked alot

[Zamn]

I blew my dating with a girl I really liked due to my anxiety problems 

 

So context, I am 19M , I had been chasing someone for a while. I was genuinely very interested in them as initially I had a great spark with them. Days passed and we became friends I lost hope and gave up for it was also affecting me now mentally. 

 

Out of nowhere she asked me out and we started dating. Reason was that she felt she was opening up to someone in years. Yet she told me I wasn't her type. I was also the first guy she dated in college. We went on a date. Kissed on the 4th day. But then things changed. I started overthinking and getting anxious. I had a fear of screwing this up. The anxiety was so intense I couldn't properly connect with her and I binned a date on our 3rd week. We met once then and the same anxiety *** happened due to which I couldn't communicate this problem. I decided to tell her the next day but she dumped me in the night. 

 

Since breakup I was very distracted and disturbed. She said she doesn't wanna be friends now and doesn't wanna see me. I anyway told her about anxiety thing and how it was affecting my behavior.

It's been a month and we are gonna meet, what do I do? Do I tell her all this? Do I try to get her back or try to be friends or break contact absolutely ?

[Capricorn3]

4 minutes ago, Zamn said:

 I anyway told her about anxiety thing and how it was affecting my behavior.

What was her response when you told her about your anxiety/behavior?

[Wiseman2]

19 minutes ago, Zamn said:

It's been a month and we are gonna meet, what do I do? 

What is the purpose of the meeting? Does she want to reconcile? Be friends? Finally end it for "closure"?

Please understand that your physical and mental health are your responsibility. Dating is not therapy, nor should you careen through people's lives standing them up, hurting them, etc. 

Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done. Please ask for a referral to a licensed qualified therapist for ongoing support. 

Please consider taking a break from dating until you get your anxiety under better control. 

[yogacat]

Umm. Sucks for you dude but let her go!

It's natural to feel broken and miserable but it's just a small dent in your life. You can't afford to let it dominate all of your mind. It's time to move on, you guys were together for just 3 weeks and that one meet after break-up won't really matter. So it's better to get up and move on.

[ShySoul]

1 hour ago, Zamn said:

She said she doesn't wanna be friends now and doesn't wanna see me. I anyway told her about anxiety thing and how it was affecting my behavior.

It's been a month and we are gonna meet, what do I do? Do I tell her all this?

So you already told her about the anxiety? And she still wants to meet with you? Doesn't sound like she has closed off being friends then.

Just be honest and be you. Don't try to figure out what to do or overthink things, that's what caused you problems in the first place. Don't go into it expecting anything to happen or a spark to be rekindled. If something does, that's awesome. If it doesn't, that's fine too. The goal should just be to have a good time together and see if you can continue a friendship. We can always use a friend, so I wouldn't give up on that if possible. If you feel bad for how you acted, apologize and let her know you're working on yourself (and of course, actually focus on working on yourself). 

A wise friend once advised me to stop worrying about all the things that could happen and learn to be in the moment. I'll say the same to you. Slow down and appreciate the here and now. Focus on just enjoying spending time with the person. You can't change the past. What happens in the future is unknown. But you can make this moment with her special and a good time for both of you. Just go with the flow and fully embrace being in that moment.

[MissCanuck]

Until you get a handle on your anxiety, dating is going to be nearly impossible. 

What steps have you taken to manage it? 

[smackie9]

You are obviously not ready to date if you can't get a handle on your anxiety. Maybe try just going out with other girls that don't intimidate you. Getting all worked up, and putting girls on a pedestal is the worst thing you can do.