Literally every other day my mood to the break up changes

[Sparkie84]

Like clockwork one day I feel relief and think about the future and Christmas and feel productive.

The next day I will wake up cry, don't function, anything sets me off crying. I obsessively check on him. 

I hate feeling like this. I hate it so much. 

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, Sparkie84 said:

The next day I will wake up cry, don't function, anything sets me off crying. I obsessively check on him. I hate feeling like this. I hate it so much. 

Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

While breakups and divorce hurts, you could also be making poor choices as a result of poor mental health and exacerbating it with stressful situationships with damaging men. Unfortunately creating a spiral of bad health - bad choices - worsening health -worse choices . 

 Please delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Is this the same man?:

 

[shouldhavelearned]

Time and more time

Focus on the positive

Find things that make you happy and keep the day moving

[boltnrun]

14 hours ago, Sparkie84 said:

I obsessively check on him. 

Is there some reason why you won't delete him from your social media?  Are you hoping for reconciliation and think remaining on his friend list would help with that?

[Sparkie84]

On 11/19/2023 at 1:53 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Please see a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health and get some tests done. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

While breakups and divorce hurts, you could also be making poor choices as a result of poor mental health and exacerbating it with stressful situationships with damaging men. Unfortunately creating a spiral of bad health - bad choices - worsening health -worse choices . 

 Please delete and block him from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Is this the same man?:

 

Hi

I already have a diagnosed mental illness and have treatment. I have struggled with my mental health since childhood. 

[Sparkie84]

On 11/19/2023 at 4:23 PM, boltnrun said:

Is there some reason why you won't delete him from your social media?  Are you hoping for reconciliation and think remaining on his friend list would help with that?

I don't have him on social media but can still check his profile. I was checking for emails constantly.
Thankfully I'm not now 

[LINDA]

Sorry, because you feel this way, but I assure you, I do the same after my breakup.

Just delete everything may lead you to him, and even if you are about to do the "check," just drop your phone and do something else, because that will change nothing after all.

Focus on doing more activities and meeting other people. It definitely helps.

I am sure by time we will heal completely. Also, sharing your feelings here will make you feel better.

[catfeeder]

2 hours ago, LINDA said:

Sorry, because you feel this way, but I assure you, I do the same after my breakup.

Just delete everything may lead you to him, and even if you are about to do the "check," just drop your phone and do something else, because that will change nothing after all.

Focus on doing more activities and meeting other people. It definitely helps.

I am sure by time we will heal completely. Also, sharing your feelings here will make you feel better.

Yep! One helpful mantra before dropping the phone, “If anything changes, he knows how to reach me.”

And don’t worry about losing the strength you gain on the good days, you won’t. It just feels like it. Decide on a goal of having two good days in a row. Then three. You’ll notice the good days start outnumbering the bad ones.

When you wake up and want to cry, say, “I’m just cleansing right now, but I intend to make this a very good day…”

Then start thinking of ways you can help someone out or otherwise reward yourself with something comforting to make your day fabulous.

Head high, you can do this!

[Cherylyn]

Concentrate on your health.  There is a sound strong body,  strong mind connection.  Take good care of yourself if you want to be a more positive person.

Have outlets.  Help the disadvantaged,  surround yourself with very moral people and positive role models.  Get a hobby,  become industrious in your home,  work hard (nose to the grindstone) and get busy.  Don't give yourself time to feel rotten.

Feel relieved that you no longer have to put effort into a floundering relationship.  Put a positive spin on it.

[ilovecats666]

I'm sorry, break ups are rough. And I think it's totally normal to be feeling both relief and grief. Especially if it was a tumultuous or complicated relationship.

How long ago was the break up? Grieving like this is normal. But if it's affecting you this much months down the road, I'd seek some therapy. It helps. It can be so great to have someone help you regulate.