What should I do about my friend?

[Tinydance]

I've known one of my best friends for 20 years, since I was a teenager. We worked together only briefly but we really connected and became best friends. We used to catch up all the time in our early 20's but then didn't see each other as often when she settled down with her husband about 15 years ago. They have two small children together. Her husband is Jewish and his family originally came from Israel to Australia when he was a child. She's not Jewish herself.

In the last few years I've just been feeling a bit confused because I feel like my friend has been changing. A couple of years ago she was diagnosed with ADHD and started getting therapy for it and using dexamthetamine medication. She said she'd been really struggling with all these symptoms. But the thing is she literally never told me this and I thought we told each other everything. In all honesty I had never really noticed her having any ADHD symptoms which I found really strange. Her two children were also diagnosed one with ADHD and one with autism.

First of all I just want to mention that I don't want to start any debate about the Palestine and Israel war. I actually knew very little about it and I'm also not a political person at all. I'll be honest that I don't actually know that much about it still and feel a bit ignorant. I don't feel like I can really comment on it or take any side because I don't have knowledge of whose side I should be taking, etc.

Anyway, so I'm not sure if it's only to do with the Isreal and Palestine war, but my friend has been acting really mentally unstable. All she talks about basically 24/7 is that war. She's extremely anti Palestine and she's posting about it constantly on social media and talking about it absolutely constantly. I do understand where she's coming from of course because all her husband's extended family are in Isreal and one of his relatives was actually killed by Hamas.

What is concerning though is that my friend has become really angry and verbally aggressive. In my opinion she's displaying erratic behaviours. She's also telling me all these things that she's never told me ever before and we're really close and have known each other for 20 years.

She was looking up the Twitter of her ex from 20 years ago. He's not in her life or on her social media. She saw on his Twitter that he supports Palestine and she got really angry. She made a fake Twitter account and attacked him. She said she called him a rapist because she realised when they were dating he raped her. I'm not trying to doubt her but she never mentioned this to me before. 

Also she just told me that she's thinking of cutting her mother out of her life because her mother supports Palestine. She then told me that she's realised that her mother is probably a narcissist and that she was always emotionally abusive to her. That her mother always makes everything about herself and gaslights and she caused her so much trauma. I'm just really confused because again, she never told me anything like this about her mother at all. I actually thought that her and her Mum were really close. I got along well with her Mum and usually sent her a Christmas card. I even sometimes spent Christmas with their family when my own parents went away and I was single and on my own. I never noticed anything like this about her mother and thought she was nice??!

Also my friend follows this Australian celebrity feminist and that feminist was pro Palestine. So my friend started sending her all these messages on social media. Weirdly the celebrity was actually replying. Now my friend is engaged in some kind of ongoing argument with her.

The other day my friend said she was staying at a hotel for her work training and she had a mental breakdown and she was feeling suicidal. I asked her today if she's still seeing her therapist and she said: "Ha ha I know I'm acting crazy". 

I'm just really confused about what's going on because this doesn't seem like my best friend of 20 years that I know. I mean, it's clear that she's struggling with her mental health really badly and this is probably mostly what the issue is. What's really bizarre is she actually seemed fine and fairly normal up until Palestine attacked Isreal. I understand she has strong opinions about the war but it also seems like she's actually deliberately seeking people out who don't agree with her and trying to attack them.

I don't know what to think because prior to this she had never told me anything that bad about her mother. Now she said she's going to cut her off because she supports Palestine. And she called her ex who supports Palestine a rapist and she never said that before.

I'm feeling really uncomfortable about these behaviours but I can't just abandon my best friend...?

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

.   but I can't just abandon my best friend...?

Sorry this is happening. You can step away from her for the time being. Subtly reset your social media so that her rants and trolling don't affect you.  Unfollow, delete, block, mute or do whatever the social media apps have as remedies for rants and trolling.There's no need to support that. 

[Seraphim]

Maybe ask her what kind of help she needs from you? 

[Batya33]

If you are not up on the current events from reputable sources and don’t choose to be and don’t choose to be political that’s perfectly fine. And given those choices I’d completely stay out of any detailed discussions with her since you’re out of your element and it’s not an element you wish to be in. 
For example in my world homeschooling is a big Thing.  Meaning where I live. I don’t. I never will. I actually do know more than a little about it and I used to teach. I also know it’s highly sensitive and also can get political or have even religious overtones.  
So - full stop - I do not engage in any detailed discussions about it. If a friend is really into it I support in a general way. Meaning. I listen mostly and if I hear what seems like out there opinions about traditional schooling or school socialization - I - do not give input. I don’t go there. I can be her friend and supportive and not go there. 
Yesrs afo I had a friend who went off the rails about a medical issue. She was a self described hypochondriac. I didn’t recognize her anymore in our phone calls.  She was Uber focused on her symptoms , the doctors who she saw , the doctors who didn’t see her Or wouldn’t.  The internet searches she obsessively did. She sent me photos of her rashes and swelling. I didn’t ask to see. 
It got to a point where I did have to distance myself. I knew I couldn’t tell her she’d gone too far.  She wasn’t anywhere near ready to hear that. 
So I want to share this because as you can see there’s no easy answer. My go to answer is Stay. Out. Of it. Because you have no background for one thing. And it’s also ok to distance yourself if it becomes too much. In my first example it did not. In my second it did. What you’re referring to seems to be a highly charged highly sensitive subject to many. You can be there as a friend without getting into the weeds and it’s fine if you need to step away. 

[Cherylyn]

Your friend is really angry and verbally aggressive.  I don't care what people's reasons are.  They have no right to treat others badly.  It's not "why."  It's "what" regarding unacceptable and intolerable behaviors. 

A lot of people don't share everything with you.  They'll only say so much and the rest?  They keep to themselves because some information is either too painful,  embarrassing or both. 

As for what to do?  You wouldn't be abandoning your friend should you enforce strict boundaries with her or drift apart if you're left with no other recourse.  The best thing to do is back off and learn to avoid her because she isn't pleasant with you,  doesn't treat you with common decency and her behavior is very obnoxiously rude. 

I've known people similar to your friend.  It's beyond your control.  The best thing to do is save yourself.  You don't need ill behaved people in your life.  Savor your independent mind and surround yourself with very moral,  honorable people.  All the rest?  They can go to you know where for all you care.   🙄 This is my assessment which I apply to anyone who won't treat you with common sense respect.