I can’t tell if my girlfriend is cheating on me or not

[Kwothe28]

5 hours ago, guyguy420 said:

someone said in the last post I must be a very soft person and admittedly I am

I said that. Because I think thats a "you" issue. In an ideal world maybe it wouldnt be. Because there is nothing inherently wrong in being "too good". However we are not living in an ideal world. When people see that you behave in that way people will try to get advantage of that. Your Boss would give you more work without a proper raise, your friends will ask all kinds of favors including money ones, and your girlfriend will cheat on you since she knows there are no consequences of it and that you will never leave her.

Case in point

6 hours ago, guyguy420 said:

I am incapable of just dropping her or forgetting our well and good moments.

She behaves unhinged, goes into your privacy at unhealthy levels and probably cheats on you. But you still wont drop her on the street where she belongs. We deserve what we tolerate. Remember that next time she goes to a house of somebody who blatantly said in front of her boyfriend how he would have sex with her.

[Batya33]

If you meet a person who's gone through similar trauma like you it can in the right circumstances and environment be very helpful to interact with that person and share your experiences.  But not by starting a romantic relationship.  That throws in too many complications such that any benefit you might get is cast to the side in favor of high emotions etc especially if you're both teenagers.  If  you get a lot out of the shared history find support groups either in person or even on line where you can share with people like this in a safe environment led by or facilitated by a mental health provider of some sort.

I'm sorry for what you went through.

[poorlittlefish]

Often when someone is so paranoid about their partner, checking their phone and generally policing them, it's because they are themselves untrustworthy. I think your girlfriend is a prime example. This relationship is very unhealthy and you would be better off cutting your losses before things get even worse and you get hurt. 

[smackie9]

I experienced an abusive relationship for two years, and I will tell you this, it will only make your condition worse. You ain't doing yourself any favors by staying. You will lose all self worth, your will have no will, no friends, you will find yourself more depressed/lonely than you have ever been. It's hard to leave, and yes the adjustment will be difficult, but I tell ya it will be the best thing you can do for yourself. 

[lostandhurt]

17 hours ago, boltnrun said:

He said she won't even have sex with him! Only once in the past few months.

At least if you were getting some booty out of it that would be SOMETHING. 

Yikes!   I have put up with some crap for a bit because the sex was out of this world but after a while even that wasn't enough and I snapped out of it.

 Lost

[lostandhurt]

Let's say you didn't have a traumatic past.  Would you stay with her?

No matter your past and your healing and recovery from it this young woman is not good for you, heck she is not good for anyone until she grows up and decides to treat others with respect, kindness and empathy.

 No matter your situation or condition you do not deserve or warrant this type of horrible treatment and lets be clear here, she is treating you horribly so please stop saying and even trying to convince yourself that you are okay with any of it.  This isn't how a caring and loving relationship is supposed to be in the least.

 Do you have a general physician you see?  If so give them a call and ask to be referred to a therapist to help you with your trauma.  This isn't something you can DIY your way out of.

 She isn't the best you can do and you do not have to live like this.

 Lost

[boltnrun]

Just FYI, as I said I too was abused (for about eight years) and I have never, ever treated anyone the way this young woman treats you. It wouldn't even occur to me to act like that. Especially toward someone I claim to love.

Let me ask you this: would you ever treat HER the way she treats you? If not, why does she get to?