Friend's extreme fear of Covid has returned

[Seraphim]

7 minutes ago, WorkSux56 said:

You're right. Seeing so many people walk away from her was sad. I will say this though. She had gotten to where all she would post were things from 2020. That included posting those things to friends pages, even after they had asked her more than a few times not to do it. That included not only virus memes, but also outdated news stories about the racial injustice protests. Politics got involved and that rarely, if ever, lead to anything good.  So, she didn't exactly do herself any favors there. Still, I wished it didn't result in so many people leaving her 

I wouldn’t have a grievance with her posting on her own page just scroll on by , but when people start posting their anxiety driven issues on other people’s pages , that is totally out of line . 

[WorkSux56]

1 minute ago, Seraphim said:

I wouldn’t have a grievance with her posting on her own page just scroll on by , but when people start posting their anxiety driven issues on other people’s pages , that is totally out of line . 

Exactly. I told her that if she continued with that, the number of FB friends that had dropped from over 100 to less than 10 would eventually go to 0. It's like she's lost without something 2020 related to discuss. Be it the virus, the protests and riots, broken supply chains, murder hornets, wildfires, the 2020 election, the pushback from some on the stay at home orders, shortages of guns and ammo, etc. Then she started taking all that to friends' pages and it got rather heated fast. Virus related anxiety aside, I wonder if 2020 kind of kept her on the edge of her seat and entertained her, so to speak, and now, things are much quieter and not as interesting. 

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, WorkSux56 said:

Exactly. I told her that if she continued with that, the number of FB friends that had dropped from over 100 to less than 10 would eventually go to 0. It's like she's lost without something 2020 related to discuss. Be it the virus, the protests and riots, broken supply chains, murder hornets, wildfires, the 2020 election, the pushback from some on the stay at home orders, shortages of guns and ammo, etc. Then she started taking all that to friends' pages and it got rather heated fast. Virus related anxiety aside, I wonder if 2020 kind of kept her on the edge of her seat and entertained her, so to speak, and now, things are much quieter and not as interesting. 

Oh there are still lots of things to be passionate about .. lol. But it seems she can’t move on for whatever reason. 

[WorkSux56]

Just now, Seraphim said:

Oh there are still lots of things to be passionate about .. lol. But it seems she can’t move on for whatever reason. 

I don't know why anyone would enjoy reliving 2020. Lord, what a horrendous time. If I never again heard another word about that year and all that it entailed, it would still be way too soon, LOL. I mean, even if 2020 were a happy time, like everything else, things have a season and they come and go. When she was asking me to be straight up with her regarding her continued 2020 interest, I told her "well, let's say it's 1980...you're watching an episode of Three's Company and Jack Tripper falls over the coffee table, again. Are you still laughing after seeing it for four years and probably the 60th or 70th time?" 

[Seraphim]

Just now, WorkSux56 said:

I don't know why anyone would enjoy reliving 2020. Lord, what a horrendous time. If I never again heard another word about that year and all that it entailed, it would still be way too soon, LOL. I mean, even if 2020 were a happy time, like everything else, things have a season and they come and go. When she was asking me to be straight up with her regarding her continued 2020 interest, I told her "well, let's say it's 1980...you're watching an episode of Three's Company and Jack Tripper falls over the coffee table, again. Are you still laughing after seeing it for four years and probably the 60th or 70th time?" 

There’s enough with the fallout from 2020 that we’re still dealing with. Really she doesn’t need to look back to 2020. We still have a lot of the same issues. We still have supply problems,  people still not working, economy might tank , inflation out the wazoo. Believe me we don’t need to look to 2020.

[boltnrun]

The ONLY thing that comforted me about 2020 was that everyone was staying home and there were no crowds. But the REASON for that was tragic and sad and terrifying, so no, I don't wish we were still in that dark place where there was no vaccine, no treatments and hospitals were horribly overcrowded and healthcare workers were terribly overwhelmed.

She seems to be even more mentally ill than your original post indicated. She really, really needs professional help. Unfortunately no one can force her unless and until she becomes a danger to herself or others or unless she attempts to harm herself, and no one wants that.

I'm sorry, but she definitely is in no place mentally to even attempt to be in a love relationship. 

[SherrySher]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

Oh there are still lots of things to be passionate about .. lol. But it seems she can’t move on for whatever reason. 

My guess is trauma.

She had loved ones die from Covid and is afraid of losing more people and going through more trauma due to it.

It's not something she is enjoying doing. In fact it's probably like a nightmare that never ends.

She needs help with her PTSD and anxiety. 

[SherrySher]

1 hour ago, WorkSux56 said:

I don't know why anyone would enjoy reliving 2020. Lord, what a horrendous time. If I never again heard another word about that year and all that it entailed, it would still be way too soon, LOL. I mean, even if 2020 were a happy time, like everything else, things have a season and they come and go. When she was asking me to be straight up with her regarding her continued 2020 interest, I told her "well, let's say it's 1980...you're watching an episode of Three's Company and Jack Tripper falls over the coffee table, again. Are you still laughing after seeing it for four years and probably the 60th or 70th time?" 

OP, did you read the post I made trying to give you insight to what she is going through?

I explained to you why she is behaving the way she is and you're making it sound as though she is enjoying relieving all of this and making fun of it, as though this girl isn't suffering.

It's one thing to be concerned about her, it's another to be talking about her like as though she is just annoying people for the sake of it, wanting to relive a horrible time for the sake of it and then having once again complete disregard to any of what I tried to explain and make out like you have no idea why she's doing it.

Are you truly her friend? Because friends don't put their friend down like this.

May people treat you better should the day ever come that you experience such extreme trauma that you end up suffering like this.

It's not like you've not been given the answers as to what is going on with her or how to navigate the whole issue.

Either support her and try to do right by her, or end the friendship because you are too triggered over how she is living her life.

 

[Seraphim]

38 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

My guess is trauma.

She had loved ones die from Covid and is afraid of losing more people and going through more trauma due to it.

It's not something she is enjoying doing. In fact it's probably like a nightmare that never ends.

She needs help with her PTSD and anxiety. 

I get that I have PTSD for over 40 years and anxiety as well. I had two family members die not directly of Covid but indirectly due to shut down of care. 
 

Thing is she wants to impose her anxiety on others so she needs to deal with it . 

[SherrySher]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

I get that I have PTSD for over 40 years and anxiety as well. I had two family members die not directly of Covid but indirectly due to shut down of care. 
 

Thing is she wants to impose her anxiety on others so she needs to deal with it . 

So sorry to hear of your loss.

I agree, she definitely needs to get help with her anxiety as it's gotten to be severe.

It must be difficult for her to try to live any kind of life being that scared all the time. 

[boltnrun]

I'm not sure she "wants" to impose her anxiety on others. I'm sure people with mental health conditions find themselves reacting or doing things they know are not particularly logical but they struggle to contain themselves. I still catch myself saying things that shouldn't be said, although I'm getting better at holding it in.

I sincerely wish my anxiety would go away. I don't enjoy living my life fearful and anxious. It's not fun. I can only imagine what she's going through. 

BUT...she does need to recognize her behavior is not sustainable. And seek professional help. I hope she does. 

[Seraphim]

3 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I'm not sure she "wants" to impose her anxiety on others. I'm sure people with mental health conditions find themselves reacting or doing things they know are not particularly logical but they struggle to contain themselves. I still catch myself saying things that shouldn't be said, although I'm getting better at holding it in.

I sincerely wish my anxiety would go away. I don't enjoy living my life fearful and anxious. It's not fun. I can only imagine what she's going through. 

BUT...she does need to recognize her behavior is not sustainable. And seek professional help. I hope she does. 

The only part I object to is her posting on other people’s pages. I wouldn’t care what she posted on hers or if she did it 24 hours a day. However, taking her memes and concerns to other people’s pages is concerning and inappropriate. I had people on FB tell me to pee off because I posted daily counts for two years . They said stop it or we will delete you , on MY OWN PAGE. I considered that an encroachment. So, it is only her imposing herself on others that would irritate me. 

[boltnrun]

I would guess in her muddled mind she thinks she's helping. That doesn't make it less annoying or OK but I could see how she might think she's providing useful information.

And that is likely why she's getting unfriended left and right. Most people wouldn't respond positively to having their personal profile pages invaded like that.

I hope she gets help. If she doesn't she could spiral downward until she's so severely affected she can't function. I wonder if her family has tried any sort of intervention.

[WorkSux56]

7 hours ago, SherrySher said:

OP, did you read the post I made trying to give you insight to what she is going through?

I explained to you why she is behaving the way she is and you're making it sound as though she is enjoying relieving all of this and making fun of it, as though this girl isn't suffering.

It's one thing to be concerned about her, it's another to be talking about her like as though she is just annoying people for the sake of it, wanting to relive a horrible time for the sake of it and then having once again complete disregard to any of what I tried to explain and make out like you have no idea why she's doing it.

Are you truly her friend? Because friends don't put their friend down like this.

May people treat you better should the day ever come that you experience such extreme trauma that you end up suffering like this.

It's not like you've not been given the answers as to what is going on with her or how to navigate the whole issue.

Either support her and try to do right by her, or end the friendship because you are too triggered over how she is living her life.

 

Chill out. I was referring to when she asked me to be completely straight with her about some things. What had happened was, she was starting to go to her friends FB pages and post old, outdated things about 2020. They stated to unfriend her as a result. So that’s when I said that even if 2020 were a happy time, people are going to get tired of hearing about it, especially on THEIR pages. And let’s just call a spade a spade here. People get tired of things like having their own pages inundated with posts from someone else, no matter if said individual is suffering from anxiety or not. That’s when I said that about watching Three’s Company and seeing the same old joke a thousand times. And let me be clear, a lot of what she was posting to her friends’ pages, as recently as this year, 2023, were joke memes about toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Hence the reason I used the Three’s Company reference when she asked me to be straight with her. No, people aren’t going to laugh about toilet paper 3 years later, even if it was funny three years ago. The issue is, she says “be straight with me” so I tell her to at least stop going to friends’ pages with old outdated posts and memes showing a group of people playing poker for toilet paper and hand sanitizer. She says ok, stops for maybe a day before starting back up again 

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, WorkSux56 said:

The issue is, she says “be straight with me”

What I would do is confirm what she means by this given her instability right now.

[Wiseman2]

18 hours ago, WorkSux56 said:

. Be it the virus, the protests and riots, broken supply chains, murder hornets, wildfires, the 2020 election, the pushback from some on the stay at home orders, shortages of guns and ammo, etc. 

Is there a way to mute, filter or reset your social media to control who posts what on your page? 

If she's going off on political rants and social warrior diatribes on her own page, just mute or block her. 

If she's posting it on your page, find a way to disable it or you may have to block her.

[boltnrun]

My Facebook account is set so no one can post on my page without me reviewing and approving the post first. 

[Batya33]

21 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

My Facebook account is set so no one can post on my page without me reviewing and approving the post first. 

Wow what a great idea !!

[WorkSux56]

That is a great idea. I'm setting mine that way as we speak 

[boltnrun]

44 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Wow what a great idea !!

You can do this by going into your account settings. It also requires you to approve when someone attempts to "tag" you or says they're "with" you.

I got tired of peoples' Scentsy parties being posted on my page by saying they were "with" me along with their entire friend list. 

[SherrySher]

I actually am pretty chill, OP (but I know you don't know that just by going on a few posts on a forum).

I am giving advice based on what you are posting.

My interpretation may not be 100%, but I am doing my best to give you advice that I feel would be helpful in dealing with this situation.

This lady has very high anxiety, and she is struggling a great deal.

I just want the best treatment towards her as she is already having a very bad time.

The picture you paint, is of someone who needs help with their significant anxiety and is not coping well with life and is not recovering from the pandemic, at all.

I really don't know how gentle you're being with her, but telling a complete stranger to "chill out" when they are trying to help, does raise eyebrows a bit.

[WorkSux56]

34 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

I actually am pretty chill, OP (but I know you don't know that just by going on a few posts on a forum).

I am giving advice based on what you are posting.

My interpretation may not be 100%, but I am doing my best to give you advice that I feel would be helpful in dealing with this situation.

This lady has very high anxiety, and she is struggling a great deal.

I just want the best treatment towards her as she is already having a very bad time.

The picture you paint, is of someone who needs help with their significant anxiety and is not coping well with life and is not recovering from the pandemic, at all.

I really don't know how gentle you're being with her, but telling a complete stranger to "chill out" when they are trying to help, does raise eyebrows a bit.

Maybe if you'd have been a part of the conversation her and I had had, you'd have a better understanding. Chill out was NOT meant to be offensive. Just an FYI, my friend thought that my Three's Company reference was funny. That had to do with her posting a toilet paper meme on someone else's page and I said "imagine seeing Jack Tripper fall over the coffee table, again. Are you still laughing after seeing it for four years and probably the 60th or 70th time?".  We were both laughing when we were having that particular talk. And I must say, it was really good hearing her laugh again. 

[Wonderstruck]

I agree with every single thing that @SherrySher has been saying in this thread.

You would do well to re-read her comments and really retain what she's trying to say.

 

On 4/14/2023 at 4:22 PM, WorkSux56 said:

I'll admit, I want her to snap out of this, so to speak, for my own selfish reasons.

This comment REALLY rubs me the wrong way.

Would you tell someone with debilitating depression to "Snap out of it and start being happy!", because their depressive episodes are "annoying" and "inconvenient" for you?

You can't have a "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!" mentality when it comes to mental health issues.

[WorkSux56]

Just now, Wonderstruck said:

I agree with every single thing that @SherrySher has been saying in this thread.

You would do well to re-read her comments and really retain what she's trying to say.

 

This comment REALLY rubs me the wrong way.

Would you tell someone with debilitating depression to "Snap out of it and start being happy!", because their depressive episodes are "annoying" and "inconvenient" for you?

You can't have a "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps!" mentality when it comes to mental health issues.

Yes, for my own selfish reasons, it'd be good to have her back. Yeah, I said it. That's selfish of me, sure. But it also speaks to how much I wish the previous version of her could return so she could hike and camp and go to museums and offbeat attractions in other areas of the country. The things SHE used to do and ENJOYED doing and wishes she could again. Maybe she will one day and maybe she won't. This could be permanent. For her sake, I hope it isn't. But, it may very well be. Yes, it SO inconveniences me!! It makes me sit with my arms folded pouting like a child. 🙄

[Seraphim]

It will only be permanent if she choses that. She has to do the work to recover though . My dad was severely mentally ill and never med or therapy compliant like ever and is the main reason he died. It was so bad it affected his physical health. 

I have had bad bad mental health issues over the years but got lots of help. I had a nervous breakdown 11 years ago and totally non functional. 
 

My husband has been suicidal 3 times in his life twice over the past 6 months. We got him lots of help. He was immediately hospitalized and stabilized. His medications were revised and added to and he had a psychiatrist and psychologist and doctor and neurologist all on his team and he is doing awesome for now . 
 

So, not a stranger to mental health issues but I do KNOW this is something the person themselves needs to do therapy to overcome the issues and actually DO THE WORK to get better.