She broke up with me because of my gambling

[boltnrun]

Asking other addicts if you're an addict isn't the correct way to get a diagnosis. 

Why are you so resistant to working on your addiction? Generally speaking, addicts almost always deny they're addicts. They say "I'm not addicted.  I can quit anytime I want. I have it completely under control. I only did it because my friends were doing it/it was just for fun/I was bored." People who don't have gambling problems do not lose  large sums of money over a period time. And they don't need to "block" gaming sites and then go on to try to gamble again to "test" themselves.

You are at the point called "denial". It's not unusual but it's also not helpful to address the addiction issue.

Let's say she does agree to talk to you. She asks what you're doing to stop your addiction. You plan to say "I decided to stop"? You made her that promise before and broke it. Do you feel she should believe you if you say "but I really mean it this time" without showing any effort to do anything about it? Why should she believe you?

[Mon12]

Whether or not I am an addict is something only a professional can say. Neither me nor you can really tell. I just tried to explain what gambling feels to me like once I am out of the loop.

If she decided to agree to talk to me, then I'd give suggestions to assure her, such as seeking therapy, counselling, blocking on gambling sites (which is done by now) and letting her handle my money if that would make her feel better. I think that is a reasonable thing to do in order to make progress. 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Mon12 said:

Whether or not I am an addict is something only a professional can say. 

The issue is that she apparently broke up because of the gambling.

There are self assessment questionnaires as well as support and information available:

https://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/20-questions

[smackie9]

You just found out addiction can raise it's ugly head at anytime. It never goes away it sits there and lies in wait. That's all it took was someone asking you to go gamble...saying oh well just one time won't hurt. You dismissing, denial, and lack of true accountability is typical of someone with an addiction. Oh ya you can say it won't happen again all you want, but it will. She knows this.

I say leave her alone. If she wants to talk she will contact you. If you want her to have her gifts you can mail them to her.

just a note: the majority of us on here are in our 40's to 60's. We have seen it, lived it, and had to deal with it ourselves. We know what we are talking about.

[boltnrun]

A close friend of mine told himself he wouldn't gamble anymore. Yet, he told me, he found himself turning his car into the casino parking lot every day. He said he has an "addictive personality" so it's not his fault. He got to the point where he was kicked out of his father's multi million dollar business because he'd stolen from him because he'd lost all his money gambling. And this guy was paid $10,000 each month tax free from his dad's company.

Please follow through with all this things you are planning to tell your ex you're going to do. Not to get her back but to help yourself. 

[HeartGoesOn]

2 hours ago, Mon12 said:

If she decided to agree to talk to me, then I'd give suggestions to assure her, such as seeking therapy, counselling, blocking on gambling sites (which is done by now) and letting her handle my money if that would make her feel better.

I'm sure you have all good intentions, but before you prove yourself to her/others, you have to prove all of this to yourself.   Believe it or not, this is more about you, and less about her.

At this point, rather than seeking help for your addition, your main goal is getting her back. The likely result would be you'll end up taking one step forward, and two back.

Hopefully this makes sense, and hopefully you'll find your way...

 

 

[Mon12]

Turns out she accepted my proposal and she is very angry at me and wants to process things out yet. I guess I couldn't ask for anything more than that. 

I will stick to the things you guys have adviced and surely will seek any kind of help in order to never repeat such a life threatening mistake. 

 

[boltnrun]

32 minutes ago, Mon12 said:

Turns out she accepted my proposal

What does this mean? She wants you to fly to visit her?

[Mon12]

Yes @boltnrun that's right! She told me she had time in few days.

At first she told me not to come and to send package, since she is still very angry with me. But we managed to talk through some stuff that I planned to say in person and things got slightly better.. or well, we both got some steem off our chest. She still said she needs some time and needs to think how she wants her future to look like. 

But in the very end, I got to express myself and tell a little bit of my perspective and how I feel of what I've done.