Mon12

Yes @boltnrun that's right! She told me she had time in few days. At first she told me not to come and to send package, since she is still very angry with me. But we managed to talk through some stuff that I planned to say in person and things got slightly better.. or well, we both got some steem off our chest. She still said she needs some time and needs to think how she wants her future to look like. But in the very end, I got to express myself and tell a little bit of my perspective and how I feel of what I've done.

Turns out she accepted my proposal and she is very angry at me and wants to process things out yet. I guess I couldn't ask for anything more than that. I will stick to the things you guys have adviced and surely will seek any kind of help in order to never repeat such a life threatening mistake.

Whether or not I am an addict is something only a professional can say. Neither me nor you can really tell. I just tried to explain what gambling feels to me like once I am out of the loop. If she decided to agree to talk to me, then I'd give suggestions to assure her, such as seeking therapy, counselling, blocking on gambling sites (which is done by now) and letting her handle my money if that would make her feel better. I think that is a reasonable thing to do in order to make progress.

As much as it hurts that's true, I would have been a liar. Which is why I decided to tell the truth because I always stay truthfull with her (she is aware of that). I know what it looks like from a strangers perspective. I admit, it really does look that I am an addict. But, on the other hand, I've asked few other people with the same problems and it's most likely that I have just been on the way to become one. I might not really be one in the fullest sense. >_<

@boltnrunI never implicated that my friend forced me. He just simply invited me and I accepted on my own will. What happened later was indeed an addiction feat. But otherwise, as long as im out of the loop (not chasing losses) I never really had any desire to play. But I will take the advice, I will wait for her answer. Thank you for the response

The thing is, if I had not told her and decided to tell her let's say 3 or even 5 years later about this event, it would prove that I've been clean and healed from this sort of addiction from gambling. Which would have left me a chance to prove myself. But now I can neither prove nor talk/exaplain to her my actions and that I've been able to overcome this.

The thing is, I have full understanding towards the idea that she cannot trust me or see future together. But on the other hand, I've never really been that much addicted to it. It was one hell of missfortune that my friend encouraged me to play with him, which led to me losing track of money. At the end, once you stop playing (at least that's how it feels for me) there really isn't any temptation whatsoever to play anymore. Id hope I could perhaps explain that to her and gain a bit of understanding for my perspective.

Mmm yea you're right @MissCanuck.. In that case all I can hope for now is for her to give me an answer whether I can come or not then 😞 Thanks for the advice and everything.

Thanks for the respone @Wiseman2. To be frank, she decided to break up with me 2 days ago. I know it's much of a time but I tried to contact her yesterday and maybe a small message today aswell. She didn't seem interested in having a converstation whatsoever. It is true that going to her would be impulsive, but on the other hand, She has holidays at the moment and this would be my only chance to visit her. Otherwise I'd have to wait who knows how long. And I don't want her to make these important choices on misinterpreted conceptions. Sure, I did gamble and lost a big sum of money, but there is still more as to what happened. It just feels it's wrong to just let her close her eyes and cover her ears and run away from something beatiful that we had.. I have asked her if it would be okay if I came over for 1 day to her to meet her for just as little as 5 minutes. I hope she answers soon and might be a bit understandable towards my feelings and concerns. Concidering her past relationships and her history and type of character, this isn't the type of person to get back with someone after a break up. That's why I'd also like to talk it through with her as soon as possible u_u

Thanks for the tip @smackie9. I agree with you, in normal case i'd leave them but this time around we both had prepared 2 months ago Christmas gifts for each other and because of unfortunate event we weren't able to meetup during that time. So maybe it might be right to give her the gifts considering I might not see her again..

Thank you for the advice @boltnrun. You're right. I were confident before. I can't tell whether or not I would play anymore, it's something only I could prove by time. And you're right. I will do that, I'll let her know 48h before I come to let her give a word about it. Thanks for the advice again, I appreciate it

Thank you for sharing your opinion @boltnrun. We were "online" friends for 1 year. Afterwards we decided to meetup and after the first day we saw each other we got into a romantic relationship. We already really liked each other online so it was a matter of seeing each other in person. After that we frequently visited each other every 2-3 months for 1-2 weeks. Regarding the blocking thing. Im unsure how it works for other gambling sites but for Poker it really isn't possible to pass the block. The reason I tried was to see whether it works or not. I am currently not seeking any professional help since I am confident that I am done with this kind of thing for good. I intended to tell her 1 day in advance that I would come to her. She has stated her line and made her decision that she doesn't want to be with me anymore but it feels weird ending on this kind of note when we were having lots of plans together for near future. Id attend any kind of therapy and get help from anything if it meant to gain her trust back, or well.. to prove her that I really am done for certain.

So, to give some context. I am a 22M and my g.. ex is a 24F. We have been doing LDR for 1.5 years now and we were really happy with each other and were just about to move in together. In the beginning of our relationship, we both made a pinky promes (which in itself are really powerful, at least for us) that we would stop our addictions. I would stop Gambling and she would stop Smoking. Everything was going really well until just recently, where I had.. broken that promise. I got down bad with Gambling (Poker in this case) and lost a huge amount of money which could be spend in any other kind of way which would result better. And so, I decided to tell her the truth my being transparent and honest with her. I told her that I had broken the pinky and I don't know what will happen now. She got really frustrated, she partially told me she would maybe close an eye if it wasn't for as much money as I did lose (I'd like not to disclose that). So she decided to break up with me. She lost all respect she had left for me and trust aswell. She said she values herself and has self-respect and will not continue this relationship because I am unreliable and untrustworthy (I cannot deny that, what I did was very bad and I am aware of that). I asked if it would be possible to give me a one last chance to show and prove myself that I have finally quit. I had quit gambling 2 months ago and have blocked myself from all available Poker sites that exist. There is no way I can play again even if I wanted too (I tried and I couldn't, so it proves). But.. she doesn't seem to be interested in pursuing this relationship anymore. Considering she broke up with me by chatting it doesn't feel right.. I feel like there's more to say and perhaps talk about and try to vague or relationship a bit more since we were really happy with each other and managed for 1.5 years. She would have never noticed anything if I didn't tell her because the financial situation didn't change all too much.. it's just that I lost money. But I'm not here to write any excuses to what I did. I decided to go visit her by taking a plane since she lives in another country. This would happen in few days which would be 1 week after she broke up with me. And I would like to ask you guys what you think. Is it really a good idea to meet her up personally and talk things down to the bottom so both of us can get the perspectives we are seeing or just leave it at that? I still have some christmas gifts that I weren't able to give her from previous months, so there's still some unfinished things. I'd still like to gift her that in person. I really love this girl and I'd do anything to be with her. Not only was she my girlfriend but also my very bestfriend that I shared everything with.. It hurts a lot u_u