The one that got away so I thought

[javajones]

When I was 16 I was visiting my grandparents who lived in a town where a lot of people have 2nd houses there. One day I was board and my grandpa suggested that I wash the car because there was a cute girl who lived a few houses down and maybe i could take her out later in the day. I didn't believe him  at first but went along with it. I was in the middle of washing the car when she came over and we started talking. She invited me over to her place and we went jet skiing  together.  We had so much in common and wasn't any awkward moments. I didn't think about a relationship because I lived on the other side of the country and only visited  once a year for a few weeks in the summer and she lived about 3 hours away so she was there more often as I was. That all changed on the 4th of July at this point the rest of my family arrived and no one was interested in going to see fireworks up close you could see them from the house as well. I really wanted to go so I thought I would see if she wanted to go and she says she would love too. I picked her up and we were driving into the main part of town i had grabbed a blanket and some snacks beforehand so we sat down and she said to me there is something I want to do and i bet you  know what it is so we started making out and had a great night. A few days later I had a really early flight to go home and I hadn't had a chance to say good bye because she was out with her family all the day before and didn't get back until after I fell asleep. I decided to write a note saying that I had a wonderful time and gave her my phone number and said that i would like to stay friends. I never heard from her again. Every year I would walk  by her families house and she wasn't there. Fast forward 20 years and I was talking to my parents about who still lived in the area and they mentioned her families last name so I decided to look her up on Facebook  and I found her. For a while I didn't message her because I wasn't sure how it would go. One day I decided to do it I said do you remember me from a few houses down from your place if not I am sorry to bother you. I didn't hear anything for a few days and thought nothing of it since it had been a long time. Out of the blue she responded and said refresh my memory so i did and I thought we had a nice chat we said what we had been up too and she ended it on it was nice to hear from you and hopefully we can catch up back in the same place we met. I thought it went well so I ask for a friend request but didn't hear anything.  I was talking to my best friend and  I knew him since high school and i told him that i found her I went to show him what she looks like and I couldn't find her profile anymore. i think she might have blocked me. I don't believe i did anything wrong or did I? I would like to know what I did and apologize. i am going back next week to visit family and her family still has the same house.  Do i write a note about this or let it go.  

[catfeeder]

I would not write a note or anything else. She knows how to reach you if she wants to.

I also don't believe you did anything wrong. She just has her own life to live and isn't interested in sharing any more about that.

It's no big deal. Maybe just a crushed fantasy.

Head high.

[Kwothe28]

Yes, she blocked you. Why? Eh, who knows? Lots of times fond memories of ours are not that fond to somebody else. She might just doesnt remember it so fondly or even at all. 

Dont do anything else. She blocked you so that means she doesnt want any contact. You got your answer so dont press it any further. 

[boltnrun]

Maybe she's married and doesn't want her husband to see messages from some other man.  Or she's in a committed relationship.

Don't write a note.  Blocking is a clear message that says "no, thanks".

Are you currently dating anyone?

[javajones]

No I am no dating anyone right now I didn't see anything about her being married thank you for the advice I am going to let it go. 

[HeartGoesOn]

Her silence is your answer...Sorry.

[MissCanuck]

9 hours ago, javajones said:

I didn't see anything about her being married 

That doesn't mean she isn't. Social media does not tell the whole picture. 

In any case, her lack of response to your friend request and subsequent blocking is the sign that she doesn't wish to continue communicating. It probably has nothing to do with you personally, but the message is clear. 

She isn't the one that got away, though. She's just a teen fling from your youth. Store it away as a fond memory but try not to over-romanticize a short-lived romance from 20 years ago. 

[Kwothe28]

23 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

That doesn't mean she isn't. Social media does not tell the whole picture. 

 

That is true. Added a girl once and started talking. She tells me she is in a relationship for 8 years. No pictures with the guy, no status, no anything. Only her in pictures and sometimes with her girl friends. I mean she could be lying but I dont think so.

So yes OP, she could have somebody even if there was nothing on her profile indicating at that.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, javajones said:

No I am no dating anyone right now I didn't see anything about her being married thank you for the advice I am going to let it go. 

Ok. The best thing to do is get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women. Backtracking 20 years to your carefree teens seems like nostalgia.  Live in the here and now.

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

That is true. Added a girl once and started talking. She tells me she is in a relationship for 8 years. No pictures with the guy, no status, no anything. Only her in pictures and sometimes with her girl friends. I mean she could be lying but I dont think so.

It's the same for me. 

I have been with my partner for almost 8 years, but for secuity reasons related to his line of work, he does not have any social media presence. Thus, he's not on mine either. 

[Justsomeone]

3 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

“That doesn't mean she isn't. Social media does not tell the whole picture.”

Yes this was the same for my relationships. In the time my ex partner and I were in a relationship for almost 8 years, we didn’t have anything on our social media about each other. Only our friends and family who knew in person knew about us. Didn’t need social media to prove we were together. 

 

[Rose Mosse]

Leave it alone. Don’t contact or write a note. It was good of you to try by the way. You did not do anything wrong.

[Cherylyn]

I agree with others, don't write her nor reach out to her anymore.  I'm sorry.  She outright rejected you.  __________  happens. 

20 years is a very long time.  Everyone's lives change drastically over 20 years.

It would've been LDR (long distance relationship) anyway and would've eventually dissolved due to obvious expensive inconvenience to see each other.  Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder.  To the contrary, too much absence causes two people to drift apart. 

[smackie9]

20 years later... probably not single or even remotely interested in knowing you again. She was just being nice without saying sorry not interested. It is what it is. She's not the same person nor are you. Life goes on.