What kind of relationship do me and my friend have? Please help

[limandy]

4 hours ago, Jaunty said:

Nudists don't grab each other by the balls either.  

OP:  I'm interested in how you two find yourself frequently wrestling buck naked.  Do you decide together to take off your clothes, or just spontaneously strip down at any given time? 

We wreslte all the time, its spontaneous and fun.  Only a few times where we gone naked, just from pulling our clothes off or pulling each other underwear up each other for fun, but we never intentionally get naked an wrestle.  Its just spur of the moment all the time, like when we prank each other.

[limandy]

3 hours ago, Tinydance said:

Yeah sorry I meant just the being naked part. Unless you're at a nudist beach or something it's not normal to get naked with your friends.

Mostly its when we are in private situations, like when we are alone the guest house, or in a hotel, we would like to hangout naked or in our underwear, cause we feel its comfortable.  Then when we would wrestle, it can get to a point we get naked and continue to wrestle naked.  Thats how it usually happens lol, but like I said its spontaenous, didnt think much of those times it being weird or gay till recently I saw a video of us doing it and thought it was kinda gay?  We were recording a gambling game we were playing and I lost, and then I decided to wreslte him down just as friends and it being fun.

[limandy]

3 hours ago, Tinydance said:

How old are you OP? I find it very surprising that you would honestly think that what you're doing is fine and not cheating. Even if you don't know the nature of his relationship with his girlfriend, you do know that he HAS a girlfriend. I'm sure somewhere deep down you know it's wrong but you're telling yourself it's all fine because you're "just cuddling". Actually you aren't just cuddling. You are both naked by choice and you're rubbing your hard penis on him. And he's fine with this and never asked you to stop, so he consents to it. 

Also I find it odd you're just carrying on with this and you haven't asked him what is actually going on here??!! Why is he doing this? Like, don't you want to know? Instead you're asking strangers online if he's gay or straight  - we don't know that.

I am around 18, Like is said very new to these experiences.  A bit avoidence in thinking about it when it happens.  Now I am more mindful when we are hanging out now.  I havent asked what is going on, I never thought it was out of the norm, till I saw videos/pictures of us, and recently thought it was a little more intimate than normal relationships between men.  But I am yes attracted to him, but I dont really have the intention on ever going intimate with him.  Because of my peers and the pressure of the people I am around, I would mostly likely to find a women partner than a male one.

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, limandy said:

Mostly its when we are in private situations, like when we are alone the guest house, or in a hotel, we would like to hangout naked or in our underwear, cause we feel its comfortable.  Then when we would wrestle, it can get to a point we get naked and continue to wrestle naked.  Thats how it usually happens lol, but like I said its spontaenous, didnt think much of those times it being weird or gay till recently I saw a video of us doing it and thought it was kinda gay?  We were recording a gambling game we were playing and I lost, and then I decided to wreslte him down just as friends and it being fun.

Yeah but A) Why do you always wrestle alone in private? and B) Why are you naked? There has to be some reason for it? 

When people are only friends maybe they'd get down to their boxers and t-shirt if it's hot but why naked? That's seriously crossing a line and most people would feel uncomfortable with it. Like, even gay people aren't into all gay people and would feel uncomfortable if they're not into the person. I'm bisexual myself but if one of my female friends just got naked, I'd be like: "What the??!"

[limandy]

3 hours ago, boltnrun said:

Or to lie on top of them while you're both naked, or to rub on them, or to touch their genitals...

I don't know anyone who wouldn't consider this sexual interaction.

HAHHA I never gave it much thought, but now over these forums I am realizing it is.  Like i said in the previous answers that only recently i started questioning it, after watching some vidoes and pictures of us, I started to wonder.

[boltnrun]

You ignored my question so I'll ask again. 

Do you do these naked "wrestling" genital rubbing and touching sessions in front of his girlfriend?

Being bi or gay is not "abnormal". It's nothing to be ashamed of. The bigger issue is his cheating behaviors with you.

You're young so you are learning. But think about it like this; if you two wouldn't do those things in front of his girlfriend and he's hiding it from her, it's cheating.

[limandy]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

Yeah but A) Why do you always wrestle alone in private? and B) Why are you naked? There has to be some reason for it? 

When people are only friends maybe they'd get down to their boxers and t-shirt if it's hot but why naked? That's seriously crossing a line and most people would feel uncomfortable with it. Like, even gay people aren't into all gay people and would feel uncomfortable if they're not into the person. I'm bisexual myself but if one of my female friends just got naked, I'd be like: "What the??!"

Actually, he is from another country.  He is from Korea, and over there it is very normal to be naked around your close friends.  The are public nude only spas as well.  This is very nomal in Korea, students go and hangout in those places after school and such.  My guest house we have saunas and jacuzzi, so we its normal for us to get naked and hangout when we are in it, or when we are gaming in our game room.

 

We also dont wreslte alone in private, we do it in public, just cause we mess around when we prank each other.  We like to prank a lot and fun.

[Tinydance]

3 minutes ago, limandy said:

HAHHA I never gave it much thought, but now over these forums I am realizing it is.  Like i said in the previous answers that only recently i started questioning it, after watching some vidoes and pictures of us, I started to wonder.

Sorry but I think you do need to "give it thought". Being naked and sexually touching and rubbing, when without consent is actually sexual assault. I understand your friend goes along with it and even sober, so obviously doesn't mind. But you need to understand this IS serious and your so called ignorant attitude can really get you in trouble one day if you think nothing of it. 

[limandy]

2 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

You ignored my question so I'll ask again. 

Do you do these naked "wrestling" genital rubbing and touching sessions in front of his girlfriend?

Being bi or gay is not "abnormal". It's nothing to be ashamed of. The bigger issue is his cheating behaviors with you.

You're young so you are learning. But think about it like this; if you two wouldn't do those things in front of his girlfriend and he's hiding it from her, it's cheating.

The touching of the genitals, yes we do that normally when we are wrestling, like grabbing it to hurt each other for fun.  That happens with and without clothing.  The rubbing on each other happens when I initiate it when we are drinking or in bed relaxing.  That one yes you are right does cross the line.  He NEVER intitates but just lets it happen, so thats why I didnt think of it as cheating, as its something I just do, and he just lies on the bed or sofa.  But at the time of happenning I did not give it much thought. 

You are right I wouldnt want my gf to do that with another guy.  But then again maybe if my girlfriend did it with another girl, I wouldnt be so mad? Never happenned so I couldnt tell you.

[Tinydance]

2 minutes ago, limandy said:

Actually, he is from another country.  He is from Korea, and over there it is very normal to be naked around your close friends.  The are public nude only spas as well.  This is very nomal in Korea, students go and hangout in those places after school and such.  My guest house we have saunas and jacuzzi, so we its normal for us to get naked and hangout when we are in it, or when we are gaming in our game room.

 

We also dont wreslte alone in private, we do it in public, just cause we mess around when we prank each other.  We like to prank a lot and fun.

I know about same gender saunas and all that because in the country I'm originally from we have that as well. It's not a sexual thing but people just sit in them and don't touch and don't do anything. Getting naked in a hotel room and wrestling and rubbing your hard penis I'm sure isn't just common in any country.

[limandy]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Sorry but I think you do need to "give it thought". Being naked and sexually touching and rubbing, when without consent is actually sexual assault. I understand your friend goes along with it and even sober, so obviously doesn't mind. But you need to understand this IS serious and your so called ignorant attitude can really get you in trouble one day if you think nothing of it. 

yea you are right, I never gave it thought, but now I am, and have helped me see that it isnt right.  Next time when we hangout I will give it much more thought and be careful definentily.  i never done this with any other people.

[limandy]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

I know about same gender saunas and all that because in the country I'm originally from we have that as well. It's not a sexual thing but people just sit in them and don't touch and don't do anything. Getting naked in a hotel room and wrestling and rubbing your hard penis I'm sure isn't just common in any country.

Yup and that is where the line is crossed, I do see the issue now, thats why I posted on this forum.  I was wondering, just cause he didnt seem like anything is wrong, I just went with it.

[boltnrun]

OK, I'll try a third time...

Do the two of you do this naked "wrestling", rubbing and genital touching in front of his girlfriend?

[Tinydance]

24 minutes ago, limandy said:

yea you are right, I never gave it thought, but now I am, and have helped me see that it isnt right.  Next time when we hangout I will give it much more thought and be careful definentily.  i never done this with any other people.

I think you need to be very careful just because you thought these sexual behaviours don't actually mean anything and are fine. I think your friend is fine with them, for what reason we don't really know. But you can't do this with people if there's no consent because it's sexual assault.

Like, if you were wrestling with a different male friend and you got a hard on and rubbed your penis on that friend, that is assault and NOT OK. Sitting in a same gender spa is OK naked if that's the tradition and even if you get hard that's probably by accident. But you cannot touch other people in intimate ways or touch yourself sexually without visible or verbal permission from that person. I'm just saying this because you thought nothing of it for so long and thought it doesn't mean anything but it does.

Please be very careful about doing things like this especially if you don't know the person's intentions or sexuality or they're in a relationship. Someone could report you to police and you could really get in trouble.

[Tinydance]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_assault

[limandy]

5 hours ago, boltnrun said:

OK, I'll try a third time...

Do the two of you do this naked "wrestling", rubbing and genital touching in front of his girlfriend?

no we do not, and I know that its not good to do it in front of his girlfriend.  I get the point that it is now crossing the line.  Like i said I wasent thinking before, but now I do see it thanks to everyone on this fourm including you.  Appreciate it!

[limandy]

5 hours ago, Tinydance said:

I think you need to be very careful just because you thought these sexual behaviours don't actually mean anything and are fine. I think your friend is fine with them, for what reason we don't really know. But you can't do this with people if there's no consent because it's sexual assault.

Like, if you were wrestling with a different male friend and you got a hard on and rubbed your penis on that friend, that is assault and NOT OK. Sitting in a same gender spa is OK naked if that's the tradition and even if you get hard that's probably by accident. But you cannot touch other people in intimate ways or touch yourself sexually without visible or verbal permission from that person. I'm just saying this because you thought nothing of it for so long and thought it doesn't mean anything but it does.

Please be very careful about doing things like this especially if you don't know the person's intentions or sexuality or they're in a relationship. Someone could report you to police and you could really get in trouble.

Yes, I am new to all of this, and lesson is learned, thank you for all the input on this, I appreciate it.  From my understanding we both were consenting adults, as when I asked him before he said he doesnt really care about us touching each other naked.  And he never rejected or denied the fact it happenned, and continued on the day.  We hangout like its normal again.  But now I see the issues, thanks for the input!

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, limandy said:

Mostly its when we are in private situations, like when we are alone the guest house, or in a hotel, we would like to hangout naked  

How old are you? Why are you videotaping these sessions? So now you're in hotel rooms together? You seriously pay for hotels for "wrestling" in the nude?

You're trying to make this simultaneously sound like 2 naive 13 year olds giving wedgies and two men who get a hotel room and video tape themselves. It's doubtful any of this is more than fiction and fantasy.

[limandy]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How old are you? Why are you videotaping these sessions? So now you're in hotel rooms together?

You're trying to make this simultaneously sound like 2 naive 13 year olds giving wedgies and two men who get a hotel room and video tape themselves. It's doubtful any of this is more than fiction and fantasy.

we were playing card games, and tried to record each others cards and reactions.  It was for tik tok and IG.

It is fine if you dont believe it, I appreciate all the input you and everyone has given me.  This is the experience I am having whether you believe it or not, and this is what is happenning in my life, not yours, so no need to call me a liar.  This thread doesnt affect you so please keep those kind of judgements to yourself.  Again i appreciate your time and input and have learned a lot.

[Batya33]

If there are pictures and videos of you two not wearing clothes and/or sexually touching I'd deal with that situation ASAP.

I have korean friends.  For many years before you were born and after.  I've never heard of people from korea hanging around with friends naked and touching each other's private parts.  I'm sure I would have in all these many years.

[boltnrun]

6 hours ago, limandy said:

no we do not, and I know that its not good to do it in front of his girlfriend.  I get the point that it is now crossing the line.  Like i said I wasent thinking before, but now I do see it thanks to everyone on this fourm including you.  Appreciate it!

So does that mean you're going to stop helping him cheat on his girlfriend?

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, limandy said:

we were playing card games, and tried to record each others cards and reactions.  It was for tik tok and IG.

So you are posting pornography? Why would a dude who has a GF post videos of you two playing cards, wresting, etc. in the nude? Why would you two get a room?

[reinventmyself]

20 hours ago, limandy said:

  I just never pushed it to the point of sex

Do you view the definition of sex as penetration?

And if this is all indeed normal, would you behave this way in front of his girlfriend?

[hub49]

Videotaping yourself wrestling naked with another guy and grabbing each other's genitals with the intent to hurt the other person isn't gay or bi.  It's demented!  

Assuming any part of this story is actually true, are you okay with being your friend's side piece?  Your friend is bi - not that there's anything wrong with it.  What's wrong is him staying with the girlfriend, unless they've agreed on an open relationship, which is apparently not the case here.

[smackie9]

I'm gonna put my 2 cents in but maybe your friend was molested as a child. Some, not all tend to either take sexual abuse or act it out later in life. Maybe that's why he just lays there are takes it but he doesn't get turned on by it.