am i cheating? [ABUSE WARNING]

[ihatethatihavetobehere]

hi. i'm gabby, and i'm 15.

 

i met someone online in 2019, we've been together for almost three years. for the time that we've been together, he's been being verbally abusive, manipulative, called me many names, blocked people out of my life, over-sexualizes me, and used how much i think i love him to his advantage, eventually "video call raping/virtually sexually abusing me". he has all my information (mom's passwords, that i did not give him, my emails, IP addresses of my house and my grandparents, full name, address, etc.) and he's a year older than me.

i met someone very better and he's going to, i don't know, give me assurance and confidence to leave this ***ty thing i wouldn't even describe a relationship.

 

he calls me pretty, cute, says he has the biggest crush on me, all that. and i said i like him too, just to wait until the situation i'm in is over.

 

i feel overly guilty, i haven't said anything sexual or romantic to the guy other than that ^^^

 

we get along great, but i feel there's something i can't describe; a nauseating feeling i would almost describe as worry and guilt, but it exceeds that.

 

please give me as much info as you're willing to to a. escape this and b. tell me if i'm, y' know, a cheater.

[Seraphim]

You need to tell your mother what is happening and that her passwords are compromised. You don’t need to put up with abuse . Go to your parents. 

[melancholy123]

Talk to your parents.  You must stop communicating with this creep.  12 yrs old and you are having some sort of sick online relationship.  Now 15, you must stop this.  Block, delete, change passwords etc., but most of all tell your parents or trusted adult.

[Wiseman2]

Is there trouble at home? Why are you engaging in this? You need your parents permission to post on forums if you are under 18:

Children's Online Privacy Protection Rule 

COPPA imposes certain requirements on operators of websites or online services directed to children under 13 years of age, and on operators of other websites or online services that have actual knowledge that they are collecting personal information online from a child under 13 years of age.

[MissCanuck]

Please, talk to your parents. 

None of this is acceptable and you are very vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. 

[EdnaMarie35]

I do agree with everyone, tell your mom what’s going on. She needs to change her passwords immediately and also get a new up address for your home. I know at that age it can feel like your parents are against you but they really love you more than life itself and will do almost anything to protect you. I think I was 15 when I realized that my mom is my #1 supporter and best friend. She can help you get out of this in the safest way possible. To answer your question no, you are not a cheater. You are in a tough place and at your age it’s honestly a whirlwind of emotions. But keep your head up and stay focused on your well being. Also maybe taking some time without a relationship after this is over with would be helpful. It’s easier when you have a “rebound” but it might just end up hurting the “rebound” person and creating for pain for you in the long run. I really hope you find the courage to remove the toxic person form your life and confide in your mom for help ❤️