What kind of problems do you think he had?

[Batya33]

9 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

But I was told he did have problems. I suspect maybe his parents were forcing him to sleep in the basement and/or he was dealing drugs.

How would you like it if someone made such wild negative assumptions about you or someone you care about?  That is the problem here.

[Capricorn3]

30 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

But I was told he did have problems. I suspect maybe his parents were forcing him to sleep in the basement and/or he was dealing drugs.

What a horrendous thing to say about someone and their parents whom you don't even know or anything about them.  This is both shocking, and dare I say bordering on disgusting., Assumptions are a dangerous thing, OP.  Please think a little before you say or post such uncalled for things.

[midnightdeirdre]

Ok maybe I should make this my avatar:

 

 

[midnightdeirdre]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

How would you like it if someone made such wild negative assumptions about you or someone you care about?  That is the problem here.

A 17 year old boy cut out paper glasses, put them on, and said he was me. Everyone kept telling me, "He has problems!" So I'm curious what kind of problems would prompt a 17-year old boy to do something a 7-year old would do.

[midnightdeirdre]

2 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

Everyone kept telling me, "He has problems!" 

Yet, all of you are implying the exact opposite; that he didn't have problems, that he was just an immature boy and nothing more. But that's not what I was told about him. 

[Capricorn3]

1 minute ago, midnightdeirdre said:

A 17 year old boy cut out paper glasses, put them on, and said he was me. Everyone kept telling me, "He has problems!" So I'm curious what kind of problems would prompt a 17-year old boy to do something a 7-year old would do.

This has been answered several times before! IMMATURITY. Nothing more, nothing less.

[Capricorn3]

1 minute ago, midnightdeirdre said:

Yet, all of you are implying the exact opposite; that he didn't have problems, that he was just an immature boy and nothing more. But that's not what I was told about him. 

Do you always believe everything someone tells you??  Who cares? It's way in the past 10-20 years ago.  This guy is long gone and probably doesn't even remember your name.  Let is go already.

[midnightdeirdre]

2 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

This has been answered several times before! IMMATURITY. Nothing more, nothing less.

So his "problems" were that he was immature. Well then why didn't everyone say to me, "He's got immaturity!"

[midnightdeirdre]

2 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

This guy is long gone and probably doesn't even remember your name.

I hope so, lol.

[Capricorn3]

5 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

So his "problems" were that he was immature. Well then why didn't everyone say to me, "He's got immaturity!"

OP, are you deliberately trying to be difficult and look for arguments? 

[midnightdeirdre]

2 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

OP, are deliberately trying to be difficult and look for arguments? 

No. Just trying to figure out what problems he had, since everyone else kept telling me did. But now I'm being told he didn't. Weird.

[Batya33]

20 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

No. Just trying to figure out what problems he had, since everyone else kept telling me did. But now I'm being told he didn't. Weird.

Many posted that he was acting in an immature way. I think you're just looking to be right and to argue.  And it wasn't "everyone else" - you're not his close friend or his parent or sibling nor did you have any factual knowledge about any so-called "problems" he may have had.  That's because it's none of your business. Certainly if a person bullies or harasses you you have the right to go to a person in charge, a person with authority, to describe how you have been wronged. 

Or the right to tell the person to stop of course.  But your reaction is simply spreading negativity and spreading it internally - meaning, the more you allow yourself to make all these mean and hateful assumptions about people, the more it will eat away at you and shift your mindset from a person who is kind and compassionate to someone who is ugly inside.

My suggestion -in your daily life practice giving people the benefit of the doubt if you can.  For example, a cashier who is rude to you might simply be having a bad day if it's a one time thing (rather than "has problems"), a person who is dressed in a disheveled way that you see on the street might have had an awesome night on the town and not brought a change of clothes, or, depending, might be down on his or her luck and facing tough times as opposed to being, let's say "lazy" or "has problems".  

When you -in your head even -give people the benefit of the doubt if you can you create a healthier way of looking at the world and people will feel comfortable around you.  This sort of mud slinging very often shows in your very presence, your posture, your tone and will repel people from you.

 

[midnightdeirdre]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Many posted that he was acting in an immature way. I think you're just looking to be right and to argue.  And it wasn't "everyone else" - you're not his close friend or his parent or sibling nor did you have any factual knowledge about any so-called "problems" he may have had.  That's because it's none of your business. Certainly if a person bullies or harasses you you have the right to go to a person in charge, a person with authority, to describe how you have been wronged. 

Or the right to tell the person to stop of course.  But your reaction is simply spreading negativity and spreading it internally - meaning, the more you allow yourself to make all these mean and hateful assumptions about people, the more it will eat away at you and shift your mindset from a person who is kind and compassionate to someone who is ugly inside.

My suggestion -in your daily life practice giving people the benefit of the doubt if you can.  For example, a cashier who is rude to you might simply be having a bad day if it's a one time thing (rather than "has problems"), a person who is dressed in a disheveled way that you see on the street might have had an awesome night on the town and not brought a change of clothes, or, depending, might be down on his or her luck and facing tough times as opposed to being, let's say "lazy" or "has problems".  

When you -in your head even -give people the benefit of the doubt if you can you create a healthier way of looking at the world and people will feel comfortable around you.  This sort of mud slinging very often shows in your very presence, your posture, your tone and will repel people from you.

 

Wasn't looking for a fight. Was trying to figure out what kind of problems that a teenager would have that would prompt him to make paper glasses and say he was me. After all, I kept being told he had them.

Now everyone is practically implying that his behavior was NORMAL. 

Edited June 13 by midnightdeirdre

[Seraphim]

It doesn’t matter though. It is like a whole generation ago and has ZERO impact on today. I got made fun of for glasses all the time even as an adult by adult people . I don’t remember who they are and don’t care . Bigger problems in the present to fry than worry about 40 years ago. 

[melancholy123]

4 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

But I was told he did have problems. I suspect maybe his parents were forcing him to sleep in the basement and/or he was dealing drugs.

That's some interesting theories you have but what proof do you have?  Also, what does it matter now???

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

 I suspect maybe his parents were forcing him to sleep in the basement and/or he was dealing drugs.

Maybe you need to focus more on why you are coming up with wild (and seemingly baseless) theories about a random guy from years and years ago. 

He probably hasn't given you any thought in ages, yet you're here with a whole thread about him. 

[Batya33]

10 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

Wasn't looking for a fight. Was trying to figure out what kind of problems that a teenager would have that would prompt him to make paper glasses and say he was me. After all, I kept being told he had them.

Now everyone is practically implying that his behavior was NORMAL. 

Could be problems or no kind of problems at all.  Immaturity isn't a problem. Having a bad day isn't a problem.  You're exaggerating in this post to try to be right - do you want to be stridently right or do you want to be openminded and think outside the box just a bit?

[midnightdeirdre]

4 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Could be problems or no kind of problems at all.  Immaturity isn't a problem. Having a bad day isn't a problem.  You're exaggerating in this post to try to be right - do you want to be stridently right or do you want to be openminded and think outside the box just a bit?

As I said, the incident was (obviously) on my mind. When I told my counselor at the time she said, "He's got problems!" And the former teacher told me he "had problems." So I was wondering what "problems" would prompt a boy to make paper glasses and say he was me. 

But according to all of you, he probably didn't have problems at all, just being a normal and healthy teenage boy. Right.  🙄

[Wiseman2]

9 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

 I told my counselor at the time she said, "He's got problems!" And the former teacher told me he "had problems."

Next time ask the counselor. However a therapist is not going to make an armchair diagnosis based on your rendition of this . So think whatever you wish. Sometimes people are just bullies and jerks.

[Seraphim]

12 minutes ago, midnightdeirdre said:

As I said, the incident was (obviously) on my mind. When I told my counselor at the time she said, "He's got problems!" And the former teacher told me he "had problems." So I was wondering what "problems" would prompt a boy to make paper glasses and say he was me. 

But according to all of you, he probably didn't have problems at all, just being a normal and healthy teenage boy. Right.  🙄

And WHY are these ADULTS discussing the life of another CHILD with a CHILD. Completely and utterly unethical. Something wrong with them actually. 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, midnightdeirdre said:

As I said, the incident was (obviously) on my mind. When I told my counselor at the time she said, "He's got problems!" And the former teacher told me he "had problems." So I was wondering what "problems" would prompt a boy to make paper glasses and say he was me. 

But according to all of you, he probably didn't have problems at all, just being a normal and healthy teenage boy. Right.  🙄

No you are twisting my words. Why I don't know - enjoy your agenda/approach/being on the warpath.

[melancholy123]

I think many of us were jerks as teenagers and I can honestly say I was in many ways.  A lot of us were know it alls too, as was I.  It comes down to the immature brain of a teenager.  Some kids act out in odd ways and the immature brain is often what is behind it.  The male brain doesn't stop maturing until age 25 so this guy had a long way to go at that time.  

[midnightdeirdre]

11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sometimes people are just bullies and jerks.

Many bullies are mean due to problems at home, and of course being insecure about themselves. Bullies (people in general) aren't mean for no reason at all.

[midnightdeirdre]

11 hours ago, Seraphim said:

And WHY are these ADULTS discussing the life of another CHILD with a CHILD. Completely and utterly unethical. Something wrong with them actually. 

The teacher didn't discuss Sam's personal life with me. Simply said, "He had problems." Didn't go into detail after that.

[Seraphim]

It is not their right to discuss ANYTHING about him in fact they could have been fired .