Was I wrong?

[Rashford]

Hi I have been dating this girl for three years, she was a second year nursing student at the time i met her, we have been together and i have done a lot for her. But her problem is that she was too full of pride she would answer me anyhow she felt. Down talk me compare me to other guys and tell me things like what you did for me another guy would of done for me, whenever i reminded her of the sacrifices I was making. I have been paying for her rent for three years because he family are not well off and couldn’t afford to help her.

 

I did almost everything for this woman. just for her to involve her friends in our relationship and those friends were a bad influence. I tried speaking to her but she wouldn’t listen. On her birthday in September she had received an expensive watch gift from her best friends EX boyfriend and she snapped it on her instagram stories and i got jealous I then told her to take the watch back but she refused and I got angry it became an issue and we stop talking to each other for three days.

 

After I tried to apologize to her explained to her that I don't appreciated her friends ex buying her such gifts, she started getting disrespectful and told me that I was annoying her, she then went to on a trip with one of her friends new boyfriends house. She had blocked me for one week and started posting disturbing pictures and videos of things i do not like such as going to the clubs and licking ice cream in a provocative way while seated in another guys cars etc. It made me feel so sad because all my friends were laughing at me, but she didn’t care. She blocked every number i called her with, she then came to the town and she went to stay at her friend’s house and not wanting to visit me at my house. she continued with her toxic attitude it stressed me out to the point that I was no longer eating or sleeping, she started going out to bars in my town with her friend and whenever my friends saw her they would call me up and laugh at me. It came to a point that i broke up with her. When she was leaving my town she phones me and apologized while going back to her town hence we were in a long distance relationship. I refused because I told her that she only wanted me back so i can provide for her and pay her rent etc.

 

It was a sad moment because during that time I had bought her an engagement ring which cost me a lot of money but it was supposed to be a surprise. I then took her back and while i took her back while i took her back her iPhone 8 plus got broken and i bought her an iPhone 11 pro max. I went to fix the iPhone 8 plus and when it turned on she gave me the pin only to find out that she was flirting with other guys going on secret dates and accepting money from a guy who wants her. i confronted her and she told me that she did not cheat on me she only played them but i refused to listen I dumped her. took all her small gifts she bought me back to her and I took back my iPhone 11 pro cause i felt it would be disrespectful to leave her with it so she continues flirting. the question is was i wrong?    

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Rashford said:

I took back my iPhone 11 pro cause i felt it would be disrespectful to leave her with it so she continues flirting

Good you ended it. You dodged a bullet.

You can't buy love with money and gifts. She seems to use men for that.

Delete and block her from all your devices, messaging apps and social media. Sever all accounts and change ALL your passcodes.

[Kwothe28]

In my country, we call those type of girls "Sugar Baby". They have an uncanny ability to "leech" upon men who would provide for them in exchange for mostly their company. For example you provide rent and a new phone, other guy seem to provide expensive watch etc. When you fail to provide she would find somebody else that would and that goes in circles. She doesnt need to work or works very little while men orbiting around her provide her stuff. I am guessing she is pretty so finding guilable men to do it was never the issue. Here they also like to do plastic surgeries. Its not uncommon for a guy like you to pay a girl like her fake boobs or something like that. After all, you wanted to prove how you like her and she constantly hammered to you how any other men would do stuff like that for her.

So, no you werent wrong for getting rid of somebody like that. Cant even believe you fell for "friends ex" story. Which friends ex would buy her expensive watch unless there is something else involved? That is her other boyfriend, lover, or whatever label she gives you and them. I do think that you need to take a good look at the mirror though. You paid her rent for 3 years. Why? Did you think she would leave if you dont? So what if she does, you shouldnt need somebody liking you and staying with you just because you pay for stuff. So you need to reflect on that. And stay away from her or any other girls of that kind. It wont bring you any love unless you want them to love you for your money.

[smackie9]

Here's my opinion. If they can't stand on their own two feet and support themselves, buy their own clothes, food and provide a roof over their head, don't date them. 

[boltnrun]

She wanted you for rent money and gifts. Not for love.

You were not wrong.

Do not beg this woman back. She would just continue to use you for money.

[SooSad33]

You have been dating this girl for 3 yrs too long 😕 .

She's been using you for everything and disrespecting you & your relationship.

Good on you to dump her!  She does not deserve you... Or your money!  Stop all of that now.

Let her find her own way and use some other guy!  If she can't manage, she can move back home . Is NOT your problem!

And learn to respect yourself.. never hang around someone who uses you and treats you like this.

 

[catfeeder]

On 2/7/2022 at 10:45 AM, smackie9 said:

Here's my opinion. If they can't stand on their own two feet and support themselves, buy their own clothes, food and provide a roof over their head, don't date them. 

Ditto. If you want to set yourself up as a bank account for another adult, then you are not a victim, you are your own perp.

[Andrina]

Yes, learn from your mistakes. If her family couldn't afford rent, she could've lived with them or gotten a job, besides going to school, to afford what she needed. And learn that a partner should lift you up in spirit, and if they don't, it's time to bail ASAP. 

Do you think you'll be able to better recognize red flags sooner after this experience? Look at the bright side that you'll be better prepared next time to know what you don't want and go for what you do want. If you just blame her without recognizing you made an expensive mistake that also mentally drained you, you won't grow as a human being. Take care.

[Rose Mosse]

On 2/7/2022 at 5:00 AM, Rashford said:

The question is was i wrong?    

The only thing you did wrong was paying someone’s rent and trying to control her actions when it’s very clear she doesn’t like you or want to be with you. She was using you and that was all. She took advantage of your weakest area believing you can buy loyalty/affection with cash.

Treat this as a learning experience. Don’t seek to pay your way through a relationship and expect your partner to do as you say. That’s an extremely unhealthy dynamic. Have some boundaries in the way you conduct yourself and in what you expect of your partner equally as you would expect out of yourself.