How do I overcome my fear of making the first move?

[iminexperienced101]

I have been on four dates with this girl I really like (we're both 24) and we haven't kissed once. I can't help but blame myself for not making a move earlier. I just get so extremely nervous because when I'm in that situation, because I have absolutely no experience with dating.

I'm so ashamed of myself for acting like a 13 year old on a first date when I'm on my FOURTH date by now. I really hope that I'll muster the courage to make a move on the fifth date, otherwise I really don't know how I will overcome my absurd awkwardness.

Any advice on how I can approach this would be very much appreciated!

[lostandhurt]

First off don't be ashamed.  There is nothing wrong with being nervous and not having much experience.

  If this young woman is the understanding type then I say you talk about it with her.  "I don't know if you noticed but I am not all that experienced with dating"  "I wanted to kiss you goodnight two dates ago but I got nervous and chickened out" 

This is the Elephant in the room so why not bring it up and make it the topic of the conversation. This I think will be better than me telling you how to read her eyes and how to lean in part way and look for signs from her.  You just need to get this out of the way and in the open.

There is nothing wrong with being nervous around a woman you really like until it goes on to long and she begins to wonder what the deal is.  Best to bring it up in person, no texting it!

  Are you brave enough to talk about this with her?

Lost

 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, iminexperienced101 said:

I'm on my FOURTH date by now.

Hopefully you are not reading pickup artist nonsense about 3-date 'rule' or being egged on by friends or porn.

Where are you getting this "have to make a move" thing?

First of all you start by putting your arm around her, holding hands, a hug after a date, etc. Make sure it's in a romantic situation where you have a little privacy but not in your car or home.

 At worst she'll think your a gentleman. Try more relaxing settings and cool your heels about rounding the bases. Smile, sit closer, laugh at her jokes, etc. You need rapport before you get physical.

 

[reinventmyself]

You are perfectly normal and most people feel nervous making the move to kiss someone for the first time.  You don't ever really get over it.  Firsts in anything can often be a little nerve rattling.

I agree with Lost's advise to just tell her that you've been wanting to kiss her, yet feel nervous.  I think it's endearing and refreshingly honest.  Funny thing about disclosing this, a kiss almost always follows.

There is typically a window of opportunity to kiss someone.  Don't wait too long.  

[smackie9]

Most people have one or two drinks to loosen up. Not get all sloppy drunk, just enough to feel comfortable. Kinda like just share a bottle of wine, nice conversation over dinner, then go for a romantic walk. Just make sure everyone takes an Uber.

[Lambert]

I'm telling you... this is something everyone feels awkward about. 

maybe ask her if she'd like a kiss. I know that sounds weird but it does prepare her so you don't bang heads or some other awkward thing. 

Also go easy... the last first kiss I had was awful. the guy was like super aggressive. my poor face.

😆 🤣 😂